The Brand New Bangalore Kid

Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.

Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.

Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!

Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…

Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!

Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)

Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…

For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M: Hell Yeah :P)

The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..

EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh

Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…

EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?

Me: Have to write a blog post.

EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.

Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,

Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?

Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!

Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy

Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!

Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?

Me: yes man, I feel bad

Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…

Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Oh shit yaar, bathroom jaana padega!!! Kal likhta hoon

EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.

Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!

Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!

ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?

Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?

Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!

Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&

EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^

Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..

Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”

Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*

ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)

I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…

First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.

Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!

Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…

ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!

EVIL M: yeah rgt…. Anyways… please continue your gun gyaan :P

ME: I don’t need your approval..

EVIL M: !~!@$%!#%$^^^

Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!

EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha

Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…

EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha

ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….

EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…

Evil M: (eerie static sound…..)

Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…

Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!

ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..

Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)

So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)

EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P

(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P

They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…

I remember a joke from the night..

Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?

Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)

Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P

To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.

We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).

Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….

EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…

Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).

P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….

Transition towwards hope

First of all thank you so much for the support you guys gave me in the last post, i was so so so happy to see your guys comments, it was the highlight of my holidays this year :)... EVIL M too sends his regards, i think he cried a lil bit :P
(EVIL M: that's a lie, it was you remember)
anyways he wont admit it :)

I'm thinking about writing some serious stuff(It'll come soon), so dint write anything from the past two weeks, but i want to share something with you guys...

When i broke up with my girlfriend, something happened inside of me, it was like a feeling i can never put in words, it was a hard time getting over her, still not am....

But during that period of time when i broke up.... the poet inside of me, wanted to talk, i know it sounds funny, but the way those emotions came out I'm surprised myself.... so i just wanted to share this poem with you...

In the infinities of beyond, I lay unabashed
Believing in a worth no other man believed.
In this permanence of solitude, i found this self,
Resonating me, but none like any



In search of respite, i travel along unfollowed paths,
Where every step taken forward, pulls me back
towards a halo which i once loved to live in



Now that cloud of comfort, has rained, nothing left
it floats away
i look towards the sun for a new beginning. Still,
in love with the yesterday's sunset.

You might find it funny when i say this, i am the one who wrote that poem, but couple of lines in that poem i've never been able to decode.. but i want to find out, what it says, what made me write those lines,... i wanna know, so if you guys come up with something, it would be a great help for me.... :)

well thats for today... i'll be back next week :).... have an eventful week ahead :)... take care

Cries of a lonely heart

As I sit outside my house staring into a sense of nothingness that has engulfed in my life lately, I cant help but feel nostalgic, the feeling that I am just 150 kilometers away is the only consolation for that, but still being away from your family and your friends can be very hard for a guy who hasn't lived even 20 kilometers apart in his whole life.

As I look beside me towards the sun disappearing into the night, the hue that its leaving beyond is the prefect expression that my heart is feeling right now, it speaks about the emotions that I was once unable to feel, the wind whispers into my ears “You are alone my love, but I will be always be there for you” I just cant help but slip back into memories of how I become a person who I am now.

It was her birthday that day, 28^th December 2008 to be exact, and to give her surprise I had written about her on this very blog link. She was so happy after reading it, that she showed it to all her colleagues at work and they said, “you are very lucky to have a brother like him”, but I guess I wasn't lucky enough, because just after 18 days and that too just 2 days after my birthday, I lost the most important thing in my life, my happiness.

You know we say we share everything with our friends which we cannot share with our family, its true but still something’s which we cannot even share with our best friends we share it with our family members, and a sister or a brother are the best persons who understand our pain like none other.

My sister was the only source of happiness in my life, sure we fought everyday and I was jealous when she got more gifts for her birthday than me, but in my heart I always wanted to see her happy, but that wasn't to be as she left for a place where I cannot reach even if I want to, I miss her perking me up when I was down, I miss her stupid jokes which would make me smile, she was the one with whom I shared everything, but now when I want her to sit by my side and listen to my crying heart, she is nowhere to be found. Oh I miss her so much.

4 months back when I came to Mysore, I thought I would be able to forget the pain, how wrong I was.........., even though the pain has eased to a little extent, its still there like a never ending ocean and I guess it always will be, even though the happiness had come back to a little extent with my cousin brother, today that too was gone as he went to work almost 10 thousand kilometers away to a place called Panthnagar near Delhi, I am feeling so numb that the 2 persons who understood me better than myself are not with me, one has gone and even after an eternity will never come back and the other will not be with me for another year, The curse which had gone away for some time has come back and held me back so strong that its hard to breathe now.

The curse named loneliness has come back every time just when happiness had laid its beautiful footsteps into my life, like a soothing wave of cold air that comes just for a minute before an hour of loneliness holds me one more time.

The peacefulness which I found through sleep is now nowhere to be found, I wouldn't have written this, but the pain is so hard that today I had a feeling that, I should just leave writing, it scared me so much that I was crying at that moment, because writing to me is like breathing without which I cannot live for a moment, its like my passions, my ambitions, are all going dead, like a termite the curse is eating me from the inside and when I extend my hands for help they is no one.

I have seen this many times, things like this specifically happens to people who care about others a lot, who bear the pain thinking others might get hurt, who cover their own tears sensing another's pain and comfort them to make them feel better.

You know I never was the person I am now, cause even though I cared, I never felt a person's pain, but my sister's death changed all that, the emotions I felt that day were so intense, that I dint knew I had them in me, I was so depressed that if a moment where I could smile came to me I couldn't, because I felt I was committing some sort of a crime, but my friends in college were a great comfort at that period who helped me to come out of my pain, but after college ended they all went separate ways including me, that's when it went from better to worse cause the memories keep coming back every single day.

I just wish this phase would pass and I would be back to normal, but I think it will just be a dream.

If only i could find someone to share this pain, if only.......... Oh how I wish that dream came true, but I know it never will, because I think the curse will always be there, will always be there....... will always be there........,