Not so simple thoughts

I know i havent been around much. Maybe i'm just too lazy. Well, this is sort of a return. I donno when i'll be back again, but i hope its soon.

To start things off, i have written something(finally! :P). I was in a fight with myself when i wrote it. Its not exactly the best poem i have written, but i like it. It speaks to me. I have put in straightforward words whatever i felt at that moment. Hope u guys like it :). thank you all for reading my blog and constantly leaving comments. I know i dont reply to them, but i always read them and i love each one of them :). I will reply to them all in this post. Well, so without further blabbering... here's the poem...

Dare to dream

So rough these lines in hand; each trace in it distinctly reminding of what I have come to achieve.

In sameness I live.

Each morning I wake up the same way as y’day, waiting....

Waiting..... Every day, I wait some more.

I know it’s there. Its mine for the taking, I just have to be brave..... But I can’t.

Reasons are aplenty.

Easily i point my fingers to a new one. every day.

Each one is a lie, responsibility being the most believable one.

Moving on is easy. It’s the looking back that hurts.

I know I have it me, I can feel it, sense it.....

It’s not easy.

I know I am holding myself back, but there’s fear and I can’t seem to overcome it, not by myself.

Baring my soul is easy, it comes naturally to me.

If only it was possible now.....

I tend to hold onto a long forgotten dream, desperately.

It’s funny how memories work.

Things that I can’t hold onto, i try high and low to keep them in my grasp. But the ones that I can actually achieve, I run away from; I don’t even try.

Both come easy to me, the latter being the easiest.

Magic works; the magic of sleep.

Erasing everything I thought last day, was fighting with.

I don’t feel like surrendering, but I have to.

Reluctantly, helplessly I surrender.

I live another day; daring to dream; daring to turn that dream into my favourite mirage, reality.

<3 u all :). Take care... till next time.....

The truth

One of the values kids are taught at a young age is to tell the truth. The same was with my family. My mom was very strict about me and my sister telling truth. She used to say, “No matter what you have done, always tell the truth. It is much easier and it’s always, always the better option.”

In my childhood I was naughty kid. I used to get into trouble every day. As I started growing up, it continued, but the naughty turned into something else when I saw kids at my school wear new clothes, buy new things.

Every time I used to see my friend buy new things I wanted it. It wasn’t like I was obsessed about it, but I wanted it. What I dint know at that time is that there was one thing that would grow into an obsession.

It was the year 2000 and computer games had just made its way into my small hometown of Coorg, Madikeri. Everybody was playing. Kids, adults, you name it they were playing it. I so, so, so wanted to play them as everyone in our school was describing how amazing it was.

I had just passed out my junior high and entered my high school. My dad had given me 20 bucks on passing the exams. I took the money and ran to the cyber café to play the games with my friends.

I dint know squat about computer games. My friends cheated and played with my money for 2 hours, leaving me bitterly angry and unsatisfied. I said to myself, ‘I will play games all by myself without anybody’s help’, and that’s what I exactly did. The feeling I used to get when I played the games was amazing. Just like the feeling I used to get when i drank juice made from Kissan squashes; 100% real and amazing.

I was addicted and spent all the money I had on the computer games. Times were not as expensive as it is now. I used to get 5 bucks every week as pocket money, lesser sometimes. As we had our own shop, every time I used to ask my dad for more money, he used to say “When you have everything here, what do you need money for? If you want something I will buy it for you.”

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to play computer games and that was it. My dad wasn’t so rich that he’d buy me a computer, so I thought of a plan. Every time I was home after school my dad used to make me sit in the shop and go for a coffee break for 10 minutes. I hated sitting at the shop, but I did it anyway because I wanted my dad to rest.

One day as I was sitting, minding the shop, my eyes fell on the cash register. I saw the money my dad had made the whole day. There were a couple of 20’s, 50’s and a lot of 10’s. I saw how my friends looked at me when I played the games. I was good, not just good, I was goooood. We competed in car races and I always own. I wanted to maintain that winning streak and so I took two 10 rupee notes from the register.

As soon as I had the money in my hand I started panicking. I thought, ‘Will I get caught?’, ‘What if dad comes to know about the missing money?’, ‘What would happen if I get caught?’ A hundred questions crossed my mind. I was sweating and put the money back. I saw my dad come in. He saw me, smiled and said to go play outside. I went.

The thought never left me. My mind said ‘You could have just taken the money and left, dad wouldn’t know!’ I said to myself ‘No I can’t do it. It would be stealing and then if he asks me, I’d have to lie. I don’t wanna do that.’ There was no voice for some time, but as the evening progressed the thought never left my mind.

I met my friends next week and as I hadn’t played the games for a week, I was sloppy. I lost all games and I was angry at myself. I said to myself “Enough is enough, I am a winner and that’s what I will be.”

I went to my dad and said “I want money to play computer games!”

He said “You play a lot of games thousif; no you can’t have more money. Your grades will go down, sit and study rather than playing games".

I was pissed. I was so pissed that I when my dad went for his break that day, I took two 20 rupees notes without a guilty conscience. I went and played games without a worry in the world.

My dad didn’t suspect a thing, so I started taking money every day. What started with 40 bucks soon grew 50, 60 and more. Whatever I dint spend on the computer games I used to save up.

After 3 years I had collected a lot of money. Yes, 3 years; 3 freaking years. I would have continued if it wasn’t for my sister.

One of the saddest things in my life was my sister’s death. That event led to everyone in our house become zombies for weeks. I used to fight with my sister a lot and when she passed away I blamed myself for not asking sorry. Remembering her I used to cry on my mother’s shoulder and howl with pain, asking my sister to forgive me. It was normal childhood fights, but the pain of not getting to ask sorry was real and hurt every day.

As I was crying one day, I remembered what I had been doing for the past 3 years. I felt ashamed and I wanted to say it to my parents. But my ego dint let me. I was very afraid thinking what my dad would say, but the guilt was eating me out. I stopped taking the money, but I had the money I had saved. I may have had like 10,000 bucks with me. I wanted to put it all back, but my dad would ask ‘Where did all the money come from?’ and I would have no answer.

I wanted to say the truth and now I couldn’t. I was in agony. I felt like I was on fire, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

One day I fought with my mom. It was a bitter fight. She was crying and I was still angry. Suddenly I saw the picture of my sister on the table and I felt pain. I thought how I used to fight with her and now I had done the same with my mother. An inner voice told me ‘See thousif, you can’t ask sorry for the bad times you had with your sister, but you can set things right by asking sorry with your mother and telling her the truth’

I remembered what my mom used to say ‘Say the truth, no matter what.’ I went to where my mom was silently sobbing. I saw her, went near her, held her hand and let her to my bedroom. I sat down and said “I am really sorry mom” She stopped crying and saw me. I said how sorry I was for being such an arrogant child, and that I was sorry for all the bad things I had done in my life. She said that I wasn’t a bad kid, only a little stubborn sometimes but that was ok. I dint listen to her. I had taken a decision and I would abide to it.

I started talking about my sister and said how sorry I was for fighting with her and how sorry I was for fighting with my mom. I started crying, i was hysterical, like I couldn’t stop myself. It was 10 in the night and listening to my crying my dad silently came from the shop and stood near the door. I started crying, asking sorry and cried some more. My dad came near me and seeing him I just broke down. I wanted to confess and finally I thought it was now or never and I did it.

I said how I had started taking money and how I spent it on computer games and how I had saved some of it. I took a long time to confess and when I had finally finished my dad said only one thing “I knew.”

I looked at him and he hugged me and said “I knew about it, but I wanted you to stop it by yourself.” “You took a long time to stop, saved up a lot of money, but you did it.” he said smiling. I blurted out a laugh and looked at my mom. She came forward and hugged me and said smilingly “I knew too” I looked at her and tears flowed again. “Don’t cry” she said “I know you lied to us, but you taking initiating and confessing you did something wrong and admitting it is a huge thing.” I heard her say this and cried some more.

“Stop crying my child” my mother said hugging me tighter “You took a big step and see now we know you will never do it” she added.

I looked into her eyes and knew that I had cleansed my sins through the tears I cried. My parents rather than being angry were happy that I had realised my mistake. Both my parents got up from my bed and my dad took my chin into his hands and said smilingly “If you ever need money just ask thousif, everything me and your mother earn is for you itself. It always has been.”

That moment was real for me. More real than anything I had experienced in my life, ever. I learnt that whatever happens in life my parents will always be there for me. It made me feel so good to tell the truth. It made me and my parents grow stronger as a family and since then I haven’t taken a single rupee without asking.

That day I learnt that truth no matter how hurtful it is, is always a beautiful thing to say. I learnt that the real thing to have is a family that trusts you, no matter what you have done. It made me feel that saying the truth will always be better than telling lies. It’s your family that counts, the trust they have in you that counts. Lie never mattered and never will. I had their trust and from that day till now I have honoured that trust, always will.

This post has been written for 'The Kissan 100% Real Blogger Contest' on Indiblogger.in.

The wrong turn to the right side

I love Sunday morning, you can do what you want when you want; given that you can wake up on time. I was excited from the time I woke up because I’d be going out with my friend to watch a movie. We went on his bike finished watching the movie and I was riding back with him. We had made plans that we’d go to a friend’s place and surprise more friends with a party. We were riding shouting the movie’s dialogues at the peak of our voices when suddenly a traffic inspector called us to a stop. ‘Oh, shit’ we both said in unison.

‘Take out your license’ he said.

My friend took out his license, he showed all the other necessary documents required and I thought we’d get out without any fine. I thought wrong.

As it was Sunday and ‘business’ was going low for the poor policeman, he took a thorough inspection of our bike. The fact that we were caught screaming in a lonely looking street dint help our cause either. He completed his inspection and said, ‘Your tail light doesn’t work pay 500 rupees’ I saw the tail light that the inspector suggested and said to myself that tail light is cursed sir, that’s why.The reason for it was, no matter what you did, how much you changed the wiring, bulbs anything, it never worked.

We put out a united front and said ‘Why sir. It’s just a tail light why are you charging us with 500 rupees?’

‘Don’t speak too much, give me the money or else lets go to the police station, now’ he ordered.

I had had enough ‘Sir, it’s just a tail light, you can let us go with a warning, why do you want to take a bribe for it, that to 500 rupees?’ I said.

Taken aback for a second, he looked at me. I being a fat looking lean guy had no power in my arms. He weighed his odds that if a fight started, getting punched by me would be next to nil, so he came forward boring his eyes into me and asked me ‘You won’t pay?’

‘No, to hell with it. We dint break the law, I know our taillight doesn’t work but that doesn’t mean you ask us for a bribe’ I said.

‘The punk who has come yesterday to Bangalore will teach me what to do and what not..’ he said and raised his hand to hit me. Just then a jeep came from around the corner with a bunch of guys screaming “Free our nation from this curse, kill corruption in its base”

The jeep was a part of the rally being done in the name of Anna Hazare (bless you sir), and these guys were going to the main stadium where the meeting was to be held. I agree there wouldn’t be any praise for their poor rhyming skills but these guys would eventually save my life so listen.

I ran in front of the jeep and told them what the inspector was doing and how he was asking for money. They got down and started walking towards the Inspector with clear intentions that they were going to beat him down when I meddled in and said ‘Don’t hit him, let’s take him to the police station’.

He was reluctant, cursing and saying so many colorful words (which are not meant for younger viewers), when the guys thought they had had enough they pushed him into the jeep. Screaming his name along with the corruption slogans, they made the run to the nearest police station where they explained the whole situation to the inspector there.

Seeing so many people at once the inspector was scared for a second. He listened to both the sides and then led us out with a warning, booking a case against the inspector.

We came out of the station among a fleet of guys who thought corruption was killed that day by saving us. They started lifting us up as we were some sort of heroes and they pushed me up higher and higher. I was afraid, if I dint get kissed by the officer’s hand earlier, I’d surely be kissing the ground below if these guys pushed me any higher. But I saw their smiles and I understood that it was a win for both of us. I joined in with them and had a magnificent day ahead cursing the corrupt leaders of our nation and partying with them later. It was a good Sunday indeed; I saved my behind and saved my nation a little too. Hurray ;)

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest 'Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The daily office ride..

Each morning I enjoy my ride to office. Not because I ride my favorite bike to get there, but because I pass by boss’s house. I try to wave him a hi and see that I reach office before him. A little bit of buttering up and being on time always helps if I miss deadlines and all. So the morning of 22^nd July wasn’t any different, or so I thought.

It was raining. What do you expect in July otherwise? I was just hoping it’d stop for one hour till I reach office and just as I finished that prayer I saw, it had indeed stopped raining. I thanked the lord and started riding my bike.

As usual my boss was waiting outside for his car to pick him up. I saw him and gave him the most awesome smile I could muster. 32 teeth, no 30 actually 2 actually have fallen out, do not ask how. Seeing my smile he returned it with a sly smile of his and as I was passing by him I dint notice the one thing which I should have noticed at any cost- A big, deep, muddy, dirty water puddle.

Splash!! And my boss’s pant was soaked from top to bottom. I let out an agonized cry from my throat involuntarily. My brain kept saying, ‘you are screwed Thousif, you are screwed’. I left my bike and ran to inspect the damage, and I said, almost screamed ‘what sir, why were you standing outside?’

He was taken aback, instead of apologizing I was asking stupid questions. I continued ‘You should have stayed inside, the rains have made this road a mess, you should have been careful’

Instead of taking the blame I was blaming my boss itself. I think he was thinking, first order of business, sack Thousif raza for unprofessional conduct.

I continued ‘but do you know sir who is to blame for this mess?’’

He looked at me quizzically. ‘The government sir, the bloody government; Look at all these potholed roads. If they had done their work properly, you wouldn’t have suffered this way’

‘But you have eyes to see right?’ He asked ‘you could have avoided it’.

‘Yes sir I could have, but if I rode my bike a little along to the side, I would have fallen into that ditch. I could have died; do you want me to die sir?’ I asked and pointed towards the ditch which was so deep that even light couldn’t penetrate it.

‘Hmph’ he grunted and went inside his house.

Without invitation I went inside his home. Looking at me he started yelling ‘I had a very important meeting today and look what has happened’ he pointed to his filthy pant ‘and I have a raging headache now’ he added.

He went inside his room and started looking at the clothes searching for the ones which he thought were clean.

‘Sir, ma’am is not at home?’ I asked

‘She has gone out on a holiday, and by the why are you inside my house?’ he asked

‘To help you sir, to help you’ I replied

I continued ‘Sir, you search for the pant you want. I’ll make you a tea which will reduce your headache’ I said and bolted to the kitchen before he could say anything.

The one thing I am good at is making tea, I’ve got rave reviews for my tea making skills because that is the only thing I know to make without screwing up. I made the tea and it was ready within 10 minutes, so was my boss.

‘Here sir, a hot cup of tea just for you’ I said

‘No I don’t need all this, I am getting late’ he said

‘Sir, the traffic would be a nightmare now and if you go in your car you’ll never reach. Just sit down and drink this tea, I’ll take you in my bike’ I ordered, kind off.

He thought for a moment and then sat down and drank the tea. He took the first sip and a smile lit up his face, quickly he finished it completely.

I quickly ran back to my bike, cleaned it a little and asked him to take his seat and took him to the office through the shortcut which I usually take to reach office. He was surprised to reach the office earlier than expected.

He got down and went to the conference room where the meeting was held. Usually being the one late for every meeting, everyone was surprised to find him this early.

He came out of the meeting and came straight to me and said, ‘I should be angry with you but I won’t be. One is because of that tea and second is because of your presence of mind I reached office early. From next time drive carefully ok’.

I said ‘Sir, I guess it’s better if I do it again. Get you all dirty by spraying muddy water on you’.

‘Why?’ he asked taken aback.

‘Because that way I’ll get to spend more time with you and show you how capable I really am’ I said beaming. He just smiled and left.

Another day another disaster averted. I smiled widely and walked back to my cabin, thanking the stars and obviously- my tea making skills.

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The brand new Bangalore kid – part 3

If you are thinking when did part 2 come out… well it will come out… but in the last post one of my fav bloggers suruchi *hugs and kisses her* ;) asked me to talk about a particular incident so I am writing about it now. This incident happened after the incidents which I wanted to reveal earlier, so now part 3…. Now put your finger on your lips (sexily ;)) and read :).

Life experience #43 : Getting thrown into a river(or was it a stream… anybody know the difference? ;)) …40ft deep and feeling awesome :D

To start with I have to tell you, I was always a kid who was his parents fav and they protected me more than how angry birds protected their eggs :P… it was always school and home, college and home. I dint mingle with frenz much and always used to be home more than outside. And I don’t blame them, my mom loves me a lot and she dint want anything to happen to me, so she always insisted to come back home early.

In all these I lost out on many moments. When my frenz used to call me to someplace suddenly, I was always skeptical. Should I go? Shouldn't i? What would mom think, I was such a momma’s boy! :P, anyways coming back to the issue, I never hung out much with frenz, I wanted to but just dint wanna upset my mom too.

But coming to Bangalore, WOW, as I have said I have done a ton of things, and one among them is being thrown into that river.

Arpit and suruchi get angry and say: ‘Ab story shuru kare gab hi, ya sirf back story bolta rahega?, we know u were kind of a wuss :P and u became bolder after coming to bang, start with the near death experience all ready!!’

Ok suruchi ok :P he he. I can imagine her smile and it looks beautiful, (I donno about arpit, coz I don’t imagine him like that ;). Still his smile is cute too, I’ve heard a couple of girls say , don’t ask who arpit :P, it’s a secret).

So back to the story, Chavan is a magician, I donno how is does it. One moment he is suffering with a 104 degree typhoid fever, next moment he is saying: ‘Pack your bags we are going to Goa’ :P… he is so eccentric and lively and I love that fact about him, this time though it was the trip to a nearby place called Dubare forest :) (its famous for elephants)

(Actual Dubare Images :))

Being in kodagu all my life, I still hadn’t visited a lot of places. So for Dussera he said he is going out with his frenz and asked me to come along. I was being lazy again, but he insisted and next thing I know I am in madikeri (my hometown :D) sleeping in the room chavan and his friend rented. Let me now introduce the 3 very interesting frenz of chavan(and mine too :D)

Chandan (this guy is the definition of cool)

Amit Vikram (He the funnest person I have known, when drunk :P)

Mr silent good hearted person (Actually I forgot his name :P, sorry yaar :P)

So all these guys including me and chavan were in madikeri. Chandan is a guy with multiple pluses. He is good with cracking jokes, can hold onto to his liquor like a rock, and knows to make awesome cocktails too. So that day in the room we all sat down and he started preparing cocktails for everyone. I looked at him in awe as he concocted a potion with… hold your horses… Mango ‘Slice’(yes the juice). Nimbooz :P, Teachers brandy, lil lime and Salt on the edges of the glass ;)

I donno what it’s called, but all the guys who drank it, loved it. What started as just one glass turned to 2, 3, almost 4. (They stopped because the salt ran out :P). I was seeing them enjoy and I really wanted to steal a glass and taste it, just dint, couldn’t,( maybe I will cross that barrier one day too :)). But as I saw them enjoy, the same feeling came as the last time. Happy, content, and free (without being drunk ;)) and I loved it.

Amit is THE guy when it comes to laugh. At one time I asked him ‘dude how do you laugh?’ He started and that was the end of it … ha ha ha my god, it was so funny … Its like a combination of Ravan+The joker of batman and its LOUD :d.. We laughed and laughed and Chavan was like, ‘Oh stop you’re gonna make me throw up :P’. Honestly at that moment I saw and felt what I had been missing all these years. Hanging around frenz is fun, drunk frenz is even more fun :P. I have never had so much fun as I had here IN MY LIFE and it was just getting started.

Night grew, we went out outside where everyone was enjoying the festival of dusshera by dancing in front of the temple idols. These guys danced like crazy, I wanted to join in but had the camera in my hand, so I went my back to the room and till I dumped and came back, I saw everyone was exhausted. Still it dint dampen our spirit to roam around in the night.

Actually the thing is, in Madikeri the night is awesome on Dusshera, because the whole city is lighted up and devotees build huge creations of god and demons to tell the story through mock models, which are huge, usually taking up almost 3 to 4 tractors. There are 10 temples who make these models and prizes are distributed for best 3, people finish up celebrating dussera in Mysore and leave to Madikeri for the night, it’s so popular.

We too wanted to see what each temple had done, but Amit vikram was so exhausted and dizzy from the dancing, that we saw him puking at the side of the road … and it was funny. The way he was swaying from side to side, the way he almost got his butt beaten by a cop, while he was sitting on the road, and even after puking multiple times was full of energy to roam the whole city :P.

It was FUN, just being there, it was so fun. Chavan looked at his condition and said ‘Lets go back we are in no position to roam the city with this heavy head feeling, and we’d probably get our asses whooped with Mr crazy Amit here acting as Kistu Mukherjee every 2 mins’. So we saw the intelligence in his decision and went back and crashed on our beds.

To be continued…

(I know you all are boo hoo, where is the real story you cunning fox :P… but the post has grown long, I’ll post the rest soon, till then I hope you had fun reading it. I will post soon promise, see I promised and came back right? ;), so I will be back soon :))

Till then. Take care. I love you all. Happy Diwali BTW :)

Love to each and every one of my reader, I love you all, hope you guys have a grand diwali, be safe and have tons of fun ok :). Love you

The Brand New Bangalore Kid

Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.

Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.

Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!

Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…

Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!

Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)

Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…

For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M: Hell Yeah :P)

The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..

EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh

Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…

EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?

Me: Have to write a blog post.

EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.

Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,

Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?

Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!

Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy

Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!

Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?

Me: yes man, I feel bad

Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…

Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Oh shit yaar, bathroom jaana padega!!! Kal likhta hoon

EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.

Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!

Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!

ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?

Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?

Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!

Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&

EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^

Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..

Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”

Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*

ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)

I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…

First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.

Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!

Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…

ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!

EVIL M: yeah rgt…. Anyways… please continue your gun gyaan :P

ME: I don’t need your approval..

EVIL M: !~!@$%!#%$^^^

Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!

EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha

Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…

EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha

ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….

EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…

Evil M: (eerie static sound…..)

Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…

Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!

ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..

Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)

So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)

EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P

(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P

They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…

I remember a joke from the night..

Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?

Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)

Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P

To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.

We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).

Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….

EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…

Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).

P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….

a thing called beauty

The beauty of this world starts from the first moment the sun wakes up in the morning. Flowers bloom inviting the day to live for its fullest glory. Birds sing along in hope and enthusiasm getting ready for a new and exciting adventure. And every person in this planet wakes up thinking… ‘Oh hell I’m late again’..

Human, is a very intriguing species. I can say that with full confidence, because I am a human myself. (Most would doubt that fact seeing my wired antics like a monkey everyday ;))

Considering all the other species, human is the most complex being of all, and yet is the most beautiful creation of god. If I sit down to point out how human is the most beautiful creation, it’ll be another year till I finish, so I’ll only say the very important ones. Starting with… Birth.

The beauty of life starts with the first day we come into this world. Even though we are crying while we arrive, that day everyone is smiling, because that is the day everyone in that delivery room believes that world is not such a bad place after all. Looking into the baby’s eyes, everyone believes that, life is beautiful. That day there is so much of joy and happiness, that one would want nothing else, nothing at all. Beauty starts that day, that moment, because as we arrive, we bring that joy, happiness, hope, delight and pleasure into everyone's lives around us.

Love.

As we grow we learn many things, our first steps, first words, first naughty tricks and as we grow, we tend to learn one very special thing. We learn to love.

Starting with the first things we learnt, to the first person we saw (not the doctor who delivered us :P), we learn to love each deed and each person whom we spend our time with. As a child we don’t even know what love is, but still we love a lot of things.

This course of love takes us through a sea of emotions throughout our lives. From the first steps to school, to the first time we bunk it. From the first time we break a rule to the first time we admit it.

Love is such a strong force that it makes a human who is. Starting with our parents to that first special someone we feel for. Love has a beauty of its own.

It makes us believe, it teaches us to trust, it shows us how beautiful life can be and shows us, that no other force in the world can compete to this, love would suffice. Love is enough.

Some would argue when I say every single thing we do is for love, like even brushing your teeth or taking a bath. But honestly every human does some or the other thing for love, just for love. That is the power of love. That is the beauty of love.

Death

One of the things almost every human goes through in his life is seeing death, some way or the other everyone is affected by it. Couple of months ago our hearts went out for japan when it was struck by a tsunami, even people who weren’t affected by it were concerned and prayed for the country and its people, that no one loses their dear ones. That is how death connects every human on this planet.

Death as everyone says may bring horror and fear into someone’s life, but I would say it also gives us strength and power so that we learn how to live our life without that person. I can say that personally because I have been through my sister’s death.

We used to fight every day and get on each other’s nerves. My mother was fed up of stopping our fights, but still every day I used to share whatever happened in my life with her, and she did the same. We were like best frenz, and I remember her smile and the sparkle in her eyes, when she read a blog post I had written mentioning how special she is to me just 18 days before her death.

I remember that moment when I first got to know that she was no more, it was horrible. I cried like I had never cried before, I wanted to say so many things, apologize for all the faults and fights, but I couldn’t. Days after it, I and my parents lived like zombies; it was like somebody had hit a mute button on all our lives. But as days moved on, we learnt to smile remembering her memories, laugh remembering her antics with fixing her hair every morning, and that is how we grew strong as a family.

Death may seem like the greatest enemy of all time, and honestly it is, but death also makes us stronger, makes us trust more, gives us strength and teaches us to love our dear ones as much as we can, more than we can.

Death too has a beauty of its own, it is the most painful experience one has to go through, but still it teaches us, that we are stronger than what we believe ourselves to be, that bringing back that one smile on your parents face can be the most rejuvenating and satisfying experience ever. That it’s not death who conquers us, we conquer death, by learning to smile again, to be happy again and keep that person alive with our memories, and creating new ones as we live along.

Personally for me if I have to explain beauty, its life itself. Just living your life is the most incredible experience ever. The beauty of life is life itself, because it is journey like none other. We learn from every step we take and every decision we make, may it be good or bad. We live life.

Life is best lived within the moment, that is what i learnt after my sister's death. if i was sad all the time, i wouldn't have found the courage and strength to make my parents smile, and make them feel better and assure that i am there for them.

So all i wanna say is if you are happy, smile and laugh as much as you want. If you are sad, cry and wail to your heart’s content, because tomorrow is a new day. And that new day brings back that view of fresh blooming flowers, birds singing to wake you up with their sweet voices and your daily screams of… ‘Oh hell, I’m late again’ ;)…

This is my first submission for a competition at indiblogger... i couldn't have been more happier... thank you Indiblogger and Yahoo for giving me this chance to express my views thank you :)

i am back.. well sort of...

So i've got exams, that is like from 2 days from now.... so i wanna write many many(boring) new things but because i am so busy doing(lazy) things... i'll just stick to posting this poem which i wrote like a month ago... i just got up in the morning one day, took my pen and paper and started writing this poem, one my classmates said, its my best work till date :D, i was so happy... so here i present to you...

The Glories We Conquer

In the wake of the red mist, i open my eyes to see a flood

A flood of friends and foes scattered horrendously welcoming me. Lifeless

A second ago dying to open my eyes

Now only wishing if i were blind

A second ago what was filled with life

All now a proof of nightmares, A nightmare called death

The earth which smiled of a lively green

now only screams in the color of agony

The earth with a promise of warm sunshine

Now spews out a cold stench, reeking of bitterness and hatred

Perplexed, helpless, shocked i see

A sight which was never meant to be

The plants which once seeked water to flourish

Grow now with a taste of someone's life

A slow calm voice rises in my head

My mother teaching me when i was young

Every other man is your brother

I now in the distance see one, taking the life of another

Gathering the strength left in my arms, i stand up to a view of devastation

A moment of history made yesterday

A history no one will ever be proud of

I take a step forward and crush it into a stranger's eyes

The eyes which had dreamed of a son, growing now in his wife's womb

A son who will never see the shine

The shine of his father's green eyes

With another, i step onto a man's hands, breaking them. Forever

Hands which carried his daughter to school everyday, while he was home

Just like that i walk on,

from a warm place, where i took an oath to save every life,

to this wet place now, crushing and destroying dreams and memories

what starts as a walk, turns into a run. A run for my life

Falling into someone's arms which held life once,

to another's who always thought hatred was the answer

I cry now, breathing hard, cause i cant walk but crawl

So i crawl now, exhausted. My strength slipping down a stream of tears

Every movement i make, dragging me into a stench

A stench which seeps deep into my skin

Never to be washed of again

Crying, screaming and with utter despair

I reach the end of the sight

A sight no human should ever see

My mother waits for me in my distant home

Where she has promised me porridge, If i return home safe

Safe. A word me neither the world will ever believe in

Unwillingly and with an herculean attempt i pull myself up

to walk towards a will of mine, to live

A voice inside asking me just one question.................. "for what?"

Well, i know its a lil emotional, but don't be too sad cause i will be back to make u laugh sooooon... wish me that my exams go well, cause i haven't studied much(Read:Zilch :P) so... cya all soon. have a nice month ahead take care :)

P.S: This is my 75th post :D......sho happy :)