The truth

One of the values kids are taught at a young age is to tell the truth. The same was with my family. My mom was very strict about me and my sister telling truth. She used to say, “No matter what you have done, always tell the truth. It is much easier and it’s always, always the better option.”

In my childhood I was naughty kid. I used to get into trouble every day. As I started growing up, it continued, but the naughty turned into something else when I saw kids at my school wear new clothes, buy new things.

Every time I used to see my friend buy new things I wanted it. It wasn’t like I was obsessed about it, but I wanted it. What I dint know at that time is that there was one thing that would grow into an obsession.

It was the year 2000 and computer games had just made its way into my small hometown of Coorg, Madikeri. Everybody was playing. Kids, adults, you name it they were playing it. I so, so, so wanted to play them as everyone in our school was describing how amazing it was.

I had just passed out my junior high and entered my high school. My dad had given me 20 bucks on passing the exams. I took the money and ran to the cyber café to play the games with my friends.

I dint know squat about computer games. My friends cheated and played with my money for 2 hours, leaving me bitterly angry and unsatisfied. I said to myself, ‘I will play games all by myself without anybody’s help’, and that’s what I exactly did. The feeling I used to get when I played the games was amazing. Just like the feeling I used to get when i drank juice made from Kissan squashes; 100% real and amazing.

I was addicted and spent all the money I had on the computer games. Times were not as expensive as it is now. I used to get 5 bucks every week as pocket money, lesser sometimes. As we had our own shop, every time I used to ask my dad for more money, he used to say “When you have everything here, what do you need money for? If you want something I will buy it for you.”

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to play computer games and that was it. My dad wasn’t so rich that he’d buy me a computer, so I thought of a plan. Every time I was home after school my dad used to make me sit in the shop and go for a coffee break for 10 minutes. I hated sitting at the shop, but I did it anyway because I wanted my dad to rest.

One day as I was sitting, minding the shop, my eyes fell on the cash register. I saw the money my dad had made the whole day. There were a couple of 20’s, 50’s and a lot of 10’s. I saw how my friends looked at me when I played the games. I was good, not just good, I was goooood. We competed in car races and I always own. I wanted to maintain that winning streak and so I took two 10 rupee notes from the register.

As soon as I had the money in my hand I started panicking. I thought, ‘Will I get caught?’, ‘What if dad comes to know about the missing money?’, ‘What would happen if I get caught?’ A hundred questions crossed my mind. I was sweating and put the money back. I saw my dad come in. He saw me, smiled and said to go play outside. I went.

The thought never left me. My mind said ‘You could have just taken the money and left, dad wouldn’t know!’ I said to myself ‘No I can’t do it. It would be stealing and then if he asks me, I’d have to lie. I don’t wanna do that.’ There was no voice for some time, but as the evening progressed the thought never left my mind.

I met my friends next week and as I hadn’t played the games for a week, I was sloppy. I lost all games and I was angry at myself. I said to myself “Enough is enough, I am a winner and that’s what I will be.”

I went to my dad and said “I want money to play computer games!”

He said “You play a lot of games thousif; no you can’t have more money. Your grades will go down, sit and study rather than playing games".

I was pissed. I was so pissed that I when my dad went for his break that day, I took two 20 rupees notes without a guilty conscience. I went and played games without a worry in the world.

My dad didn’t suspect a thing, so I started taking money every day. What started with 40 bucks soon grew 50, 60 and more. Whatever I dint spend on the computer games I used to save up.

After 3 years I had collected a lot of money. Yes, 3 years; 3 freaking years. I would have continued if it wasn’t for my sister.

One of the saddest things in my life was my sister’s death. That event led to everyone in our house become zombies for weeks. I used to fight with my sister a lot and when she passed away I blamed myself for not asking sorry. Remembering her I used to cry on my mother’s shoulder and howl with pain, asking my sister to forgive me. It was normal childhood fights, but the pain of not getting to ask sorry was real and hurt every day.

As I was crying one day, I remembered what I had been doing for the past 3 years. I felt ashamed and I wanted to say it to my parents. But my ego dint let me. I was very afraid thinking what my dad would say, but the guilt was eating me out. I stopped taking the money, but I had the money I had saved. I may have had like 10,000 bucks with me. I wanted to put it all back, but my dad would ask ‘Where did all the money come from?’ and I would have no answer.

I wanted to say the truth and now I couldn’t. I was in agony. I felt like I was on fire, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

One day I fought with my mom. It was a bitter fight. She was crying and I was still angry. Suddenly I saw the picture of my sister on the table and I felt pain. I thought how I used to fight with her and now I had done the same with my mother. An inner voice told me ‘See thousif, you can’t ask sorry for the bad times you had with your sister, but you can set things right by asking sorry with your mother and telling her the truth’

I remembered what my mom used to say ‘Say the truth, no matter what.’ I went to where my mom was silently sobbing. I saw her, went near her, held her hand and let her to my bedroom. I sat down and said “I am really sorry mom” She stopped crying and saw me. I said how sorry I was for being such an arrogant child, and that I was sorry for all the bad things I had done in my life. She said that I wasn’t a bad kid, only a little stubborn sometimes but that was ok. I dint listen to her. I had taken a decision and I would abide to it.

I started talking about my sister and said how sorry I was for fighting with her and how sorry I was for fighting with my mom. I started crying, i was hysterical, like I couldn’t stop myself. It was 10 in the night and listening to my crying my dad silently came from the shop and stood near the door. I started crying, asking sorry and cried some more. My dad came near me and seeing him I just broke down. I wanted to confess and finally I thought it was now or never and I did it.

I said how I had started taking money and how I spent it on computer games and how I had saved some of it. I took a long time to confess and when I had finally finished my dad said only one thing “I knew.”

I looked at him and he hugged me and said “I knew about it, but I wanted you to stop it by yourself.” “You took a long time to stop, saved up a lot of money, but you did it.” he said smiling. I blurted out a laugh and looked at my mom. She came forward and hugged me and said smilingly “I knew too” I looked at her and tears flowed again. “Don’t cry” she said “I know you lied to us, but you taking initiating and confessing you did something wrong and admitting it is a huge thing.” I heard her say this and cried some more.

“Stop crying my child” my mother said hugging me tighter “You took a big step and see now we know you will never do it” she added.

I looked into her eyes and knew that I had cleansed my sins through the tears I cried. My parents rather than being angry were happy that I had realised my mistake. Both my parents got up from my bed and my dad took my chin into his hands and said smilingly “If you ever need money just ask thousif, everything me and your mother earn is for you itself. It always has been.”

That moment was real for me. More real than anything I had experienced in my life, ever. I learnt that whatever happens in life my parents will always be there for me. It made me feel so good to tell the truth. It made me and my parents grow stronger as a family and since then I haven’t taken a single rupee without asking.

That day I learnt that truth no matter how hurtful it is, is always a beautiful thing to say. I learnt that the real thing to have is a family that trusts you, no matter what you have done. It made me feel that saying the truth will always be better than telling lies. It’s your family that counts, the trust they have in you that counts. Lie never mattered and never will. I had their trust and from that day till now I have honoured that trust, always will.

This post has been written for 'The Kissan 100% Real Blogger Contest' on Indiblogger.in.

The wrong time to pickup something

Every morning I have to travel in buses to go to work and it’s packed in such a way that you ask yourself, ‘Am I travelling in a bus or Winrar’s edition of human compression factory??

It’s very difficult and one of the unsaid rules which you have to follow when you are in a bus is: Never touch a girl, even by mistake; else you are beaten to pulp. I thought the Monday morning of 12^th November would be a normal one, but this day would bring me something I’d remember for a long time in my life.

I got onto the bus and it was packed as ever, I was pushed and pushed and pushed from the back till I reached the girls section of the bus in the front. Among the girls many were students who were on their way to college. I was behind a girl and I saw her hair, it looked beautiful and smelled like dove shampoo. At least some good things happen in bad times I thought. I tried to back away but the bus was very full and I continued to smell her hair, involuntarily, its then when I saw it.

I saw that her bag was open and something fell out from it. I let my hand slide from the bar I was holding above my head to pick it up. As I bent down I dint notice that the pin in my watch got stuck to her dupatta and slid down with my hand and to everyone else in the bus it seemed like I was pulling the dupatta forcefully from this girl’s shoulder.

‘STOP! STOP! WHAT ARE YOUR DOING??!!’ She screamed.

I looked up and said ‘What?’, totally clueless and then I saw what had happened. I was about to explain when I saw the conductor rush forward towards me.

The bus was stopped and every eye on the bus was locked on me like hungry cheetahs waiting to tear my flesh apart.

My brain analyzing the situation saw that there was no hope for me now and said ‘Dude, goodbye it was nice living inside of your head’ and shut itself off. That’s what brain does right?, shuts itself off in these kind of situations, especially mine.

The yelling began: ‘Hey, hey hey..’ said the conductor ‘Was it you who stripped the dupatta of this girl’ he asked

‘Yes, it was me’ I said confidently. I was surprised at the confidence in my voice.

‘Oho ho look at the audacity of this guy..’ The conductor said ‘..does such a dirty thing as pulling a girl of her respect’ he said addressing to her dupatta ‘and admits it too. Come let’s beat him up’.

‘WAIT!!’ I yelled. ‘I admit I did it and I’ll do it again if I have to’ I said.

(I am a good guy, believe me....)

There was a collective haan running through the bus, like this was the most disgraceful thing that they have ever heard. But what could I do!! With my brain asleep I was saying what I felt was right, but it was coming out all wrong.

The conductor came forward and held my collar, extending his arm out, ready to turn my face into a pizza base, when I screamed ‘But do you know why I did it?’

He was surprised at the tone of my voice; instead of apologizing I was arguing my cause. ‘No, we don’t want to know, I just want to bash your skull, join me in brothers’ the conductor roared. I think he had a vengeance against his wife who always used to beat him up, and he was trying to take it out on me.

‘It’s because of this’ I said holding a piece of paper, displaying it like the declaration of independence. It obviously was because it would guarantee my freedom from these guys.

It was a hall ticket for an examination the girl had to attend that day. She came forward and checked it and said ‘Oh, thank you so much but why did you pull my dupatta?’

‘It was because of this’ I brought my other hand into view. A pin was sticking out of my watch.

‘when I bent down to pick your hall ticket, your dupatta got stuck to my watch pin and followed its stride down, making me seem like a… you know who’ I said embarrassed.

Everybody understood that I was innocent and I saw the girl smiling towards me and then giggling when she understood her mistake.

‘Hug her’ my brain coming back from its slumber said. Oh lord, my brain.

Everybody sat down and I went up to the conductor and said. ‘Next time when you try to beat a guy black and blue, listen to what he has to say first. Not everyone is a pervert’ I said firmly.

He lowered his eyes and went back. I sat beside the same girl listening to her talk, it was nonstop. I smiled at what could have been my half-murder for sure. ‘Thank you’ I said to the god above and smiled at the memory made.

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The wrong turn to the right side

I love Sunday morning, you can do what you want when you want; given that you can wake up on time. I was excited from the time I woke up because I’d be going out with my friend to watch a movie. We went on his bike finished watching the movie and I was riding back with him. We had made plans that we’d go to a friend’s place and surprise more friends with a party. We were riding shouting the movie’s dialogues at the peak of our voices when suddenly a traffic inspector called us to a stop. ‘Oh, shit’ we both said in unison.

‘Take out your license’ he said.

My friend took out his license, he showed all the other necessary documents required and I thought we’d get out without any fine. I thought wrong.

As it was Sunday and ‘business’ was going low for the poor policeman, he took a thorough inspection of our bike. The fact that we were caught screaming in a lonely looking street dint help our cause either. He completed his inspection and said, ‘Your tail light doesn’t work pay 500 rupees’ I saw the tail light that the inspector suggested and said to myself that tail light is cursed sir, that’s why.The reason for it was, no matter what you did, how much you changed the wiring, bulbs anything, it never worked.

We put out a united front and said ‘Why sir. It’s just a tail light why are you charging us with 500 rupees?’

‘Don’t speak too much, give me the money or else lets go to the police station, now’ he ordered.

I had had enough ‘Sir, it’s just a tail light, you can let us go with a warning, why do you want to take a bribe for it, that to 500 rupees?’ I said.

Taken aback for a second, he looked at me. I being a fat looking lean guy had no power in my arms. He weighed his odds that if a fight started, getting punched by me would be next to nil, so he came forward boring his eyes into me and asked me ‘You won’t pay?’

‘No, to hell with it. We dint break the law, I know our taillight doesn’t work but that doesn’t mean you ask us for a bribe’ I said.

‘The punk who has come yesterday to Bangalore will teach me what to do and what not..’ he said and raised his hand to hit me. Just then a jeep came from around the corner with a bunch of guys screaming “Free our nation from this curse, kill corruption in its base”

The jeep was a part of the rally being done in the name of Anna Hazare (bless you sir), and these guys were going to the main stadium where the meeting was to be held. I agree there wouldn’t be any praise for their poor rhyming skills but these guys would eventually save my life so listen.

I ran in front of the jeep and told them what the inspector was doing and how he was asking for money. They got down and started walking towards the Inspector with clear intentions that they were going to beat him down when I meddled in and said ‘Don’t hit him, let’s take him to the police station’.

He was reluctant, cursing and saying so many colorful words (which are not meant for younger viewers), when the guys thought they had had enough they pushed him into the jeep. Screaming his name along with the corruption slogans, they made the run to the nearest police station where they explained the whole situation to the inspector there.

Seeing so many people at once the inspector was scared for a second. He listened to both the sides and then led us out with a warning, booking a case against the inspector.

We came out of the station among a fleet of guys who thought corruption was killed that day by saving us. They started lifting us up as we were some sort of heroes and they pushed me up higher and higher. I was afraid, if I dint get kissed by the officer’s hand earlier, I’d surely be kissing the ground below if these guys pushed me any higher. But I saw their smiles and I understood that it was a win for both of us. I joined in with them and had a magnificent day ahead cursing the corrupt leaders of our nation and partying with them later. It was a good Sunday indeed; I saved my behind and saved my nation a little too. Hurray ;)

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest 'Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The brand new Bangalore kid – part 3

If you are thinking when did part 2 come out… well it will come out… but in the last post one of my fav bloggers suruchi *hugs and kisses her* ;) asked me to talk about a particular incident so I am writing about it now. This incident happened after the incidents which I wanted to reveal earlier, so now part 3…. Now put your finger on your lips (sexily ;)) and read :).

Life experience #43 : Getting thrown into a river(or was it a stream… anybody know the difference? ;)) …40ft deep and feeling awesome :D

To start with I have to tell you, I was always a kid who was his parents fav and they protected me more than how angry birds protected their eggs :P… it was always school and home, college and home. I dint mingle with frenz much and always used to be home more than outside. And I don’t blame them, my mom loves me a lot and she dint want anything to happen to me, so she always insisted to come back home early.

In all these I lost out on many moments. When my frenz used to call me to someplace suddenly, I was always skeptical. Should I go? Shouldn't i? What would mom think, I was such a momma’s boy! :P, anyways coming back to the issue, I never hung out much with frenz, I wanted to but just dint wanna upset my mom too.

But coming to Bangalore, WOW, as I have said I have done a ton of things, and one among them is being thrown into that river.

Arpit and suruchi get angry and say: ‘Ab story shuru kare gab hi, ya sirf back story bolta rahega?, we know u were kind of a wuss :P and u became bolder after coming to bang, start with the near death experience all ready!!’

Ok suruchi ok :P he he. I can imagine her smile and it looks beautiful, (I donno about arpit, coz I don’t imagine him like that ;). Still his smile is cute too, I’ve heard a couple of girls say , don’t ask who arpit :P, it’s a secret).

So back to the story, Chavan is a magician, I donno how is does it. One moment he is suffering with a 104 degree typhoid fever, next moment he is saying: ‘Pack your bags we are going to Goa’ :P… he is so eccentric and lively and I love that fact about him, this time though it was the trip to a nearby place called Dubare forest :) (its famous for elephants)

(Actual Dubare Images :))

Being in kodagu all my life, I still hadn’t visited a lot of places. So for Dussera he said he is going out with his frenz and asked me to come along. I was being lazy again, but he insisted and next thing I know I am in madikeri (my hometown :D) sleeping in the room chavan and his friend rented. Let me now introduce the 3 very interesting frenz of chavan(and mine too :D)

Chandan (this guy is the definition of cool)

Amit Vikram (He the funnest person I have known, when drunk :P)

Mr silent good hearted person (Actually I forgot his name :P, sorry yaar :P)

So all these guys including me and chavan were in madikeri. Chandan is a guy with multiple pluses. He is good with cracking jokes, can hold onto to his liquor like a rock, and knows to make awesome cocktails too. So that day in the room we all sat down and he started preparing cocktails for everyone. I looked at him in awe as he concocted a potion with… hold your horses… Mango ‘Slice’(yes the juice). Nimbooz :P, Teachers brandy, lil lime and Salt on the edges of the glass ;)

I donno what it’s called, but all the guys who drank it, loved it. What started as just one glass turned to 2, 3, almost 4. (They stopped because the salt ran out :P). I was seeing them enjoy and I really wanted to steal a glass and taste it, just dint, couldn’t,( maybe I will cross that barrier one day too :)). But as I saw them enjoy, the same feeling came as the last time. Happy, content, and free (without being drunk ;)) and I loved it.

Amit is THE guy when it comes to laugh. At one time I asked him ‘dude how do you laugh?’ He started and that was the end of it … ha ha ha my god, it was so funny … Its like a combination of Ravan+The joker of batman and its LOUD :d.. We laughed and laughed and Chavan was like, ‘Oh stop you’re gonna make me throw up :P’. Honestly at that moment I saw and felt what I had been missing all these years. Hanging around frenz is fun, drunk frenz is even more fun :P. I have never had so much fun as I had here IN MY LIFE and it was just getting started.

Night grew, we went out outside where everyone was enjoying the festival of dusshera by dancing in front of the temple idols. These guys danced like crazy, I wanted to join in but had the camera in my hand, so I went my back to the room and till I dumped and came back, I saw everyone was exhausted. Still it dint dampen our spirit to roam around in the night.

Actually the thing is, in Madikeri the night is awesome on Dusshera, because the whole city is lighted up and devotees build huge creations of god and demons to tell the story through mock models, which are huge, usually taking up almost 3 to 4 tractors. There are 10 temples who make these models and prizes are distributed for best 3, people finish up celebrating dussera in Mysore and leave to Madikeri for the night, it’s so popular.

We too wanted to see what each temple had done, but Amit vikram was so exhausted and dizzy from the dancing, that we saw him puking at the side of the road … and it was funny. The way he was swaying from side to side, the way he almost got his butt beaten by a cop, while he was sitting on the road, and even after puking multiple times was full of energy to roam the whole city :P.

It was FUN, just being there, it was so fun. Chavan looked at his condition and said ‘Lets go back we are in no position to roam the city with this heavy head feeling, and we’d probably get our asses whooped with Mr crazy Amit here acting as Kistu Mukherjee every 2 mins’. So we saw the intelligence in his decision and went back and crashed on our beds.

To be continued…

(I know you all are boo hoo, where is the real story you cunning fox :P… but the post has grown long, I’ll post the rest soon, till then I hope you had fun reading it. I will post soon promise, see I promised and came back right? ;), so I will be back soon :))

Till then. Take care. I love you all. Happy Diwali BTW :)

Love to each and every one of my reader, I love you all, hope you guys have a grand diwali, be safe and have tons of fun ok :). Love you

The Brand New Bangalore Kid

Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.

Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.

Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!

Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…

Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!

Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)

Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…

For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M: Hell Yeah :P)

The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..

EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh

Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…

EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?

Me: Have to write a blog post.

EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.

Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,

Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?

Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!

Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy

Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!

Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?

Me: yes man, I feel bad

Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…

Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Oh shit yaar, bathroom jaana padega!!! Kal likhta hoon

EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.

Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!

Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!

ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?

Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?

Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!

Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&

EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^

Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..

Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”

Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*

ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)

I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…

First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.

Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!

Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…

ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!

EVIL M: yeah rgt…. Anyways… please continue your gun gyaan :P

ME: I don’t need your approval..

EVIL M: !~!@$%!#%$^^^

Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!

EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha

Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…

EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha

ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….

EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…

Evil M: (eerie static sound…..)

Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…

Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!

ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..

Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)

So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)

EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P

(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P

They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…

I remember a joke from the night..

Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?

Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)

Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P

To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.

We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).

Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….

EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…

Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).

P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….

The Return

“(Lightning sound) Muhuhaha....Buhuhahaha..... (Lightning sound)

Bow to me...Bow...You....F.......Fa.....Fabulous ;) people.....I am back. *smiles*”

That was EVIL M making a dramatic entrance as always....Hey guys how have you been?...I was out of blogging for a long time, as you might have noticed(You have noticed haven't you?)

Well as I said, I had exams and many different things to do in the holidays (Which I had planned for months), and different things I did, just not which I had planned of...

So this post is the update about what I was upto all holidays....So let’s begin. :)

Well to start things off, let’s start with the bad news shall we...

1) I dint go the internship as said, I know many of you would be going as 'Awww why?' (Say yes at least this time yaar!) Well i'm assuming you asked why (With an awww of course ;))... well our dear chairperson in the department got changed and with that the whole regulation changed.

She said “You go that internship young boy, and you will get your ass whipped till it turns red, blue and god knows what color”

Well no, she dint really say that, she just gave some boring reply that I should go at the end of my 2^nd year because the rules have changed or something like that, so I just paraphrased her words(In my way of course) (God, i'm gonna be one hell of a journalist :P)

Anyhoo, (I learnt that from choco ;)) so I dint go, and I thought that was the only disappointment i'm gonna have this holidays, but no, there was another one.

2) I decided i'll go to my best friend chavan's room in banglore, I go there whenever I feel low (and whenever I can, for that matter ;)), because we 2 have so much fun, my mom even asked one time, “Thousif, You spend more time with chavan that coming here to your real home in coorg, I hope chavan hasn't adopted you already?”

I was so so excited(as you know he has 24 hours Internet, a karaoke machine, 108inch LCD TV, no rules whatsoever), I wanted to give him a surprise by going to him unannounced, but something clicked in me

(EVIL M: It was me!!)

Yeah and so I sent him a message on the eve of going, saying 'i'm coming tomorrow', and he replied by saying, “Don't come, I changing my room this month”, putting another end to my well planned plan.

I was sad, I hopped onto my bed, rested my head on my pillow drank a cold beer, ate some wafers, and looked up to the sky, and asked god “Why god, why, why did you ruin my plans?”

(Lightning sound)

Suddenly everything went dark and I closed my eyes, after sometime I opened them, when a divine voice said to me “Get the hell up, it 11'o lock in the morning you ass”, That was SAM, my cousin bro, I woke up from my bed and was all sad, he asked me and I said the reason.

He looked at me resting his hands on my shoulders and said “Life happens when you are busy making plans”, I was amazed, my dumb bro, giving me knowledge(stolen of course ;)), I have got to be dreaming but my other bro FAR hit me with a tennis ball in my family jewels proving me, I was(painfully)awake.

And so I thought, I thought about SAM's stolen thought, and decided i'll not make plans,i'll just enjoy what comes along in my life, so now comes the happy news...Be prepared :)

1) As I couldn't go to chavan's home I decided i'll go to my own home, mom had been asking me for ages to come home, and I had just gone twice in a year, reason for it was mostly because, mom and visited me once a month.

And as I thought, I realized I was just wasting holidays in my aunt's home, why not go home! what have I got to lose.

But I did lose, I lost the loneliness which I was suffering from due to a break up(which happened when my exams were going on, so god knows how i'll fare in the exams) I came home, I mean really home, sitting beside mom watching all those hindi serials, (which are as long as the wall of china). Ah bliss ;)

I got so addicted to those serials; i'm watching them now, daily. See going home changes ya ;), but it was not the serials, it was the joy in my parents eyes which held me, mom wanted to make me all the special dishes she is renowned for(She makes the awesomest kheer, and biryani) but I couldn't enjoy that too, because of the acidity problem I was having. But beside all that, it was the love I felt, there were more rules than my aunt's house, like bath daily, get up early, Cut your nails(What am I? A baby), but as I said the biggest perk of all was being there to see mom and dad every morning smiling towards me.

Every morning I used to have the dreamiest of breakfast I have only dreamed of in my aunt's home, every morning it was a pleasure to wake up to, uh I loved it, and then while I was living the dream, another awesome thing happened by which I had to get back to Mysore (Enter a high pitched shriek here)

2)

I became a Chachu. Again ;)

Yes, my bhaiya and bhabi gave birth to a son, just kidding, well actually it was just my bhabi :P.

EHAN .The proud new addition to our family, you gotta see him, ah he is so cute. You know I dint like kids very much, in fact until I came to Mysore I had never held a baby, because of the fear that I would drop them. And with Ehan it was even more(I still haven't picked him up yet) but honestly, when I touched him, it was the warmest of feeling ever, The color of his cheeks, the innocence his eyes, the way he smiles, Oh, I loved him then and there.

Every day I look at him, it makes me fell so good. I imagine this was how I looked when I was born, this was how my mom and dad took care of me, the crying, the sleepless nights, the love which I got from my parents, i'm witnessing all that. And I feel so much more love for my parents, they were there when I was born, and are still there while i'm pursuing my dreams, I feel so blessed, and i'm so happy for everything god has given to me.*Cries uncontrollably*

Enter EVIL M.

Stop crying like a baby, thousif cries whenever he is emotional, let him enjoy his girly moment for a while. So let’s carry on the good news shall we, what did you think, that was it.... Nope there is still another one.

Well this one actually started before the holidays, during his exams. Thousif met a girl, well actually no, he hasn't met her after they have got to know each other, but its coming soon.

*Blows nose* Ok i'm back, hope EVIL M wasn't much trouble, so as he said, I've met someone. Before I start the 'goon gaan' about her, lemme just tell you some thing.

I'm assuming you've all seen Salaam-Namaste, so in that the heroine Priety zinta is frenz with Jugal hansraj in her college. Who have this awesome friendship between them (If you don't remember anything, go watch the movie again you IDIOT, no that’s became a nice word of late, lemme rephrase that, You STUPID), if you don't remember, here is a recent observation

I hope to god you've seen Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, you have Na? ok in that film there is this friendship between jaggu (The weird hair styles guy) and Aditi's friend who is a girl (Not boms)(I forgot her name :P :P) who have this awesome friendship between them

So I hope you've remembered

(EVIL M: I have a headache, would you get to the point already?)

Point ok here it is, from my childhood I....

(EVIL M: Childhood, really?? from childhood!!, you hated girls till your 1oth standard remember...)

Ok not from childhood then, from my Pre university college days....

(EVIL M: Better....)

Ok from those days I wanted a to befriend a girl, who would be cool, with whom I could be me, With whom I would not pretend about things, with whom I could talk anything, anything.. With whom...

(EVIL M: Oh god, we get it, enough with the “with whom's” already, continue would ya...)

So as I was saying, a girl who would not pretend, with who you can have an actual conversation with, a friend who would be there when you are in trouble, a friend who would give you some real advice in difficult situations, whether its for buying sneakers or knickers for that matter :P.

A girl who would be just like Preity in salaam namaste, and that 'other girl' in Jaane tu....

(EVIL M: Kill me god, please kill me...)

Oh k, getting to the point, I have found the perfect friend, a girl with whom, you can talk anything, with whom you can crack the lousiest joke and she would still smile (Just to see you smile), a friend who you can rest assured, will be there when trouble strikes. (I'm talking about all sorts, girl advice, style advice, or any advice for that matter ;))

I have always been the guy who values friendships because of the comfort they provide to you, because they give the meaning towards one's life, and with her I found another beautiful meaning of what friendship is all about. Her name is Shruti (I call her pihu :)).

Pihu is the most good hearted person i've met till now, but she has a killer anger (So, i've been warned ;)) When I first looked at her, I knew she was nice person, but when I got to know her, I really got to know, how sweet and nice she really is. She is the person I can’t count upon any day and i'm proud to say, that she joins the elite club of my best frenz. *hugz*

P.S to pihu.

Pihu here is the magnificent, majestic, maggi....no.... magical (and virtual: P) crown of my friendship which I gift to you :) You are officially my best friend now...*Cries uncontrollably*

Enter EVIL M

I.am.sick.of.that.guy, even a girl wouldn't cry that much. Right girls? So would any of you girls wanna adopt me....as your boyfriend* (wink)

*(Offer open only for beautiful girls ;))

I'm back... so that’s that guys, I had a holiday like i've never had before, and found many things, which i'm really proud of and happy for..... hope you have a guys awesome week ahead... :)

Take care, love you all :)

The motion act

The post that you are about to read is extremely stinky, airy, and god knows what... so beware... you were WARNED. but if you do dare, you are gonna die laughing ;)... your choice ;)

“Ah....” I opened my mouth aloud as I got up from my afternoon nap... I felt something going around in my stomach. It felt like a train chugging along a mountain path, and I instantly knew I was in trouble. I ran to the bathroom

Drrr......Brrrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH..........

Me singing in a satisfied(Read:Very bad) tone “I feel good...., I knew that I would now. I feeeeeel..... bad”

Run... Run...Run.....

Drrr.....Brrrr......*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH................

Singing again “I feel good.... I knew that I........Oi”

Run.....Run....Run

Drrr.......Brrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH.................

In a sad tone “I feel.... empty”

“Uh.....i think something is wrong with my stomach” I said

“You think” replied EVIL M imitating in Hannah Montana's voice

“I told you, not to eat that thela wala Gobi Manchurian... now suffer you dimwit” said EVIL M

“But my frenz said it was good, and so I thought you were tricking me, because I deleted those Megan Fox pics from the computer”

“I'm still angry for that, and looking at you right now, kinda makes me happy” said EVIL M “but, kinda sad too, because if you continue like this, I wont be able to relish the taste of all those pizzas and chats you eat” he paused to think “and something else that is very important... which I'm forgetting...”

“Girls...” I reminded him.

“Correction...hitting on girls” he said and smiled, “so get ready now, lets go the doctor and get you fixed.”

So I got ready, my god it was like a herculean task. I was completely unsure of my stomach, it was like a time bomb, which could explode any moment.

I was sweating(like every time ;))

“Oh for god's sake, we are not going to kargil war, stop sweating you pig” screamed EVIL M

Ignoring him as always, I got ready and reached the doctor, after examination he said “I think its loose motions” he said with a sad face

“You think?” shouted EVIL M, “What kind of a doctor have you brought yourself to thousif? saala, meri yaha phat rahi hai, and dukh isko ho raha hai....”

I shushed M, getting a weird look from the doctor. I looked at the doctor and asked him

“Whats do you mean by 'I think' doctor?”

“You have severe gastric problem, and your body heat is more than normal, so I'm pretty sure that's what triggering your bowels in the wrong way” he answered.

I then thought of mom who would always say to me to eat at proper time and me being the typical teenager never would. I silently moved down from the examination table holding my stomach like a pregnant woman.

“Slowly lady, you might trip...Tumhare pao bhari hain beti, Sambhalke...” EVIL M sniggered

The doctor prescribed some medicine and then laid out my food plan for the next 3 days...and when I listened to him about what I would eat ....I fainted.

“CURD RICE, Three times a day” he said waking me up.

“Nooooooooo....I wanna strangle the doctor.... let me.. let me” cried EVIL M from my head mentally lunging towards the doctor.

I mentally held him back and said

“But doc...”

“No buts, if you wanna be all right. This is what you will eat, with ORS”(Oral rehydration Something :P) he said with a commanding look.

“Nooooooooo....I wanna strangle the doctor.... let me.. let me” cried EVIL M again from my head mentally lunging towards the doctor. Again

I again held him back, and said “Behave yourself”

“What...Did I do something wrong?” the doctor said bewildered.

I waved my hands saying nothing, paid him and then quickly reached home...

I reached home and crashed onto the couch, 2 hours passed by and thankfully, the bathroom dance dint happen

“I think we scared it away when we went to the doctor, I am so smart aint I” said EVIL M

“Yeah, very...” I said

Just then my stomach howled like the were wolf, who desperately wanted to meet his partner.

Run, Run, Run

Drrr......Brrrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH

“Ah.... ahhhh.... my stomach feels like a burst out drum” I said

“Muhahahaha” laughed EVIL M “I'm so enjoying looking at you right now, but its hurting me too, drink some water” he advised

And I drank.... glass pe glass, glass pe glass, and just like Mc dowels wine AD, my bhabi would say “Ek aur ho jaye”

I somehow managed through the evening, When my bhabi came to my room and called me for dinner

I saw my plate, Rice soaked with curds. “Is that what I think it is?” asked EVIL M startled

I nodded, “My god, I didn't knew you would actually put me through this” said EVIL M

“Put you through this. What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I screamed,

“Even though its you who eats, I am the one who has to experience the taste, Why god oh why?” wailed EVIL M.

I put a spoonful of rice into my mouth, it had a (very)sour taste, nothing else... I munched the rice, still no taste... I put in another spoonful, it was more sour than the last one.

“Oh god, someone please give me some poison, at least that would have some tangy taste, I wanna throw up” said EVIL M.

“Oh please stop over acting, its not as bad you assume, and if we have to eat all those chats and pizzas, we have to brave through this, so help me out and think of the most delicious food you can think of, so we can gulp this down” I said and pointed towards the rice.

EVIL M smiled and thought of every tasty food imaginable and the rice was in my stomach in no time, the night passed by without any more encounters, but still the tiger in my stomach was far from tamed.

It growled through the night, and I woke up the next morning half asleep along with fuzzed up hair.

“Ahhhhhhhhh” my bhabi and bhaiya screamed together looking at me early in the morning.

I covered my ears and said “Not, so loud jeez..”

“Thousif, listen to me, you are going to cut that hair first thing today, or else I am gonna cut it myself” my bhaiya barked “and believe me its not gonna be a pretty sight”

I bathed my hair and made it 'look nice', looking at it, my bhabi started joking..

“It looks like a cuckoo's nest”

“Cuckoo doesn't build a nest” I snapped

“Why should it?, when you are building one on your head” she giggled running a hand through my 'nest'

I was getting frustrated. My stomach acting like a hibernating bear at one side, and my hair looking like an abandoned forest on the other. While EVIL M was acting like a school kid who is forbidden from sugar.

All this was driving my nuts. So I finally took matters into my own hands. Which proved as always....Brilliant :)

I finished college then went to my regular barber, and got to know that he was out of town, so I went to the one beside him.

He was a old guy with trembling fingers, so I thought, the only safe hair cut would be a military cut, with a little spiky hair in the front.

I got the same, and was satisfied with the result, not because of the haircut, but because my ears had survived the 'cut'.

I came home had a bath, heard some growling in my stomach, so in the evening, ate the curd rice(again) hearing to the wails of EVIL M(again).

Finishing the dinner and Drinking the only drink I was allowed to. The ORS. The slimy sweet, salty liquid. I put the crying EVIL M and myself to sleep.

At 12.30 in the night I woke up hearing a roaring sound, I looked out at the window, and saw there was no thunderstorm. I was surprised and was thinking where had the sound came from.

I couldn't think half asleep, so I as I was about to go back to sleep. I heard the sound again and came to know it was own stomach.

I powered up my computer and started listening to some (very)sad songs. Half an hour later, I found out my stomach had fallen asleep, so I put off the computer and went to sleep.

I woke up in the morning feeling a little better, and for break fast. I had the rice again. I then asked bhabi “Whats for lunch?”

“Do you want me to answer that?” she asked with a mischievous look in her eyes

I brushed past her and then went to college.

Finishing college, I came back around 3. I went into the kitchen to pour myself some curds, when I smelled a fragrance so rich in taste, that the flood gates in my mouth broke open along with EVIL M, who woke up with a start(he was sleeping the whole day, even in class)

“Whatever it is eat it, I don't care, eat it” he cried

I saw that bhabi had made biryani for lunch, I looked at it. And my eyes were all gold.

Just like a lion sees its juicy prey before a kill, I saw the biryani devouring it with my eyes.

My bhabi came in and said smiling “Stop staring, you dirty boy"

Pulling my eyes out of the biryani, I walked towards my room, sad, when my bhabi called me back and said “howz your stomach now?”

“The tiger is not tamed yet” I said

She smiled “Then have some biryani itself na, maybe that will help. Reverse psychology” she said and brought me half a plate of biryani.

After 3 days of eating just curd rice, and now looking at the heavenly smelling dish, I couldn't take my fingers of it. I finished it in 5 minutes, and was already asking for more.

“Not so soon, its enough for now, have a little more at dinner” she advised

I agreed halfheartedly. And looked at my stomach. It was as quiet as a baby sleeping in the night wearing pampers. The tiger had been tamed.

Night came and I ate some more biryani, and then in the morning I was fit as a fiddle. I was laughing, smiling, dancing and crying, and wonder of wonders this time it was not me. It was EVIL M.

“We braved it, we braved it, we won the war against our enemy” said EVIL M with tear filled eyes

“Yes we did buddy, we won” I said smiling back to him...

The next morning

Drrr...Brrr.....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH

My bhabi came out of the bathroom looking just like me(the 3 days before wala me ;)) and said “I think something is wrong with my stomach”

I and EVIL M looked at her smiling the most wicked smile ever and said “you will be all right in no time bhabi, no time” we smiled again and said “We will help you through it”

“Nooooooooo” she screamed and what happened next was.... ha ha... ha ha.... “Muhahahaha” ;) I guess you know... :)

Have an awesome week ahead guys. :) take care. And thank you so much for reading completely (If you read completely ;)) Love you all :).