I love Sunday morning, you can do what you want when you want; given that you can wake up on time. I was excited from the time I woke up because I’d be going out with my friend to watch a movie. We went on his bike finished watching the movie and I was riding back with him. We had made plans that we’d go to a friend’s place and surprise more friends with a party. We were riding shouting the movie’s dialogues at the peak of our voices when suddenly a traffic inspector called us to a stop. ‘Oh, shit’ we both said in unison.
‘Take out your license’ he said.
My friend took out his license, he showed all the other necessary documents required and I thought we’d get out without any fine. I thought wrong.
As it was Sunday and ‘business’ was going low for the poor policeman, he took a thorough inspection of our bike. The fact that we were caught screaming in a lonely looking street dint help our cause either. He completed his inspection and said, ‘Your tail light doesn’t work pay 500 rupees’ I saw the tail light that the inspector suggested and said to myself that tail light is cursed sir, that’s why.The reason for it was, no matter what you did, how much you changed the wiring, bulbs anything, it never worked.
We put out a united front and said ‘Why sir. It’s just a tail light why are you charging us with 500 rupees?’
‘Don’t speak too much, give me the money or else lets go to the police station, now’ he ordered.
I had had enough ‘Sir, it’s just a tail light, you can let us go with a warning, why do you want to take a bribe for it, that to 500 rupees?’ I said.
Taken aback for a second, he looked at me. I being a fat looking lean guy had no power in my arms. He weighed his odds that if a fight started, getting punched by me would be next to nil, so he came forward boring his eyes into me and asked me ‘You won’t pay?’
‘No, to hell with it. We dint break the law, I know our taillight doesn’t work but that doesn’t mean you ask us for a bribe’ I said.
‘The punk who has come yesterday to Bangalore will teach me what to do and what not..’ he said and raised his hand to hit me. Just then a jeep came from around the corner with a bunch of guys screaming “Free our nation from this curse, kill corruption in its base”
The jeep was a part of the rally being done in the name of Anna Hazare (bless you sir), and these guys were going to the main stadium where the meeting was to be held. I agree there wouldn’t be any praise for their poor rhyming skills but these guys would eventually save my life so listen.
I ran in front of the jeep and told them what the inspector was doing and how he was asking for money. They got down and started walking towards the Inspector with clear intentions that they were going to beat him down when I meddled in and said ‘Don’t hit him, let’s take him to the police station’.
He was reluctant, cursing and saying so many colorful words (which are not meant for younger viewers), when the guys thought they had had enough they pushed him into the jeep. Screaming his name along with the corruption slogans, they made the run to the nearest police station where they explained the whole situation to the inspector there.
Seeing so many people at once the inspector was scared for a second. He listened to both the sides and then led us out with a warning, booking a case against the inspector.
We came out of the station among a fleet of guys who thought corruption was killed that day by saving us. They started lifting us up as we were some sort of heroes and they pushed me up higher and higher. I was afraid, if I dint get kissed by the officer’s hand earlier, I’d surely be kissing the ground below if these guys pushed me any higher. But I saw their smiles and I understood that it was a win for both of us. I joined in with them and had a magnificent day ahead cursing the corrupt leaders of our nation and partying with them later. It was a good Sunday indeed; I saved my behind and saved my nation a little too. Hurray ;)
This post was written for the Indiblogger contest 'Sets you on fire’
Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.
Each morning I enjoy my ride to office. Not because I ride my favorite bike to get there, but because I pass by boss’s house. I try to wave him a hi and see that I reach office before him. A little bit of buttering up and being on time always helps if I miss deadlines and all. So the morning of 22nd July wasn’t any different, or so I thought.
It was raining. What do you expect in July otherwise? I was just hoping it’d stop for one hour till I reach office and just as I finished that prayer I saw, it had indeed stopped raining. I thanked the lord and started riding my bike.
As usual my boss was waiting outside for his car to pick him up. I saw him and gave him the most awesome smile I could muster. 32 teeth, no 30 actually 2 actually have fallen out, do not ask how. Seeing my smile he returned it with a sly smile of his and as I was passing by him I dint notice the one thing which I should have noticed at any cost- A big, deep, muddy, dirty water puddle.
Splash!! And my boss’s pant was soaked from top to bottom. I let out an agonized cry from my throat involuntarily. My brain kept saying, ‘you are screwed Thousif, you are screwed’. I left my bike and ran to inspect the damage, and I said, almost screamed ‘what sir, why were you standing outside?’
He was taken aback, instead of apologizing I was asking stupid questions. I continued ‘You should have stayed inside, the rains have made this road a mess, you should have been careful’
Instead of taking the blame I was blaming my boss itself. I think he was thinking, first order of business, sack Thousif raza for unprofessional conduct.
I continued ‘but do you know sir who is to blame for this mess?’’
He looked at me quizzically. ‘The government sir, the bloody government; Look at all these potholed roads. If they had done their work properly, you wouldn’t have suffered this way’
‘But you have eyes to see right?’ He asked ‘you could have avoided it’.
‘Yes sir I could have, but if I rode my bike a little along to the side, I would have fallen into that ditch. I could have died; do you want me to die sir?’ I asked and pointed towards the ditch which was so deep that even light couldn’t penetrate it.
‘Hmph’ he grunted and went inside his house.
Without invitation I went inside his home. Looking at me he started yelling ‘I had a very important meeting today and look what has happened’ he pointed to his filthy pant ‘and I have a raging headache now’ he added.
He went inside his room and started looking at the clothes searching for the ones which he thought were clean.
‘Sir, ma’am is not at home?’ I asked
‘She has gone out on a holiday, and by the why are you inside my house?’ he asked
‘To help you sir, to help you’ I replied
I continued ‘Sir, you search for the pant you want. I’ll make you a tea which will reduce your headache’ I said and bolted to the kitchen before he could say anything.
The one thing I am good at is making tea, I’ve got rave reviews for my tea making skills because that is the only thing I know to make without screwing up. I made the tea and it was ready within 10 minutes, so was my boss.
‘Here sir, a hot cup of tea just for you’ I said
‘No I don’t need all this, I am getting late’ he said
‘Sir, the traffic would be a nightmare now and if you go in your car you’ll never reach. Just sit down and drink this tea, I’ll take you in my bike’ I ordered, kind off.
He thought for a moment and then sat down and drank the tea. He took the first sip and a smile lit up his face, quickly he finished it completely.
I quickly ran back to my bike, cleaned it a little and asked him to take his seat and took him to the office through the shortcut which I usually take to reach office. He was surprised to reach the office earlier than expected.
He got down and went to the conference room where the meeting was held. Usually being the one late for every meeting, everyone was surprised to find him this early.
He came out of the meeting and came straight to me and said, ‘I should be angry with you but I won’t be. One is because of that tea and second is because of your presence of mind I reached office early. From next time drive carefully ok’.
I said ‘Sir, I guess it’s better if I do it again. Get you all dirty by spraying muddy water on you’.
‘Why?’ he asked taken aback.
‘Because that way I’ll get to spend more time with you and show you how capable I really am’ I said beaming. He just smiled and left.
Another day another disaster averted. I smiled widely and walked back to my cabin, thanking the stars and obviously- my tea making skills.
This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’
Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.
Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.
Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.
Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!
Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…
Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!
Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)
Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…
For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M:Hell Yeah :P)
The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..
EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh
Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…
EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?
Me: Have to write a blog post.
EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.
Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,
Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?
Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!
Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy
Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!
Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?
Me: yes man, I feel bad
Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…
Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…
EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.
Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!
Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!
ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?
Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?
Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!
Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&
EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^
Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..
Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”
Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*
ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)
I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…
First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.
Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!
Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…
ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!
Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!
EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha
Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…
EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha
ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….
EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P
ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…
EvilM: (eerie static sound…..)
Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…
Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!
ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..
Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)
So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)
EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P
(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P
They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…
I remember a joke from the night..
Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?
Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)
Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P
To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.
We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).
Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….
EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…
Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).
P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….
So i've got exams, that is like from 2 days from now.... so i wanna write many many(boring) new things but because i am so busy doing(lazy) things... i'll just stick to posting this poem which i wrote like a month ago... i just got up in the morning one day, took my pen and paper and started writing this poem, one my classmates said, its my best work till date :D, i was so happy... so here i present to you...
The Glories We Conquer
In the wake of the red mist, i open my eyes to see a flood
A flood of friends and foes scattered horrendously welcoming me. Lifeless
A second ago dying to open my eyes
Now only wishing if i were blind
A second ago what was filled with life
All now a proof of nightmares, A nightmare called death
The earth which smiled of a lively green
now only screams in the color of agony
The earth with a promise of warm sunshine
Now spews out a cold stench, reeking of bitterness and hatred
Perplexed, helpless, shocked i see
A sight which was never meant to be
The plants which once seeked water to flourish
Grow now with a taste of someone's life
A slow calm voice rises in my head
My mother teaching me when i was young
Every other man is your brother
I now in the distance see one, taking the life of another
Gathering the strength left in my arms, i stand up to a view of devastation
A moment of history made yesterday
A history no one will ever be proud of
I take a step forward and crush it into a stranger's eyes
The eyes which had dreamed of a son, growing now in his wife's womb
A son who will never see the shine
The shine of his father's green eyes
With another, i step onto a man's hands, breaking them. Forever
Hands which carried his daughter to school everyday, while he was home
Just like that i walk on,
from a warm place, where i took an oath to save every life,
to this wet place now, crushing and destroying dreams and memories
what starts as a walk, turns into a run. A run for my life
Falling into someone's arms which held life once,
to another's who always thought hatred was the answer
I cry now, breathing hard, cause i cant walk but crawl
So i crawl now, exhausted. My strength slipping down a stream of tears
Every movement i make, dragging me into a stench
A stench which seeps deep into my skin
Never to be washed of again
Crying, screaming and with utter despair
I reach the end of the sight
A sight no human should ever see
My mother waits for me in my distant home
Where she has promised me porridge, If i return home safe
Safe. A word me neither the world will ever believe in
Unwillingly and with an herculean attempt i pull myself up
to walk towards a will of mine, to live
A voice inside asking me just one question.................. "for what?"
Well, i know its a lil emotional, but don't be too sad cause i will be back to make u laugh sooooon... wish me that my exams go well, cause i haven't studied much(Read:Zilch :P) so... cya all soon. have a nice month ahead take care :)
First of all thank you so much for the support you guys gave me in the last post, i was so so so happy to see your guys comments, it was the highlight of my holidays this year :)... EVIL M too sends his regards, i think he cried a lil bit :P (EVIL M: that's a lie, it was you remember) anyways he wont admit it :)
I'm thinking about writing some serious stuff(It'll come soon), so dint write anything from the past two weeks, but i want to share something with you guys...
When i broke up with my girlfriend, something happened inside of me, it was like a feeling i can never put in words, it was a hard time getting over her, still not am....
But during that period of time when i broke up.... the poet inside of me, wanted to talk, i know it sounds funny, but the way those emotions came out I'm surprised myself.... so i just wanted to share this poem with you...
In the infinities of beyond, I lay unabashed Believing in a worth no other man believed. In this permanence of solitude, i found this self, Resonating me, but none like any
In search of respite, i travel along unfollowed paths, Where every step taken forward, pulls me back towards a halo which i once loved to live in
Now that cloud of comfort, has rained, nothing left it floats away i look towards the sun for a new beginning. Still, in love with the yesterday's sunset.
You might find it funny when i say this, i am the one who wrote that poem, but couple of lines in that poem i've never been able to decode.. but i want to find out, what it says, what made me write those lines,... i wanna know, so if you guys come up with something, it would be a great help for me.... :)
well thats for today... i'll be back next week :).... have an eventful week ahead :)... take care
Hey guys hi.... I am back... missed me na... I know I know you would have....
I wasn’t at my blog and I wasn’t at most of yours too... sorry about that... I was a little heart broke, cash broken, and arm and thigh broken too(playing gulli cricket, whew... its a back breaking job)
But not to worry, your favorite blogger is back and this time, i am not gonna talk about me. Promise... really, I know you don’t believe me, but when you see what I have in store for you, you will believe me.
ok close your eyes for 3 seconds so that i can unravel the surprise...
.............
HEY..NO PEEKING ;) :P
(Rustle rustle,... chur chur...Trr trr... ketrrrrr)
OK..... the presents are out of the bag
(Looks at them with proud eyes :))Theyare beautiful and awesome as always, and i am gonna award these to all those bloggers whom I love to read, who are close to my heart, whom I adore for what they are.
When i read what you guys write, i feel good, and its gives me motivation, so that I can better myself.
You guys inspire me in every way of my life, and today is that day that you get recognized for your efforts
Because its the annual (more like quarterly or whenever i am happy :P)
First a speech by the awesome guy himself. Mr Thousif Raza.
As you know i am the guy who started blogging almost 3 years back, and today is the day...today is the day...
Hey I don’t remember my lines.....
EVIL M "I forgot them.... on purpose... who gives a damn about boring speeches. just jump into the ceremony already... I wanna watch the last season of Baywatch."
Ok so (as EVIL M has his won urgency)...without further delay...... lets start with the first award in the ceremony.
THE NEXT BIG THING AWARD
This award signifies the new blogs which I have just started to read, but which have left a huge impact on me. These blogs are so so awesome, when I read them i felt wow, these bloggers are so young, yet so goal oriented.
They know what the world wants, and they give em just that, by doing the best thing in the world, by being themselves. These guys have just started, but baby are the gonna rock...., they are gonna rock the world like none other, so watch out world, cause these are the guys who are gonna change blogging(and you lives for that matter :)) forever.
The award goes to (Hold your breath)....(Hold it a little more)
You deserve it ya...your writing is awesome and when i read your short story HOW THE HEART BROKE, i cried, i smiled, i lived life....you have got a long long long way to go... so this award is taylor made for you, and by the way, you voice is like honey, i love it so much. when you bring out your first album i am gonna be the first one to own a copy of it in India and this time i am gonna buy it.
(Original. mind you :P )
The next winner is....(Hold your breath)....(Hold it a little more)....
Charu started blogging just couple of months back and she has started blogging not just for herself but for the world. she is the first blogger on my blog list, who has been doing her part in saving the world by going green, she has been informing the world about how an individual person(Yes you my blog reader) can do your part and save the world, about how you can be a super hero by being simple and a little thoughtful. And to think this girl has just started her 11th std makes it that muchmore awesome.
Charu i am so proud of you. its youngsters like you who provide the motivation for thier fellow(not so ;))youngsters like us and the rest of the world, by showing how we can do our part and save the world. Thank you.....
And for that special work that you do.... here is an award just made for you
THE GREEN AWARD
This award is for the bloggers who work for the betterment of the world by going green, who inform how one can make the world better by adopting new ideas which will help save the world.
As much as i have seen...... its only charu who is active in this. so Charu its only for you (No stealing by any body else OK ;))
The next winner in this category is Viddhi arora from ~*V*~
Viddhi just writes poems, but those are some poems that I have read, each one ids different from another and special than another, she writes with such creative flow, that you are awed and amazed every time you read them….
The next award in the event is the MOST CREATIVE PERSON AWARD
As the name suggests, this award signifies the creativity of the person, they are THE BEST at what they do, whether its a poem or a story, what they write is brilliance, absolute brilliance, as much as i am in awe when i read them, these are the bloggers i am so jealous of. But, at the same time proud too. Because i can proudly brag about them with my(real)friends that i know in the real-turned-fake world.
The award has 3 clear winners.
So here comes the first winner...(Hold your breath)....(Hold it a little more)
Tulika is the greatest poet i have read in my entire life. i can say it without a doubt that poems written by her are blissful. You know......whenever i read one of her poems, i feel them from my heart, whether they portray pain or happiness, it all becomes a part of me.
Tulika i gotta tell you, your poems are awesome, i love each and every one (Even though i sometimes don't understand some because i am dumb headed ;) (Just a little :P)). whenever i open my blogger page i first go to your blog and then others. You have been a wonderful buddy of mine, you helped me out many a times by giving life to my stupid lines and converting those lines into the most beautiful piece of literary marvel ever. They are very close to my heart. you are genius with words and i am the biggest fan of your poems. Conduct a reality show if you want, and i will prove it to you that i am the ultimate fan :). Thank you for writing such beautiful and exquisite pieces of literature. Those poems are as bright and warm as sunshine and as blissful and magical as moonlight. Thank you :)
The next winner is as evident as daylight... its its
(OK no need to hold your breath ;) I'll let you out this time :P)
Its...
...Its.....
(Again ;)) Remya from impact-o-life(Scream remya screa....Oh you already have screamed... but what the heck scream one more time yaar ;)) (Screaming is always fun na :D)
Well remya has written one of the most brilliant love story's i have ever read.HOW THE HEART BROKE. Its brilliant, awesome, great, wonderful, everything.
Remya,please keep writing and make us all feel better about ourselves. we need you ya :)
The next winner is the person i respect very much. he writes such brilliant stories, that you have never read in your entire life. They are out of this world. My god the creativity. The brilliance. the greatness of his writing... oh... i am speechless every time i read a story written by him :).Awesome.
The award goes to.... goes to....(Hold your breath)....(Hold it a little more)
Pavan you won the award of the most innovative thinker award last time, and i am extremely proud of the fact that you were the winner of that... your stories are nothing short of excellence. Every time i read them i am spellbound... i am left awe striken. i am honored to know you... continue writing and enlightening the fellow mortals who read your blog...Congrats
Ok..... enough awards......lets have a lil entertainment... so lemme present....
Stand up comedy by EVIL M
A chicken was walking on the sidewalk, somebody was painting a wall above it,the painter tripped and some paint fell on the chicken. The chicken dint notice it and crossed the road, it reached the other side and noticed something on itself and so crosssed the road again....
So ask me.... why did the chicken cross the road?
.....................
I am hoping you asked why (Glares with EVIL eyes :0)
It crossed the road to ask a question .
Hum pay yeh kisne hara rang dala??? :P
Mast joke tha na.... i know i know
(EVIL M: I was nowhere part of that joke, Thousif is lying by using my name to gain popularity)
Ok i admit it. That joke was less awesome, so here is a real joke
Patient: Doctor saab mere paas paise nahi hain, Please mera elaj kar deejeye, Ek din aapke kaam aaonga (Doc i dont have any money, please help cure me, I'll be a valuable help to you one day )
Doctor:Kya kam karte ho bhai? (What job do you do?)
Now admit it OK, that joke was funny.... wasn't it.... so enough entertainment for now (So before you run away screaming, or believe for real that i am a nut crack) lets get back to the ceremony
Part 2 is on the way.... keep waiting.... there are more winners than you can imagine ;)
The sun was fading that Sunday evening to become a distant memory, eventually to give birth to a new one, when he entered into my room (without knocking. Again...) as I was typing out a blog post on my computer
“Hi” announced Sam in the saddest manner possible. Even ‘Ross’ of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S series would be jealous of his sad hi,
I looked up and said “Wassup? Why the sad face?”
“Nothing, it’s the weekend and I got nothing fun to do...” he announced and flung himself into the bed.
He then randomly scanned the room and found a pack of chips lying somewhere, he dug into them and munching them called out “Hey these are good, when did you get them?”
“Last week…” I said “Now don’t disturb me, I am doing important work here…”
“Yeah right” he said sarcastically, and then started scanning the room again.
I don’t understand this trait of guys, whenever they are sad or down, they get hungry, and eat anything around them which is edible (or not edible for that matter ;))
He found a cap with a slogan ‘PHOTO MARATHON 2010. JAYCIANA’ stamped on it.
(JAYCIANA is a yearly fest held by Jayachamraja College of engineering, it holds a number of events and entry is free for all)
“Wow... when did you start modeling” he asked me
“No I dint, why do you ask?” I said
“Well it was time they hired goofy looking models like you, so I thought you finally found your break into the ‘glam’ world. You can give serious competition to the zoozoo’s you know…” he said and smiled
I sneered and turned towards my computer screen and then he said “Pity the JAYCIANA is over or we could have gone to see some of the events held there”
“It’s not over, there is one final event” I said “Rock band Parikrama are performing today”
He jumped out of the bed and said “I thought you just act stupid, but now I really know that you are one”
‘‘Oops. The secret is out’’ replied EVIL M
I turned back and asked angrily “How am I STUPID?”
“Then what dude, there is a live rock concert which is free to attend and you are sitting here! God….Why?” he said
“I don’t know how to ride a bike, and the event will get over at 11 pm, there are no buses at that time. How was I supposed to get back? So I thought of skipping it...”
“You have me now” he said “Sam Rossi. The twin brother of valentino rossi, who got separated in the kumbh mela last year.” He said winking “So move your ass now will you?, we got a rock concert to attend to”
I was shocked, shell shocked. Sam saying ‘Let’s go to a rock concert’ I couldn’t believe my ears. The guy who hates English music, curses me when I listen to it, gives fake vomit like gestures. That guy saying those lines. I asked him “You are not drunk right?”
He smiled and said “No I am not, let’s go”
“But I thought you were not into this ‘Rock-concert’ stuff!!” I replied
“I am not, but I have visited some concerts of Sonu nigam and Udit narayan, and they are always fun, and even if I don’t understand what they sing, there are always girls right, so it’s a win-win for both of us what say?” he said and winked at me.
I couldn’t believe it, but agreed right away. I shut off the computer, and got ready.
We borrowed my other brother’s bike and were going along the highway, when Sam looking at a food mall said “Wish I could grab a bottle of beer…”
“Oh here goes…” I said “You say that every time we pass by this mall, I don’t drink beer or alcohol Sam, so just skip it”
“Beer is not alcohol, and anyways they have non alcoholic beer too” he said
“Really?” I asked
“Yeah, so can we buy them this time?” he asked expectantly
I pondered ‘Non.Alcoholic.Beer hmm that means we won’t get drunk and lose our thinking power’. “Duh” said EVIL M.
I agreed and we went into the shop
Looking around the food section I was nervous, this was the first time I was entering into a wine section, I dint knew what to do, how to approach the bottles. But I gathered courage, and just as I was about to pick up the bottles, one of them slipped and I barely caught it and then quickly replaced it on the counter.
“God, it’s not radioactive” said EVIL M “Chill dude”
“Well I am nervous”I said sweating “This is my first time” I said
‘You sound like a virgin…” said EVIL M laughing ‘which you are at this stuff, so lemme guide you’
He continued “Take a couple of bottles and put them into your pocket and then go to the counter and get them billed and stop sweating like a pig”
I listened to him and said to myself ‘yeah I can do this, I can do this, it’s even non alcoholic, so we won’t feel drunk and I am not stealing, yes I can do it’ I said and did what EVIL M said.
It went off smooth and I came holding those 2 babies on my shoulders like a proud father. Sam smiled too and said “I can’t believe we are getting drunk tonight”
“They are non alcoholic” I reminded him
We looked for a place beside and drank them in front of the store itself. The watchman was eyeing us in a look that said ‘Spoilt kids of Rich parents’. I wanted to correct him by saying ‘Middle class parents’ kids, trying to get spoilt. The non alcoholic way’ I raised the bottle towards him, he gave a fake laugh and turned away.
The beer dint taste half bad, how would I know, it was my first time. So after finishing them we left the bottles beside the dustbin just like any self conscious Indian would do ;). And then we got on the bike.
Sam was riding the bike and he asked “Do I smell like beer, I don’t want bhaiya to know about it!!”
“We are gonna reach home after, like 4 hours, you will smell like many other things till that time, so don’t worry” I said smiling
But even though I kept my cool, I was getting worried and many questions were popping in my head, will I enter a trance?, will I smell bad?, will I throw up? But I somehow held up.
In between Sam was asking me questions. Just one question actually “Do I look drunk?, do I look drunk, do I look drunk”
EVIL M getting annoyed said “Somebody please give me alcohol. I wanna get drunk”
I smiled and replied him no, but all the way Sam was asking me, and at one point I think I heard EVIL M throwing up in my mind. I asked him why and he said “His questions are making me nauseous”
We reached the place and after like hundred sound checks it started at around 8 o clock. But it was worth it. Standing there doing my favorite hobby (Head banging ;)) I was experiencing bliss, I looked at Sam and to my surprise he too was enjoying (more than me ;)). We were jumping of random people’s shoulders, stamping on others feet and screaming so hard that our throats hurt.
We were doing all kinds of dances, the nagin dance, the bunnies on weed dance, sanni paji’s dhai kilo hath wala dance. You name it we danced like it ;)
Looking at us EVIL M said “I would have been so proud, if you were drunk right now…”
The bass guitarist had this crazy hair, and was acting like an AC/DC front man with army stances and all. It was so fun.
I think I had tears in my eyes, because this was a first time I was attending a rock concert and I would have missed it if not for Sam. At the end of the program I had a huge smile on my face.
EVIL M noticing this said “I know the reason for that smile”
“Oh, Yeah what is it?” I asked
“You just lost your virginity” he said smiling
“What?” I exclaimed
“Yeah…You are not a concert virgin anymore” he said and winked at me
I replied in my most used quote towards him “EVIL M, you truly are evil”
And yeah I passed in my 1st semester with a staggering 68.2 percent…:) i might have won a gold medal too :). not sure because i share the same marks with another girl. So In advance i am thanking you all. and oh oh, pray for the my internals that get started tomorrow(I know zilch about the subject :P) it would be a great help :)
