A promise kept through time

Childhood is a great experience. While you’re growing up you will never know how cool and awesome it is. You will know it only when you’re hurrying off to work and sit down in your office seat, dripping sweat from your forehead, that it was one of the best phases of your life.

The same thing happened with me as I was pushed back into one of the proudest moments of my life, when someone asked me “Do you smoke?”

My mom was getting me ready to send me off to school. I was 13 and It was my first day of high school. My mom was fixing my tie as I saw my dad enter through his shop. We had a shop that led directly into our home. I saw my dad was smoking. He picked something heavy with both of his hands and was balancing a cigarette on one of his lips at the same time.

I heard my mom say… “Now you are big boy Thousif. There will be ‘friends’ who will teach you things that are not good.”

“Hmm..” I murmured as I continued seeing my dad do the balancing act and go into the shop. My eyes followed him the whole time.

My mom continued “You should be aware that, there are bad things that you should not try.”

“Like what?” I asked.

My dad entered to pick something again. My mom looked towards my dad, “Like smoking” she said

My dad turned around. He was in one of his moods, but I could see a sort of helplessness in his eyes which said ‘I am addicted to this son and I can’t help it’.

“So I shouldn’t smoke if my friends ask me to, is that what you’re saying?” I asked

“Yes” she replied “Smoking is a very bad habit, it ruins your lungs, health and most importantly your life” she said curtly, looking at my dad.

I innocently turned my eyes towards my dad, “but why shouldn’t I mom?...” I said “Dad smokes!

My mother was surprised at my retort. “Well…” she said “I have no answer for that”. She looked at my father “Why don’t you ask your dad if he has one?” she said, smiling an oh-you-are-in-trouble-now-daddy smile.

My dad just stood there, stunned by what I had said. The cigarette he was balancing on his lips fell to the ground. He quickly stomped on it. He looked at me and calmly came towards me.

‘Oh man. I am gonna get spanked’ I thought. I saw my dad come near me and sit on his knees. He looked into my hands, held my hands and asked me “If I stop smoking from tomorrow, will you promise me that you will never smoke in your entire life?”

From the time that I had seen my dad as a child, he had been a chain smoker. Having his own shop was an added incentive to his habit. He would smoke up to 3 packets of cigarettes a day. One after the other, one after the other; It never stopped.

All the while I had watched him, I wanted get rid of his habit. My mom always used to show me pics about what horrible things smoking cigarettes could lead to, and say “Stay away from cigarettes”. And whenever I saw them, I wanted to make my dad stop smoking cigarettes. ‘If I could just get him to quit’ I used to think, ‘If i could just…’, and lo here was the chance.

I met his eyes and said “No dad. If you stop smoking from tomorrow, I will never smoke in my entire life.”

My dad looked into my eyes, ruffled my hair and said “Ok, why tomorrow! I am quitting cigarettes right now!”

I turned towards my mom and saw the look in her eyes. It was like I had done the impossible. She had asked my dad to quit many times, but he hadn’t. It’s not like he hadn’t tried. He’d quit for a couple of months and then start up again. You can exactly blame him. He had the poison right in front of him every day, and he just had to smoke.

I saw my dad after that day. He struggled. The initial days when you quit smoking after having smoked for like 20 years is never-wracking. It’s not like doing drugs, but its close. I saw him every day and he never put another cigarette on his lips.

As I was growing up, I had many instances where my friends forced me to smoke. Seeing that I had a shop which sold cigarettes, they all wanted me to start smoking and be their supplier. But I didn’t.

It was tough. Every day I used to be around cigarettes, and seeing my friends smoke and say it was amazing to smoke, I wanted to try too. I was made fun of, bullied and made to feel that I was missing out on something great. Some days I was so frustrated that I used to take a cigarette and keep it on my lips and suck the air through the cigarette, just the air. I wanted to see what the fuss was all about; but I never lit one and smoked.

As I grew up, each time a ‘friend’ asked me “Do you smoke?” it used to remind me of that time, and that promise my dad made and kept.

It has been 13 years since my dad quit smoking and each time anyone asks me the question, I say “No. Never have, never will”.

Every time a conversation about smoking comes my way, I am reminded of that promise. I say to myself. “My dad left smoking cigarettes for me. He could have said I won’t stop, but he did. He kept a promise made to his son, and I will keep the promise I made to my dad”.

It has been 13 years and both of us haven’t smoked a cigarette. I could say it is because of that promise, but what I see is love. Our love and respect for each other has made us stray away from a dangerous habit.

I see my dad now and feel proud. My dad sees me and he feels proud. That moment in my childhood was 100% real. It taught me that parents can do anything for a child and if children try, they can do anything for their parents. It might be a small thing, but for me it means a lot. It made me see my dad as a entirely new person. It made us a family; a loving, caring and 100% real family.

This post has been written for 'The Kissan 100% Real Blogger Contest' on Indiblogger.in.

Disclaimer: The images have been taken from Google and Imagesbazaar.com. I do not own any of these photos.

The truth

One of the values kids are taught at a young age is to tell the truth. The same was with my family. My mom was very strict about me and my sister telling truth. She used to say, “No matter what you have done, always tell the truth. It is much easier and it’s always, always the better option.”

In my childhood I was naughty kid. I used to get into trouble every day. As I started growing up, it continued, but the naughty turned into something else when I saw kids at my school wear new clothes, buy new things.

Every time I used to see my friend buy new things I wanted it. It wasn’t like I was obsessed about it, but I wanted it. What I dint know at that time is that there was one thing that would grow into an obsession.

It was the year 2000 and computer games had just made its way into my small hometown of Coorg, Madikeri. Everybody was playing. Kids, adults, you name it they were playing it. I so, so, so wanted to play them as everyone in our school was describing how amazing it was.

I had just passed out my junior high and entered my high school. My dad had given me 20 bucks on passing the exams. I took the money and ran to the cyber café to play the games with my friends.

I dint know squat about computer games. My friends cheated and played with my money for 2 hours, leaving me bitterly angry and unsatisfied. I said to myself, ‘I will play games all by myself without anybody’s help’, and that’s what I exactly did. The feeling I used to get when I played the games was amazing. Just like the feeling I used to get when i drank juice made from Kissan squashes; 100% real and amazing.

I was addicted and spent all the money I had on the computer games. Times were not as expensive as it is now. I used to get 5 bucks every week as pocket money, lesser sometimes. As we had our own shop, every time I used to ask my dad for more money, he used to say “When you have everything here, what do you need money for? If you want something I will buy it for you.”

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to play computer games and that was it. My dad wasn’t so rich that he’d buy me a computer, so I thought of a plan. Every time I was home after school my dad used to make me sit in the shop and go for a coffee break for 10 minutes. I hated sitting at the shop, but I did it anyway because I wanted my dad to rest.

One day as I was sitting, minding the shop, my eyes fell on the cash register. I saw the money my dad had made the whole day. There were a couple of 20’s, 50’s and a lot of 10’s. I saw how my friends looked at me when I played the games. I was good, not just good, I was goooood. We competed in car races and I always own. I wanted to maintain that winning streak and so I took two 10 rupee notes from the register.

As soon as I had the money in my hand I started panicking. I thought, ‘Will I get caught?’, ‘What if dad comes to know about the missing money?’, ‘What would happen if I get caught?’ A hundred questions crossed my mind. I was sweating and put the money back. I saw my dad come in. He saw me, smiled and said to go play outside. I went.

The thought never left me. My mind said ‘You could have just taken the money and left, dad wouldn’t know!’ I said to myself ‘No I can’t do it. It would be stealing and then if he asks me, I’d have to lie. I don’t wanna do that.’ There was no voice for some time, but as the evening progressed the thought never left my mind.

I met my friends next week and as I hadn’t played the games for a week, I was sloppy. I lost all games and I was angry at myself. I said to myself “Enough is enough, I am a winner and that’s what I will be.”

I went to my dad and said “I want money to play computer games!”

He said “You play a lot of games thousif; no you can’t have more money. Your grades will go down, sit and study rather than playing games".

I was pissed. I was so pissed that I when my dad went for his break that day, I took two 20 rupees notes without a guilty conscience. I went and played games without a worry in the world.

My dad didn’t suspect a thing, so I started taking money every day. What started with 40 bucks soon grew 50, 60 and more. Whatever I dint spend on the computer games I used to save up.

After 3 years I had collected a lot of money. Yes, 3 years; 3 freaking years. I would have continued if it wasn’t for my sister.

One of the saddest things in my life was my sister’s death. That event led to everyone in our house become zombies for weeks. I used to fight with my sister a lot and when she passed away I blamed myself for not asking sorry. Remembering her I used to cry on my mother’s shoulder and howl with pain, asking my sister to forgive me. It was normal childhood fights, but the pain of not getting to ask sorry was real and hurt every day.

As I was crying one day, I remembered what I had been doing for the past 3 years. I felt ashamed and I wanted to say it to my parents. But my ego dint let me. I was very afraid thinking what my dad would say, but the guilt was eating me out. I stopped taking the money, but I had the money I had saved. I may have had like 10,000 bucks with me. I wanted to put it all back, but my dad would ask ‘Where did all the money come from?’ and I would have no answer.

I wanted to say the truth and now I couldn’t. I was in agony. I felt like I was on fire, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

One day I fought with my mom. It was a bitter fight. She was crying and I was still angry. Suddenly I saw the picture of my sister on the table and I felt pain. I thought how I used to fight with her and now I had done the same with my mother. An inner voice told me ‘See thousif, you can’t ask sorry for the bad times you had with your sister, but you can set things right by asking sorry with your mother and telling her the truth’

I remembered what my mom used to say ‘Say the truth, no matter what.’ I went to where my mom was silently sobbing. I saw her, went near her, held her hand and let her to my bedroom. I sat down and said “I am really sorry mom” She stopped crying and saw me. I said how sorry I was for being such an arrogant child, and that I was sorry for all the bad things I had done in my life. She said that I wasn’t a bad kid, only a little stubborn sometimes but that was ok. I dint listen to her. I had taken a decision and I would abide to it.

I started talking about my sister and said how sorry I was for fighting with her and how sorry I was for fighting with my mom. I started crying, i was hysterical, like I couldn’t stop myself. It was 10 in the night and listening to my crying my dad silently came from the shop and stood near the door. I started crying, asking sorry and cried some more. My dad came near me and seeing him I just broke down. I wanted to confess and finally I thought it was now or never and I did it.

I said how I had started taking money and how I spent it on computer games and how I had saved some of it. I took a long time to confess and when I had finally finished my dad said only one thing “I knew.”

I looked at him and he hugged me and said “I knew about it, but I wanted you to stop it by yourself.” “You took a long time to stop, saved up a lot of money, but you did it.” he said smiling. I blurted out a laugh and looked at my mom. She came forward and hugged me and said smilingly “I knew too” I looked at her and tears flowed again. “Don’t cry” she said “I know you lied to us, but you taking initiating and confessing you did something wrong and admitting it is a huge thing.” I heard her say this and cried some more.

“Stop crying my child” my mother said hugging me tighter “You took a big step and see now we know you will never do it” she added.

I looked into her eyes and knew that I had cleansed my sins through the tears I cried. My parents rather than being angry were happy that I had realised my mistake. Both my parents got up from my bed and my dad took my chin into his hands and said smilingly “If you ever need money just ask thousif, everything me and your mother earn is for you itself. It always has been.”

That moment was real for me. More real than anything I had experienced in my life, ever. I learnt that whatever happens in life my parents will always be there for me. It made me feel so good to tell the truth. It made me and my parents grow stronger as a family and since then I haven’t taken a single rupee without asking.

That day I learnt that truth no matter how hurtful it is, is always a beautiful thing to say. I learnt that the real thing to have is a family that trusts you, no matter what you have done. It made me feel that saying the truth will always be better than telling lies. It’s your family that counts, the trust they have in you that counts. Lie never mattered and never will. I had their trust and from that day till now I have honoured that trust, always will.

This post has been written for 'The Kissan 100% Real Blogger Contest' on Indiblogger.in.

The Brand New Bangalore Kid

Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.

Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.

Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!

Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…

Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!

Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)

Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…

For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M: Hell Yeah :P)

The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..

EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh

Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…

EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?

Me: Have to write a blog post.

EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.

Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,

Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?

Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!

Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy

Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!

Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?

Me: yes man, I feel bad

Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…

Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Oh shit yaar, bathroom jaana padega!!! Kal likhta hoon

EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.

Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!

Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!

ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?

Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?

Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!

Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&

EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^

Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..

Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”

Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*

ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)

I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…

First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.

Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!

Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…

ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!

EVIL M: yeah rgt…. Anyways… please continue your gun gyaan :P

ME: I don’t need your approval..

EVIL M: !~!@$%!#%$^^^

Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!

EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha

Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…

EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha

ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….

EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…

Evil M: (eerie static sound…..)

Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…

Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!

ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..

Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)

So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)

EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P

(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P

They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…

I remember a joke from the night..

Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?

Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)

Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P

To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.

We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).

Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….

EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…

Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).

P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….

a thing called beauty

The beauty of this world starts from the first moment the sun wakes up in the morning. Flowers bloom inviting the day to live for its fullest glory. Birds sing along in hope and enthusiasm getting ready for a new and exciting adventure. And every person in this planet wakes up thinking… ‘Oh hell I’m late again’..

Human, is a very intriguing species. I can say that with full confidence, because I am a human myself. (Most would doubt that fact seeing my wired antics like a monkey everyday ;))

Considering all the other species, human is the most complex being of all, and yet is the most beautiful creation of god. If I sit down to point out how human is the most beautiful creation, it’ll be another year till I finish, so I’ll only say the very important ones. Starting with… Birth.

The beauty of life starts with the first day we come into this world. Even though we are crying while we arrive, that day everyone is smiling, because that is the day everyone in that delivery room believes that world is not such a bad place after all. Looking into the baby’s eyes, everyone believes that, life is beautiful. That day there is so much of joy and happiness, that one would want nothing else, nothing at all. Beauty starts that day, that moment, because as we arrive, we bring that joy, happiness, hope, delight and pleasure into everyone's lives around us.

Love.

As we grow we learn many things, our first steps, first words, first naughty tricks and as we grow, we tend to learn one very special thing. We learn to love.

Starting with the first things we learnt, to the first person we saw (not the doctor who delivered us :P), we learn to love each deed and each person whom we spend our time with. As a child we don’t even know what love is, but still we love a lot of things.

This course of love takes us through a sea of emotions throughout our lives. From the first steps to school, to the first time we bunk it. From the first time we break a rule to the first time we admit it.

Love is such a strong force that it makes a human who is. Starting with our parents to that first special someone we feel for. Love has a beauty of its own.

It makes us believe, it teaches us to trust, it shows us how beautiful life can be and shows us, that no other force in the world can compete to this, love would suffice. Love is enough.

Some would argue when I say every single thing we do is for love, like even brushing your teeth or taking a bath. But honestly every human does some or the other thing for love, just for love. That is the power of love. That is the beauty of love.

Death

One of the things almost every human goes through in his life is seeing death, some way or the other everyone is affected by it. Couple of months ago our hearts went out for japan when it was struck by a tsunami, even people who weren’t affected by it were concerned and prayed for the country and its people, that no one loses their dear ones. That is how death connects every human on this planet.

Death as everyone says may bring horror and fear into someone’s life, but I would say it also gives us strength and power so that we learn how to live our life without that person. I can say that personally because I have been through my sister’s death.

We used to fight every day and get on each other’s nerves. My mother was fed up of stopping our fights, but still every day I used to share whatever happened in my life with her, and she did the same. We were like best frenz, and I remember her smile and the sparkle in her eyes, when she read a blog post I had written mentioning how special she is to me just 18 days before her death.

I remember that moment when I first got to know that she was no more, it was horrible. I cried like I had never cried before, I wanted to say so many things, apologize for all the faults and fights, but I couldn’t. Days after it, I and my parents lived like zombies; it was like somebody had hit a mute button on all our lives. But as days moved on, we learnt to smile remembering her memories, laugh remembering her antics with fixing her hair every morning, and that is how we grew strong as a family.

Death may seem like the greatest enemy of all time, and honestly it is, but death also makes us stronger, makes us trust more, gives us strength and teaches us to love our dear ones as much as we can, more than we can.

Death too has a beauty of its own, it is the most painful experience one has to go through, but still it teaches us, that we are stronger than what we believe ourselves to be, that bringing back that one smile on your parents face can be the most rejuvenating and satisfying experience ever. That it’s not death who conquers us, we conquer death, by learning to smile again, to be happy again and keep that person alive with our memories, and creating new ones as we live along.

Personally for me if I have to explain beauty, its life itself. Just living your life is the most incredible experience ever. The beauty of life is life itself, because it is journey like none other. We learn from every step we take and every decision we make, may it be good or bad. We live life.

Life is best lived within the moment, that is what i learnt after my sister's death. if i was sad all the time, i wouldn't have found the courage and strength to make my parents smile, and make them feel better and assure that i am there for them.

So all i wanna say is if you are happy, smile and laugh as much as you want. If you are sad, cry and wail to your heart’s content, because tomorrow is a new day. And that new day brings back that view of fresh blooming flowers, birds singing to wake you up with their sweet voices and your daily screams of… ‘Oh hell, I’m late again’ ;)…

This is my first submission for a competition at indiblogger... i couldn't have been more happier... thank you Indiblogger and Yahoo for giving me this chance to express my views thank you :)

The return of the return of (the return :P)

So so so i'm not dead :P... ok you have heard that before, but still (guess it should be my daily status update :P) any hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

OK got a lil bit of tarzan into me :P so anyways... i'm ALIVE.... hurray :D

besides a couple of very low sounding yeah yeah's and under the cough swearing of 'oh shit' :P...i'll shamelessly continue!!

The year is coming to an end so there are a lot of memories to be shared

From the time i flew a plane(a real one), to a place where i lost like 10 competitions in 2 days but gained tremendous self confidence. From a place where i thought i'll somehow get up at 6 in the morning to a place where i slept at 2 every night(yeah it was the same day i made the resolution that i'll get up at 6 :P) Everything!!.... is to be shared.... but till that time (yes i'll be back again!! yes, this month itself. God u guys ask so many questions :P)

Here is something i wrote,so that u remember me by and appreciate the love we have in our lives :) enjoy..

EVIL M: Shut up and write quickly would ya... hey guys hi:) *wink, wink* that winks are only for the hot girls out there OK... gay boys... shoo shoo :P

Words are the only thing i can give to you my darling

Because they whisper a small volume of the valley of love, i have inside

Many feelings in my heart i feel

but words seem like a disgrace, to describe their true appeal

The feel of which i speak to you

is not just in my heart, its in my soul

because its yearns for and finds true love, in only.... your's

Its not just what we have in our hearts that makes us...We

Its who We are and what We have become

From the timeless eternity love has proved its place among us

And made everyone believe

That no matter what you are or who you might become

any day, and i mean any day, love..... will give you that strength

Even in the weakest times in your body, or

in the hardest of times in your lives

Love will always make you strong

and make you believe.

That love wasn't born out of life.

It was life, that was and always will be born out of

......Love

Till next time its me Thousif Raza, (and EVIL M ;), wassup girls!!!! ;)) singing off... have a blessed christmas :)... and no new year wishes cause i'll be back till then ;)

.....And if you wanna give me gifts, well send me a email, my account number is a big 16digit code ;)and CANNOT be leaked out so... jaldi say send me those emails ;)

Take care everyone...cya soon love you all..XOXO . Christmas hugs :) XOXO take care :) :) :)

Hiya world

So everybody's missing me which is so great to hear.... awesome... :D :D .... I was extremely busy this last month (work busy... not lazy busy :P) I was covering a international conference... got noted for my work...other things... taking bath for once... so you know. i was busy

But looking at you all miss me like this makes me all emotional... thank you so much guys for your constant support :) and sorry i haven't been around, i'll be ther as soon as i can.

I just wrote this couple of nights back... so I’ll be sharing it with you. I’ll be coming back soon, within a week, till then I hope you like it...

The Walk of life

No truth, no lie

On this path of nothingness I stand

Trying to prove what I want

Hundred paths leading to the same way

The only way where I want to be

Each one a mystery than the other

Everything what I believe in at stake

Every step I take. Careful

Will i meet my destiny as i've thought

Or will destiny itself pave new roads for me

The path of nothingness

Leading to everything lays ahead of me

Looking forward Unperturbed and unfollowed

I Walk

Here's another one...i wrote this one just last night...

Tell me i love you with so much depth

That the ocean itself, screams out looking at your's.

Tell me i love you with so much strength

That the hurricane falls down on its knees, weeping out of its glory.

Tell me i love you with so much intensity

That even the raging forest fire turns itself to dust, in shame.

Tell me i love you with so much love

That love itself may find its true worth today.

I havent named the latter one, so any suggestions are welcome, i hope to see you guys real soon, and thank you once again for your support :), love you all :)

Happy times are here again Part-2

Continuing from last week......

The next award is THE BINDAAS BLOGGER AWARD

This award goes for all the coolest guys out there, who just do one thing... BE COOL.... so without further delay....

The award goes to Arpitha Holla from ME-ing

Arpitha is cool, and as the award says, bindaas. She writes the smallest posts i have ever seen, and as small they are, they are just as cute. cho chweet.

She writes about stuff she loves in a very funny manner. Sometimes sarcastic, sometimes genuine, You will find all types of funny content here....not just that, she writes poem which are straight from the heart, and even though the words are simple, They are so emotional that you will feel them as you own...

Arpitha you deserve it... :).

The next winner is Arpit Rastogi from Notebook

This guys knows his cool. i mercilessly made fun of him when i wrote a comedy using his name for the central character, and yet he was completely cool about it (He just called me an ass hole, Dog, Bitch, and something else which i cannot say here..... :P) But.....

Arpit you are the most funnest guy i have ever known... i am so lucky to have found a friend like you. You write great and my fav post is one, where you say to your lecturer....

Marks ka kya karegi, marks ki lagadoon dheri.
Mai barish kardo marks ki, jo tu hojay meri...

Its my most fav line of all time on your blog.... you are the cool, the most awesome, blog buddy of mine :).Congrats...

and not just that pal, I like you blog layout very much so you also win BEST HANGOUT PLACE

The next award is THE CONSISTENCY AWARD

This award is given to the veterans out there, who just do one thing, be awesome ( I use that word a lot, Don't i? ;))

They were great when i first read them and get awesomer every time they write a new post. I am so very proud and so very very happy to have know them, with them i have grown a bond. A bond so deep, that i myself donno how much i care about them.

The first winner of this award is Anwesa(I call her mehek :)) from My life and times

Mehek you are very special to me, I remember every special moment in my life which has got created because of you.

I wrote my first acrostic because of you, i started writing short stories because of you, i became a better person because of you.

Your poems inspire me, talk to me, guide me, help me.... in so many ways that you cannot possibly imagine. You with your words build a spell, that I am awe struck every time mehek every time :).

I respect you for what you are, and every time i read you blog, i learn something new. Thank you for being there, not just as the reader of my blog, but also as a very dear friend of mine :).

The next winner is the chocolaty, natkhat, chubuli, sweetheart called Choco from Candid Talk

Choco...... when she writes, is not just fun. she is the funnest. Using her cute experiences, and soft hearted words, she can make your heart melt, and can make you smile like none other, she sometimes gives many of us (bad) surprises by going away and locking her blog along, and i have missed her for all that times she has gone. but beside all that she is the blogger who i adore.

Choco you have stood by on times when i needed someone the most,you might not remember but i do, thank you for being there, and thank you for supporting me when i was feeling down.your simple words have always have been like sunshine in my dark old days you are as your name suggests, chocolaty with a lot of heart :)

and here is a special award just for you

MOST AWESOME COMMENT AWARD

This award is given for the person who gives the greatest and most awesomest comment on my blog.... All of your comments are awesome but, the one Choco gave on one of my post, captured my attention and heart....i loved it choco :). So this award is just for you :)

The next winner of the consistency award is Qamrina Almas from Tales of a lunatic

Qamrina was one of the first followers of my blog, and from the day she joined, she has been the most loyal blog buddy of mine ;). its not just how her comments lift me up everytime, its about her emotions and how she puts them in words. Ah..mazing

You have to see her posts at her blog,she just doesn't write about herself,but about the things which can be changed for the better. She is one human being who is as unique as her name. Qamrina almas (A golden moon :))

QM you have been there for all my happenings (and miss happenings for that matter) I will always cherish you as my beloved friend :)

Coming up next is Vyas Vishwanathan from Vyazz sez

I think I can never quite sum up what Vyas is. He is as vivid as your imagination can be, as creative as the clouds in the sky, and as motivated as a train chugging towards its destination. He just believes in only one thing, to achieve his goals. No matter what :).

When you read his posts you feel immersed in it, and get a feeling you want the same thing too, may it be on the problems of this country, or buying your won island. When ved writes a blog post, its always different from the last one, he is a genius at what he does. (Don't think I am saying all this because he is a doctor from a Russian university, and I can get free checkups when he visits me ;)) honestly I have a deep respect for what vyaz does through his words, he like a magician who knows exactly what to give to his audience, what they would like, and what they would care about. Vyaz, hats off to you man... :)

Next is Harshita from Hasrhita's Chill Out Zone

Every time I read her, its a delight, absolute delight, she talks about things what matter to her in a way that affect you. (Confused. Read it again :P) every time you read her blog post, you will leave with a smile on your face. She fights for the bad things in the society, gives awareness about what we can to make it better, ultimately making us a part of the good thing we would rather not be a part of, because we are just plain old lazy, or because we just dont care.

Her words have the freshness of the morning dew, a glow like the morning sunrise, and beauty of a spring valley. She is a one good human being, and I am really very proud that I know her.

The final winner is Atmm from As The Mind Meanders

After scoring the most prestigious award last time(The Most Innovative Thinker Award) atmm was bound to do great things, but he scared everyone out of their wits when he announced retirement..i thought “So young and retiring already, is desh ka kya hoga bhai?.” There was just gloom in the blog world for sometime because there was no atmm.

But a couple of months later when he announced his return and wrote a story called Still,man, read that story and you will know what coming back with a bang is all about... simple words, rock solid narration,punchy climax. Brilliant.... I, choco and a couple of others were very very glad to see him back (Though I haven't read his new story :P, sorry man time crunch ;)) but atmm is one of the genius's out there, and I am really glad that I know him :)

The next award in the ceremony is MORE OF YOU WOULD BE AWESOME

This award is given to the bloggers who write once in a blue moon, and its very frustrating to see that, because these guys write like... like.... well cooked sushi :P (I know... its not a nice comparison, but hey.......where do you get well cooked sushi nowadays ;))

On a serious note, I gotta tell you, these guys rock, they just write a post once in 2 months or so, and every time they write its a delight to read them.

The winner of this award is Akanksha from Direct Dil Se

Akanksha... wow what to say about this girl, she knows the perfect way to blend work with play. Comes like rain in the desert, quenches the thirst of the eagerly awaited bloggers, goes away, while we stare in awe ;)

May it be her poems or her personal experiences, everyone is as unique and beautiful like the previous one she wrote

Akki we miss you yaar, please write more so that we can smile a lot more :).

The next winner is Manisha from Butterfly Thoughts

She is just like her blog name suggests, a butterfly, and has grown just like one too. She started out like a caterpillar and then turned into this beautiful butterfly, with magnificently colorful wings . She come very very rarely, but whenever she comes its so nice to read her posts.

Manisha ji, try to write as much as you can ji, cause we miss you ji :)

Next award in the ceremony is MOST FUNNIEST BLOG AWARD

As the name suggests, the award is for the funniest guys out there. They are awesome at their work, with their beautifully manicured hands(I'm guessing its true for the boys too ;)) they write such elegant pieces of funny material that you are in splits every time you read them. This award is for you guys

The first winner is Shanu from Fullon Bakwaas

Looking at her blog name you may get an impression saying the blog is exactly what its supposed to be, well you are not wrong :P, but besides saying about random things about herself shanu has shared some of the deepest thoughts in her blog. I read them and I was immediately awe struck by them. But besides some serious stuff that comes like like the rains twice a year ;), she is one funny girl. She can make anyone laugh with her 'Paneerchikitis'(her addiction of paneer and chicken dishes ;)) or sending a complete stranger to an even stranger location, even though she doesn't know the exact address. Shanu is awesome at what she does....making people laugh. So shanu this award is for you girl :)

Next is Arpit Rastogi from Notebook

Read his blog... Laugh like crazy...... have fun. I guess thats sums up arpit's blog.... he can make me laugh like none other, especially when he is drunk :P don't believe me, go check out for yourself ;)

Saale arpit....You scored 3 awards on my blog, making you the highest winner of awards in one session, not bad saale not bad at all. I gotta tell you, you have been a very very dear and funny friend (Pun Intended :P) of mine. Even though we have talked less I will always cherish you as an awesome(Thats like the 20^th time I have used the word :P) friend of mine. And I look forward to a friendship which will be across borders which we live. Come down any time to Mysore and you will have a royal welcome, I Promise :).

I gotta tell you once more yaar... you really really really are a........ lucky fellow, because you have me as your friend na isliye ;) take care :)

The final winner Hary from Cartoonists.

I have just started reading hary's blog, and whenever I read it, there is always a smile on my face. And his blog posts are so funny.... my god I have had stomach cramps ;), so hary. Here's one for you :)

Coming down to the final award of the 2 week long ceremony :P SWEET CANDY AWARD

This award is given to the most sweetest person out there in the blogosphere, the one who write posts even sweeter than honey.

The only winner of this award is Sulagna Chatterjee from Pink & black :)

Sulgana didi in her blog writes about her relationship with her husband, about how special it is to live everyday with someone you love, how great it is too get married. Looking at her makes me want to marry right now, though I mom may have a different opinion :P.

Sulagna didi is like the Elder sis I never had, after heera(My younger sister) passed away last year, I felt I will never have a sister again. But looking at sulagna didi, I have smile filled tears every time I read her blog, because I think, this is how my sister would be if she would have married.

In sulgana Didi I see my own sister. So this award is especially for the sweetness she spreads into the world through her blog :)

Sulagna didi, I don't know what I am to you, but for me, you are my big sis, and you can never run away from that responsibility. If I ask for pocket money, you gotta send it to me in courier ok ;)

Kidding aside, your blog posts are so special, it reminds me of my sis every time didi. I cannot tell you how happy I feel when you write about you and Gopal Jiju. I hope the 2 of you will have the most happiest of lives, and I pray to god, that not an ounce of sadness come into your lives. Ever.

So thats a long list of awards. I am tired.... like literally.... Hope you all are happy for the awards you got and who ever dint get the award.... don't worry, I am not cruel....... here is an award just for you :)

And if you all wondered why i showered you with all these awards... well. its the budday of my blog... My baby turned 3 this year... :)

Take care... have a nice week ahead :)