I know i havent been around much. Maybe i'm just too lazy. Well, this is sort of a return. I donno when i'll be back again, but i hope its soon.
To start things off, i have written something(finally! :P). I was in a fight with myself when i wrote it. Its not exactly the best poem i have written, but i like it. It speaks to me. I have put in straightforward words whatever i felt at that moment. Hope u guys like it :). thank you all for reading my blog and constantly leaving comments. I know i dont reply to them, but i always read them and i love each one of them :). I will reply to them all in this post. Well, so without further blabbering... here's the poem...
Dare to dream
So rough these lines in hand; each trace in it distinctly reminding of what I have come to achieve.
In sameness I live.
Each morning I wake up the same way as y’day, waiting....
Waiting..... Every day, I wait some more.
I know it’s there. Its mine for the taking, I just have to be brave..... But I can’t.
Reasons are aplenty.
Easily i point my fingers to a new one. every day.
Each one is a lie, responsibility being the most believable one.
Moving on is easy. It’s the looking back that hurts.
I know I have it me, I can feel it, sense it.....
It’s not easy.
I know I am holding myself back, but there’s fear and I can’t seem to overcome it, not by myself.
Baring my soul is easy, it comes naturally to me.
If only it was possible now.....
I tend to hold onto a long forgotten dream, desperately.
It’s funny how memories work.
Things that I can’t hold onto, i try high and low to keep them in my grasp. But the ones that I can actually achieve, I run away from; I don’t even try.
Both come easy to me, the latter being the easiest.
Magic works; the magic of sleep.
Erasing everything I thought last day, was fighting with.
I don’t feel like surrendering, but I have to.
Reluctantly, helplessly I surrender.
I live another day; daring to dream; daring to turn that dream into my favourite mirage, reality.
Each morning I enjoy my ride to office. Not because I ride my favorite bike to get there, but because I pass by boss’s house. I try to wave him a hi and see that I reach office before him. A little bit of buttering up and being on time always helps if I miss deadlines and all. So the morning of 22nd July wasn’t any different, or so I thought.
It was raining. What do you expect in July otherwise? I was just hoping it’d stop for one hour till I reach office and just as I finished that prayer I saw, it had indeed stopped raining. I thanked the lord and started riding my bike.
As usual my boss was waiting outside for his car to pick him up. I saw him and gave him the most awesome smile I could muster. 32 teeth, no 30 actually 2 actually have fallen out, do not ask how. Seeing my smile he returned it with a sly smile of his and as I was passing by him I dint notice the one thing which I should have noticed at any cost- A big, deep, muddy, dirty water puddle.
Splash!! And my boss’s pant was soaked from top to bottom. I let out an agonized cry from my throat involuntarily. My brain kept saying, ‘you are screwed Thousif, you are screwed’. I left my bike and ran to inspect the damage, and I said, almost screamed ‘what sir, why were you standing outside?’
He was taken aback, instead of apologizing I was asking stupid questions. I continued ‘You should have stayed inside, the rains have made this road a mess, you should have been careful’
Instead of taking the blame I was blaming my boss itself. I think he was thinking, first order of business, sack Thousif raza for unprofessional conduct.
I continued ‘but do you know sir who is to blame for this mess?’’
He looked at me quizzically. ‘The government sir, the bloody government; Look at all these potholed roads. If they had done their work properly, you wouldn’t have suffered this way’
‘But you have eyes to see right?’ He asked ‘you could have avoided it’.
‘Yes sir I could have, but if I rode my bike a little along to the side, I would have fallen into that ditch. I could have died; do you want me to die sir?’ I asked and pointed towards the ditch which was so deep that even light couldn’t penetrate it.
‘Hmph’ he grunted and went inside his house.
Without invitation I went inside his home. Looking at me he started yelling ‘I had a very important meeting today and look what has happened’ he pointed to his filthy pant ‘and I have a raging headache now’ he added.
He went inside his room and started looking at the clothes searching for the ones which he thought were clean.
‘Sir, ma’am is not at home?’ I asked
‘She has gone out on a holiday, and by the why are you inside my house?’ he asked
‘To help you sir, to help you’ I replied
I continued ‘Sir, you search for the pant you want. I’ll make you a tea which will reduce your headache’ I said and bolted to the kitchen before he could say anything.
The one thing I am good at is making tea, I’ve got rave reviews for my tea making skills because that is the only thing I know to make without screwing up. I made the tea and it was ready within 10 minutes, so was my boss.
‘Here sir, a hot cup of tea just for you’ I said
‘No I don’t need all this, I am getting late’ he said
‘Sir, the traffic would be a nightmare now and if you go in your car you’ll never reach. Just sit down and drink this tea, I’ll take you in my bike’ I ordered, kind off.
He thought for a moment and then sat down and drank the tea. He took the first sip and a smile lit up his face, quickly he finished it completely.
I quickly ran back to my bike, cleaned it a little and asked him to take his seat and took him to the office through the shortcut which I usually take to reach office. He was surprised to reach the office earlier than expected.
He got down and went to the conference room where the meeting was held. Usually being the one late for every meeting, everyone was surprised to find him this early.
He came out of the meeting and came straight to me and said, ‘I should be angry with you but I won’t be. One is because of that tea and second is because of your presence of mind I reached office early. From next time drive carefully ok’.
I said ‘Sir, I guess it’s better if I do it again. Get you all dirty by spraying muddy water on you’.
‘Why?’ he asked taken aback.
‘Because that way I’ll get to spend more time with you and show you how capable I really am’ I said beaming. He just smiled and left.
Another day another disaster averted. I smiled widely and walked back to my cabin, thanking the stars and obviously- my tea making skills.
This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’
Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.
120 minutes, that was what was offered on the table. ‘Go on take it’ said a voice inside me. As much excited I was to pick up those minutes, I was also scared. I thought how useful these could be and at the same time I also thought, being the lazy guy I am what would happen if I turned them into another lazy memory…..
No you won’t! said my heart, and I believed it. And when I picked up those 120 minutes, I imagined what they could offer to me and amazing would be the understatement to what I could do with those 2 hours. This is how I would spend my 2 extra hours in a week…
Day 1: Monday
Everybody thinks life starts on a Sunday, but life really starts on a Monday. Many people like me hate to get up in the mornings. Standing in queue for the bathroom in a PG hostel where I live, just to take a hurried bath so that I can reach office on time, or 15 minutes late as the records show. Yes that’s my start of every Monday.
Day goes by and evening approaches, in all my work, youtube addiction and messaging that someone special, I forget to have any time for myself. I want to, ‘but there is no time’. It’s like a hymn that my lips have learnt to say without my knowledge. There at that particular moment I realize what I have in my pocket. My 2 hours. My extra 120 minutes where I can do anything I want.
An invisible alarm starts up for my 120 minutes and the world stops. It’s just like in the matrix training sequence, where they can pause time. Whatever happens in life doesn’t bother me, because those 120 minutes are mine.
I start by doing my most favorite activity in the world- Writing.
Even though I am a copywriter I barely get time to write what I truly love- Poetry. It’s not like I am a big shot at it or anything, hell I don’t even follow the rules sometimes. But poetry is one way through which I have lived through many of my emotions. Be it my first breakup or how much I hate war. Poetry has always helped me to express what I feel in a much better way.
Tell me i love you with so much depth
That the ocean itself, screams out looking at your's.
Tell me i love you with so much strength
That the hurricane falls down on its knees, weeping out of its glory.
Tell me i love you with so much intensity
That even the raging forest fire turns itself to dust, in shame.
Tell me i love you with so much love
That love itself may find its true worth today.
This is of my favorite poems.. and inspired by this i wanna write something like this.
Trust I this world, because it gives me hope with each sunrise.
Trust I every person I see, because I see a smile waiting to breakout in everyone of them
Trust I this time, because I know it will come, where I see all I hope coming true
The only problem is just placing that trust on myself, to believe.
I know it’s nothing much, hell maybe others will think its complete crap, but I don’t care. It’s my life and the way I see it, anything that makes me happy as long it’s not illegal, is good enough for me :).
And suddenly that alarm goes off, saying my time is up.. That’s how I would spend every Monday of mine. A poem to start my week, which would make me believe that anything is possible. That world can be a place where I can do what I love, no one to hold me back, not even my own lazy self :).
Day 2: Tuesday
Same ordeal follows, but I am so happy with what happened yesterday I cannot wait to start up my 2 hour clock which allows me to do all the things I love.
Tuesday is a day filled with just as much work, presentations and all those things. But it is also special because it’s an unofficial lucky day in our family.
According to my mom, everything from a fridge, TV, to a washing machine that we have bought for our home was on a Tuesday.
Following this tradition, I am going to shop. With the small salary that I have, all of it goes into expenses. After that whatever gets saved, I cannot spend it coz of that hymn again.. ‘there is no time’. So Tuesday’s I am going to shop. Online shopping is easier and will get things delivered right at my doorsteps. So from a water bottle to my fav pair of jeans, I am going to shop for everything that I need and window shopping for all the things that I want. I want to shop online, because nobody makes a sour face when you go out of the store without buying, so… :P.
Day 3: Wednesday
I want to write again. As much as I love writing poetry, I love writing stories. I have written 3 short stories still now. They are not awesome or anything, but I like them.
So starting that magic 2 hour clock I am going to start writing again.
You may not believe me, but I have at least 17 stories in my mind which I would love to get on paper. I know the start, I know the climax and I know how every one of them is going to end. So why am I not starting… again.. the hymn ‘there is no time’ comes back. “OK, all right, you are just plain old lazy” you might say but just picturize this.
Travel for 1.30 hour every morning in the bus to reach office within 9:30 (if my boss is reading this, I try sir, I really try :P). Stay there for almost 10 in the night to reach back home by 11.30. I just don’t have the energy to be creative enough to write. So Wednesday’s I am going to assign to writing again, because I want to get published.
I know I have the ability to write stories which people would care about, even if they don’t turn out to be bestsellers. I know I have that within me and with these 2 hours I am going to complete that. I am going to write all the 17 stories, currently stored in ‘D:\THOUSIF\BRAIN\ SECTOR 37\ Stories to be turned into novel’ and try to get them published.
Day 4: Thursday
As soon as you step out of college and get into a job, you dedicate yourself into it in such a way that you forget some things. In my case, it was my friends.
Yes, I am a horrible person; I can say that by the dirty looks that you are giving to me. Trust me, not a day goes by where I don’t remember them. Everyone has done something special for me and I remember them every day, just not able to pick up that phone and call them.
Work does stress me out, where a brief might come any minute and I have to run into a meeting. So starting my mystical 2 hour clock, every Thursday I am going to call every one of my friend even if it’s for 5 mins and let them know that I care about them.
I have always believed in the value of friendship and with this vow, I am going to keep the promise made. No matter what happens, these 2 hours are dedicated to my friends.
Day 5: Friday
I start this day with a smile because I know tonight is going to be the start of the weekend. I am going to start the 2 hours and I am going to plan what I am going to do in the weekend. Every week the same thing happens, either I plan too late or I just do things in such a hurry that nothing satisfies me. I have to read the novels I rent on the bus, I don’t even have time to just sit back and relax to read a book. So I am going to sit down on Friday, switch on to my fav internet station and plan out the things to be done for the weekend.
Day 6: Saturday
My fav day, because I can get up in the morning anytime I want as it’s a holiday. Yayyyyy :P. Still I don’t understand one thing about holidays. As soon as you get up, the day goes so fast and turns into night in a blink, even if you are doing absolutely nothing.
Here’s an example of how that happens: Get up at 11, bathe, breakfast, till then it’s time for lunch, I watch a lil TV its already four and till I plan to do anything its 10 o clock.
So the Saturday that is going to come I am going to work on what I planned on Friday and I want to do something that I have not done for a long time (Read: Almost never)
I live in Bangalore, so on Saturday I want to hop on the first bus and reach Madikeri, my hometown where my parents live. The ride is almost 7 hours and till I reach it’ll almost be evening. I just want to reach home take a bath and activate those 2 hours and within these 2 hours I want to cook with my mom.
I want to do it because, my mom has been very lonely after my sister passed away 2 years ago. I haven’t been able to give her proper time because of my studies, projects, and work. I want to be with her to talk to her and know everything happened in that week, and I want to cook because I want my mom to know that I care for the things she loves. She loves cooking but because I live so far away she has lost her interest in it. She feels there’s no one to cook for. I want to reinstate her confidence and show her that I care about her and I care about her cooking, and I want to be there for her to see her smile while we are having dinner. I want to use those 2 hours for that, to see her smile.
Day 7: Sunday
Another holiday, I am home and I can wake up to the sweetest alarm I’ve heard in a long time. My mom yelling my name asking me to wake up and take a shower :P. I have missed that alarm for 3 years now. The thing about mothers is that, you only get to know their true value after you are on your own.
So I want to listen to her voice calling my name and then go down and hug her and say good morning and devote the day to the most important person in my life, my dad.
Being in his shop all day for the past 27 years my dad has done a lot. He has worked day and night, even on Sunday’s, to give me a good life. I want to be there for him and help him with the shop. Activating my 2 hours, I want to help him more in the shop to give him that 2 extra hours of sleep which he has lost for the past 27 years. I would savour every minute of it and I would love to see the fresh look in his eyes when he wakes up again.
As evening comes, I would say goodbye to them and catch a bus back to Bangalore to start my week again, but this time I would have the magical and very very useful clock of 2 extra hours in my pocket. The 2 hours which would let me do all the things that I love and care about.
All this would be possible with the 2 extra hours I’d get from Surf Excel Matic where I can turn the hymn ‘…butthere is no time’ to ‘ …but I have 2 extra hours’. The 2 hours that I get, I am going to spend making a lot of memories and I know that I’d love each minute of it.
This post was written for the Indiblogger competition ‘If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it?’
I want to thank Indiblogger and Surf Excel Matic for giving me a platform to express what I felt. I had a lovely time writing this post; it would not have been possible if not for them. Thank you.
Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.
If you are thinking when did part 2 come out… well it will come out… but in the last post one of my fav bloggers suruchi *hugs and kisses her* ;) asked me to talk about a particular incident so I am writing about it now. This incident happened after the incidents which I wanted to reveal earlier, so now part 3…. Now put your finger on your lips (sexily ;)) and read :).
Life experience #43 : Getting thrown into a river(or was it a stream… anybody know the difference? ;)) …40ft deep and feeling awesome :D
To start with I have to tell you, I was always a kid who was his parents fav and they protected me more than how angry birds protected their eggs :P… it was always school and home, college and home. I dint mingle with frenz much and always used to be home more than outside. And I don’t blame them, my mom loves me a lot and she dint want anything to happen to me, so she always insisted to come back home early.
In all these I lost out on many moments. When my frenz used to call me to someplace suddenly, I was always skeptical. Should I go? Shouldn't i? What would mom think, I was such a momma’s boy! :P, anyways coming back to the issue, I never hung out much with frenz, I wanted to but just dint wanna upset my mom too.
But coming to Bangalore, WOW, as I have said I have done a ton of things, and one among them is being thrown into that river.
Arpit and suruchi get angry and say: ‘Ab story shuru kare gab hi, ya sirf back story bolta rahega?, we know u were kind of a wuss :P and u became bolder after coming to bang, start with the near death experience all ready!!’
Ok suruchi ok :P he he. I can imagine her smile and it looks beautiful, (I donno about arpit, coz I don’t imagine him like that ;). Still his smile is cute too, I’ve heard a couple of girls say , don’t ask who arpit :P, it’s a secret).
So back to the story, Chavan is a magician, I donno how is does it. One moment he is suffering with a 104 degree typhoid fever, next moment he is saying: ‘Pack your bags we are going to Goa’ :P… he is so eccentric and lively and I love that fact about him,this time though it was the trip to a nearby place called Dubare forest :) (its famous for elephants)
(Actual Dubare Images :))
Being in kodagu all my life, I still hadn’t visited a lot of places. So for Dussera he said he is going out with his frenz and asked me to come along. I was being lazy again, but he insisted and next thing I know I am in madikeri (my hometown :D) sleeping in the room chavan and his friend rented. Let me now introduce the 3 very interesting frenz of chavan(and mine too :D)
Chandan (this guy is the definition of cool)
Amit Vikram (He the funnest person I have known, when drunk :P)
Mr silent good hearted person (Actually I forgot his name :P, sorry yaar :P)
So all these guys including me and chavan were in madikeri. Chandan is a guy with multiple pluses. He is good with cracking jokes, can hold onto to his liquor like a rock, and knows to make awesome cocktails too. So that day in the room we all sat down and he started preparing cocktails for everyone. I looked at him in awe as he concocted a potion with… hold your horses… Mango ‘Slice’(yes the juice). Nimbooz :P, Teachers brandy, lil lime and Salt on the edges of the glass ;)
I donno what it’s called, but all the guys who drank it, loved it. What started as just one glass turned to 2, 3, almost 4. (They stopped because the salt ran out :P). I was seeing them enjoy and I really wanted to steal a glass and taste it, just dint, couldn’t,( maybe I will cross that barrier one day too :)). But as I saw them enjoy, the same feeling came as the last time. Happy, content, and free (without being drunk ;)) and I loved it.
Amit is THE guy when it comes to laugh. At one time I asked him ‘dude how do you laugh?’ He started and that was the end of it … ha ha ha my god, it was so funny … Its like a combination of Ravan+The joker of batman and its LOUD :d.. We laughed and laughed and Chavan was like, ‘Oh stop you’re gonna make me throw up :P’. Honestly at that moment I saw and felt what I had been missing all these years. Hanging around frenz is fun, drunk frenz is even more fun :P. I have never had so much fun as I had here IN MY LIFE and it was just getting started.
Night grew, we went out outside where everyone was enjoying the festival of dusshera by dancing in front of the temple idols. These guys danced like crazy, I wanted to join in but had the camera in my hand, so I went my back to the room and till I dumped and came back, I saw everyone was exhausted. Still it dint dampen our spirit to roam around in the night.
Actually the thing is, in Madikeri the night is awesome on Dusshera, because the whole city is lighted up and devotees build huge creations of god and demons to tell the story through mock models, which are huge, usually taking up almost 3 to 4 tractors. There are 10 temples who make these models and prizes are distributed for best 3, people finish up celebrating dussera in Mysore and leave to Madikeri for the night, it’s so popular.
We too wanted to see what each temple had done, but Amit vikram was so exhausted and dizzy from the dancing, that we saw him puking at the side of the road … and it was funny. The way he was swaying from side to side, the way he almost got his butt beaten by a cop, while he was sitting on the road, and even after puking multiple times was full of energy to roam the whole city :P.
It was FUN, just being there, it was so fun. Chavan looked at his condition and said ‘Lets go back we are in no position to roam the city with this heavy head feeling, and we’d probably get our asses whooped with Mr crazy Amit here acting as Kistu Mukherjee every 2 mins’. So we saw the intelligence in his decision and went back and crashed on our beds.
To be continued…
(I know you all are boo hoo, where is the real story you cunning fox :P… but the post has grown long, I’ll post the rest soon, till then I hope you had fun reading it. I will post soon promise, see I promised and came back right? ;), so I will be back soon :))
Till then. Take care. I love you all. Happy Diwali BTW :)
Love to each and every one of my reader, I love you all, hope you guys have a grand diwali, be safe and have tons of fun ok :). Love you
I am so lazy guys nai? sometimes I am so lazy that I myself am surprised ke MY GOD, how lazy can i be...
EVIL M: is par awards bante hain America may... * laziest kamina award* char pade huwe hai tv ke upar... gadha..
(Rolls eyes) hmm to what I was saying ke… I had been reading one of my old posts...
EVIL M: Ahaha (Enter old 70's style saas blaming bahu voice) karam jali ke karname to dekho... dusroon ke blog nahi padta... khud ke blog post bar bar padte rehta hai... stupid..
Haan dey galiyan de... pura haq hai tujhe...
EVIL M: galiyan nahi... bum pay char laat padegi na... tabhi.. tabhi pata chalega tujhe... kaash arpit or suruchi kahin ass pass hote... itne lagwata tujhe... itne lagwate na... hmph
EVIL M naraz hai... kya aap log bhi naraz ho? (Gum naam hai koi song plays in the background because of all the sanaata as people are nowhere to be found) mere khayal say ho...
The reason for the blog post is solely you guys... every one of you reader out there... I read the Bangalore kid post... and I read the comments and I felt so good... reading all your comments it made me smile so much...
Yes I am busy... yes I don’t have time to even pee sometimes...
EVIL M: Kuch chahiye kya... not peeing problem solve karne ke liye? jaise ki... he he *evil laugh*... diaper mangwadun adult wale.. size 'S' :P ha ha ha... I am laughing so much..
EVIL nai sudharega... I have no time... but I so wanna write. I did some amazing things ... and amazing things happened to me... like I was caught by the police one time and also where I was thrown into a 40 feet deep water hole even when I said to a guy that I donno swimming... and those incidents are true... unlike the other fancy ones i mention sometimes... and I so wanna write... but am not able to find time.. I will write... I am making a promise now... that I will write about all those times... :)
Any way this is just a update to tell you.. I miss you guys and yeah I am alive... I miss all you guys who read my blog and love me so much... I love you all for coming here.. reading whatever I put out (EVIL M: which is mostly crap :P) and loving me so much..
It felt really great to read those comments... I read them at least 10 times ... so guys thank you so much... you guys always make me smile with your comments... :)
I will be back soon... promise :)... this time real promise... not the promise tooth paste wala promise... (Is that toothpaste even in production rgt now ?:P)
The beauty of this world starts from the first moment the sun wakes up in the morning. Flowers bloom inviting the day to live for its fullest glory. Birds sing along in hope and enthusiasm getting ready for a new and exciting adventure. And every person in this planet wakes up thinking… ‘Oh hell I’m late again’..
Human, is a very intriguing species. I can say that with full confidence, because I am a human myself. (Most would doubt that fact seeing my wired antics like a monkey everyday ;))
Considering all the other species, human is the most complex being of all, and yet is the most beautiful creation of god. If I sit down to point out how human is the most beautiful creation, it’ll be another year till I finish, so I’ll only say the very important ones. Starting with… Birth.
The beauty of life starts with the first day we come into this world. Even though we are crying while we arrive, that day everyone is smiling, because that is the day everyone in that delivery room believes that world is not such a bad place after all. Looking into the baby’s eyes, everyone believes that, life is beautiful. That day there is so much of joy and happiness, that one would want nothing else, nothing at all. Beauty starts that day, that moment, because as we arrive, we bring that joy, happiness, hope, delight and pleasure into everyone's lives around us.
Love.
As we grow we learn many things, our first steps, first words, first naughty tricks and as we grow, we tend to learn one very special thing. We learn to love.
Starting with the first things we learnt, to the first person we saw (not the doctor who delivered us :P), we learn to love each deed and each person whom we spend our time with. As a child we don’t even know what love is, but still we love a lot of things.
This course of love takes us through a sea of emotions throughout our lives. From the first steps to school, to the first time we bunk it. From the first time we break a rule to the first time we admit it.
Love is such a strong force that it makes a human who is. Starting with our parents to that first special someone we feel for. Love has a beauty of its own.
It makes us believe, it teaches us to trust, it shows us how beautiful life can be and shows us, that no other force in the world can compete to this, love would suffice. Love is enough.
Some would argue when I say every single thing we do is for love, like even brushing your teeth or taking a bath. But honestly every human does some or the other thing for love, just for love. That is the power of love. That is the beauty of love.
Death
One of the things almost every human goes through in his life is seeing death, some way or the other everyone is affected by it. Couple of months ago our hearts went out for japan when it was struck by a tsunami, even people who weren’t affected by it were concerned and prayed for the country and its people, that no one loses their dear ones. That is how death connects every human on this planet.
Death as everyone says may bring horror and fear into someone’s life, but I would say it also gives us strength and power so that we learn how to live our life without that person. I can say that personally because I have been through my sister’s death.
We used to fight every day and get on each other’s nerves. My mother was fed up of stopping our fights, but still every day I used to share whatever happened in my life with her, and she did the same. We were like best frenz, and I remember her smile and the sparkle in her eyes, when she read a blog post I had written mentioning how special she is to me just 18 days before her death.
I remember that moment when I first got to know that she was no more, it was horrible. I cried like I had never cried before, I wanted to say so many things, apologize for all the faults and fights, but I couldn’t. Days after it, I and my parents lived like zombies; it was like somebody had hit a mute button on all our lives. But as days moved on, we learnt to smile remembering her memories, laugh remembering her antics with fixing her hair every morning, and that is how we grew strong as a family.
Death may seem like the greatest enemy of all time, and honestly it is, but death also makes us stronger, makes us trust more, gives us strength and teaches us to love our dear ones as much as we can, more than we can.
Death too has a beauty of its own, it is the most painful experience one has to go through, but still it teaches us, that we are stronger than what we believe ourselves to be, that bringing back that one smile on your parents face can be the most rejuvenating and satisfying experience ever. That it’s not death who conquers us, we conquer death, by learning to smile again, to be happy again and keep that person alive with our memories, and creating new ones as we live along.
Personally for me if I have to explain beauty, its life itself. Just living your life is the most incredible experience ever. The beauty of life is life itself, because it is journey like none other. We learn from every step we take and every decision we make, may it be good or bad. We live life.
Life is best lived within the moment, that is what i learnt after my sister's death. if i was sad all the time, i wouldn't have found the courage and strength to make my parents smile, and make them feel better and assure that i am there for them.
So all i wanna say is if you are happy, smile and laugh as much as you want. If you are sad, cry and wail to your heart’s content, because tomorrow is a new day. And that new day brings back that view of fresh blooming flowers, birds singing to wake you up with their sweet voices and your daily screams of… ‘Oh hell, I’m late again’ ;)…
This is my first submission for a competition at indiblogger... i couldn't have been more happier... thank you Indiblogger andYahoo for giving me this chance to express my views thank you :)
So i've got exams, that is like from 2 days from now.... so i wanna write many many(boring) new things but because i am so busy doing(lazy) things... i'll just stick to posting this poem which i wrote like a month ago... i just got up in the morning one day, took my pen and paper and started writing this poem, one my classmates said, its my best work till date :D, i was so happy... so here i present to you...
The Glories We Conquer
In the wake of the red mist, i open my eyes to see a flood
A flood of friends and foes scattered horrendously welcoming me. Lifeless
A second ago dying to open my eyes
Now only wishing if i were blind
A second ago what was filled with life
All now a proof of nightmares, A nightmare called death
The earth which smiled of a lively green
now only screams in the color of agony
The earth with a promise of warm sunshine
Now spews out a cold stench, reeking of bitterness and hatred
Perplexed, helpless, shocked i see
A sight which was never meant to be
The plants which once seeked water to flourish
Grow now with a taste of someone's life
A slow calm voice rises in my head
My mother teaching me when i was young
Every other man is your brother
I now in the distance see one, taking the life of another
Gathering the strength left in my arms, i stand up to a view of devastation
A moment of history made yesterday
A history no one will ever be proud of
I take a step forward and crush it into a stranger's eyes
The eyes which had dreamed of a son, growing now in his wife's womb
A son who will never see the shine
The shine of his father's green eyes
With another, i step onto a man's hands, breaking them. Forever
Hands which carried his daughter to school everyday, while he was home
Just like that i walk on,
from a warm place, where i took an oath to save every life,
to this wet place now, crushing and destroying dreams and memories
what starts as a walk, turns into a run. A run for my life
Falling into someone's arms which held life once,
to another's who always thought hatred was the answer
I cry now, breathing hard, cause i cant walk but crawl
So i crawl now, exhausted. My strength slipping down a stream of tears
Every movement i make, dragging me into a stench
A stench which seeps deep into my skin
Never to be washed of again
Crying, screaming and with utter despair
I reach the end of the sight
A sight no human should ever see
My mother waits for me in my distant home
Where she has promised me porridge, If i return home safe
Safe. A word me neither the world will ever believe in
Unwillingly and with an herculean attempt i pull myself up
to walk towards a will of mine, to live
A voice inside asking me just one question.................. "for what?"
Well, i know its a lil emotional, but don't be too sad cause i will be back to make u laugh sooooon... wish me that my exams go well, cause i haven't studied much(Read:Zilch :P) so... cya all soon. have a nice month ahead take care :)
Today is the day.... Today is that new, superb, bright day ......EVIL M: what? When you finally change your underwear?
M..... at least today you can let go biting my ass..God...Its the first day of the year...
EVIL M: there's no rule against it...and I wont let biting your ass ever, because lets face it, there wouldn't be much to me, if it weren't for embarrassing you or make fun of you in this space..
I will NEVER change... *Enter EVIL M's evil Smirk here*
So guys hi I know I promised I would wish you a new year so here I am on the first day of the year, wishing you.... A very very happy new year to you... :)
May all of you(only who read my blog regularly :P) have a really wonderful year ahead, and reach your goals which you've made to yourself and a little nearer to your dream life which you have always dreamed of. I wish you luck and loads of good health :)
EVIL M: and making out with girls :P, Thats my wish for boys, and for girls.. well you can always go for shopping with the guy, he'll hold your bags and even pay for the same :D, both happy :D
So thats the wishes from me and M both... now lets get down to the real (EVIL M:boring) deal
From like 2 or 3 or is it 4, 5 maybe anyway...i donno... I haven't blogged,
EVIL M: liar liar, ass on fire :P
whats with you and my ass.... ah if I let M out any further, he'll just be talking abt my ass all day...
EVIL M: Ass...
see, so anyways lets stop talking about my ass because lets face it, it is not only you who would be embarrassed to read about it, I too will be embarrassed to write about it
EVIL M: liar liar... as...
Oh shut up... so where was I ...Yes... the most important and the most awesome thing I did last year..
EVIL M: Kiss a girl like after 10 years in your life :P....
Shhh, hey thats private Ok no talking about it...
EVIL M: like your ass??? eh?... ;) *wink wink*
oh...*mentally strangles EVIL M* no you cant... krr..... Static... more static...
I haven't felt this good since 1998, the day when I fell on my head and suffered temporary memory loss :P... feels so good... so the topic I was talking about is...
*Glorious music playing* *Huge applause* *huge applause again* *again... ;)*
The day when I flew a plane(a real one ;))
It was a dark Sunday .....or Saturday morning in November (Yes I am bad with dates and days, and names... and clothes, socks, shoes, staying clean... and something else... anyway)
So it was someday and some date in November. My classmate and very dear friend Suguna Saravanan is married to Wing Commander N Saravanan.
pick up your jaws already, yeah I know the most cool people there ever are in mysore :P get over it :P he he
So she called me one night and said,
“There are some NCC students who are here in Mysore for a camp and my husband is accompanying them and will be in charge of a very special assignment, Teaching how to fly a plane” I was listening as she said, how its an awesome experience for the students where they can fly the plane accompanied by Wing Commander N Saravanan as the main pilot where the student is the co pilot, and at times they are given full control of the plane, but it was what she said in the end was the thing that took the breath out of my chest, when she asked me
“Would you like to try flying a plane?”
Me and EVIL M where like holy *beep* ..*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep pa beep beep*
in all the beeping I said Yes..
She said its just a joy ride but if I liked it, I could go to a competition and win a cup and all, if I had the talent and brains, EVIL M smirked at me at the point when she said brains, I gave him a dirty look.
So she told me that her husband would pick me up at 5.30 AM on a Sunday or Saturday morning from a place we decided.
I sat in my bed thinking just a day before, to reach the place at 5.30, i'd have to get up at 4 at least, wash my face in the ice cold water, make my hair look able, and go with my brother in the dead cold on a bike to the meeting place. And pee too, EVIL M made me remember, yeah that too.... I mentally made a checklist.
So thinking all this I went to my brother to solve the first thing of this puzzle and told him about my plan. He said sure, I'll take you no problem, I was so happy, because this brother of mine loves his sleep and he telling me, he'd take me, I felt so great I wanted to kiss him then and there, But EVIL M held me back saying, 'Dude, bhabi will get jealous, and surprised, and shocked and even a little suspicious....' So I controlled my emotions.;)
I got up at 4, pee'd, got ready, brushed before that :P, made my hair awesome and went to call my brother, he got up with sleepy red eyes(They just had a baby, now you know why I wanted to kiss him ;)) he pulled on a sweater onto himself and we went.
My god it was cold, it was like I was in Antarctica or something, fingers cold, face cold, Ass like stone, whoever think what may, I hugged my brother tighter, he got a lil uneasy, but dint say anything. Somehow with all the cold wind, the shivering, me howling in between(Twilight fever don't ask :P) we reached the place.
It was a road junction, there was no one except a girl with her mother, I went and asked is this the pick up place for the flight training, she said yes and we waited and exactly at 5.29 (That day I got to know about punctuality :)) there it was... a green or a yellow jeep(yeah i'm bad with colors too :P). I and the girl got in with another girl coming just before we left, or was she already inside, I don't remember, it was long time ago yaar, understand :P he he. So anyways we got in.
Wing Commander N Saravanan introduced himself and that day I got to know a little about introductions too, strong, sturdy and in control, I squeakily said hi,(It was because of the cold ok :P) and we started talking, he said how he handles camp in between his army duties and he said how good the experience can be. He then talked about the aspect of me in the competition. He said I had to study, trigonometry, calculus and all other maths stuff if I had to continue after today.
I failed in all those when I was studying my PUC, yes those exact subjects, how can one let kids read that subject, its so horrible and my test scores were like alien readings every time. Ask my dad he'll tell you...
but there were kids studying PUC in the jeep so I couldn't exactly blurt out the truth I said. “I have studied them in my PUC so if I brush up on them maybe I can compete” EVIL M was like a maniac laughing away saying 'I want front row tickets to see that, oh cross that, I will have them anyway because i'm in your brain' We talked a lil more and reached the place.
6.02 on the clock an we were at the Mysore airport, we had a quick tea and the officers residing there brought out the plane. A Micro lite something (i donno the exact number)
I took a look at it and it seemed like a toy plane, small engine with tarpeline like wings and tail fin, and I was like... i'll fly this plane into another oblivion and get it back.
'Say that while you are in the air, Johnny Bravo' said EVIL M
The wing commander got in with another joy rider who had come with us, vivek, vishwas, or something. (lets call him vicky)
After a few seconds. They started the engine.
OH.MY.GOD. The sound was deafening, unreal. The engine which looked so small earlier roared like an angry lion, I donno the HP and all, but the sound,wow it was the most powerful thing i'd ever heard, EVER. They took the plane and went riding it like a bike to the airport landing strip. I and the other students went inside the Plane shelter and waited, and after some time I saw the plane was air bound and circling above us, I looked at the plane and I was like, i'd be flying that that in a few minutes, I was excited and a little scared and..
EVIL M:... pee'd in my pants.
Yeah, I mean no, I was just amazed, utterly amazed to look at the plane and see it fly. After some time the officers said to get on the jeep where we could go to the landing strip everybody got it and we reached the landing strip, a few minutes later the plane after circling another time above us landed.
I looked at vicky's face, it was white as a zombie. The officers said i'm next, As I walked to the plane I saw vicky walking towards me as we met in the middle he looked at me, I saw his eyes, deep and black, and..
EVIL M:.. fell in love.... :P
no it wasn't like I was looking for love in his eyes or something, his eyes were speaking.. something like this 'Holy *beep* dude, that was awesome, but i'm too cold to speak'
I looked at the time it was 6.30, the sun was coming up brightly as I took my first(awkward) steps into the plane. It was a 2 seater, The captain N saravanan told me to put on my headphones, they were huge, I slipped them on and then he guided me about the controls I practiced it for 5 minutes while I got comfortable, he then slowly took the plane air bound.
I was in the air holding the controls, but he(the captain) was maneuvering it, I was just looking at the view, oh my god, its completely different, people who have traveled in plane(With window side seats ;)) will know what i'm talking about, but this was completely different because I was directly in control. Not technically but still I had the controls ok. So it is being in control
EVIL M: Dummy controlled.. :P
Yeah yeah whatever, but I was in control, I just kept enjoying it as we finished half a round when he said, “i'll give you the controls now, just the handle you try maneuvering it”
Holy *beep* the moment I expected had come. The engine roaring in front of me, and me on the controls, I turned a lil to the left I saw the plane going to the left. It was like my whole body was in a drum full of adrenaline. The cold air, the excitement. Whew. It was exhilarating. Pure thrill pure pure thrill, now I know why pilots love their job.
I then turned a lil to the right, while the plane nosed down, the captain said to pull it a lil up and I did the same, the plane rising, and I steadied it up.
As I was coming towards the landing strip he advised me on how to land it, but I got confused and came down a lil soon, so he took it up again, and I controlled the whole next round, this time too, the view, the thrill, the excitement exactly the same. I felt something else at that moment like no one could catch me and I could do anything. I dint feel the cold air, I dint feel any fear, it felt like I was experiencing freedom in a whole new meaning and manner. I got so jealous of the birds flying beside me that morning, I thought blessed are these birds who get to experience it everyday, and mentally thanked god for showing me this day.
I screwed up the landing controls again so the captain landed it for me, I controlled it, but he applied the brakes and made it land safely :P
The captain asked me, “Do you wanna participate into the competitions?, because if you do you would have to put in a lot of work, morning 6 to evening till you sleep, you have to be very dedicated, because in the competitions they'll be no one if you go wrong, maths is what will save you, so you have to work very much on it”
I really wanted to say yes, I really would have gone to tuitions and stuff and studied, but with my course study it would have been just too hectic, so said “I cannot, with my course work, with my lab journals I just cannot”,
He said “Its Ok, I understand, we can do this another time when i'm free, just the joy ride”
I got out and I had a big smile on my face, I was walking out when vicky asked me 'how was the cold above?'
'I said I dint feel it, I just felt awesome'
He said 'I salute you dude, I do' and smiled.
Later I saw the other students boarding the plane and controlling from the initial point, the start, the take off, landing, everything done by themselves and these were kids who were studying just 12th, I felt so bad, not because those students could ride the plane, but being so young they had experienced what I hadn't. I remembered my school teacher's words when she asked us to join the NCC, and we being the punk and naive boys we were, thought NCC is not 'fun' enough. How I regret it now. But nonetheless I was happy, so happy, it was like a experience of a lifetime. It took a lot of time sinking in. I called Suguna and thanked her for the wonderful opportunity she gave me. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't even get near to touch a plane, let alone fly it. I cannot thank her enough.
So there it is, the experience of a lifetime. I'll tell you, flying a airplane big or small is a experience like none other, none other at all. It is just something else, it's like you are not bound to anything, where you belong to just yourself.
Being the pilot is tiring but I think its the best job there is, because you get to love what you do, and experience freedom in its truest sense, given the change to re-live my life, I would really opt to being a pilot,ace in my maths test before that :P. but nonetheless learning maths is so worth for being a pilot. Its a wonderful wonderful feeling flying a plane, I tell you that :)
So thats me.. I wish you had a nice time reading about it. :) because I had a great time writing it.... so anyways its already late. I hope you have many things to attend to,
EVIL M: passing out after drinking too much being one of the things :P
M!!! anyway.. I wish you a great year ahead, and may you have experiences like none you had last year, let them be completely new and completely awesome. Not like like being stuck in a toilet without toilet paper, or kissing your girlfriend and getting to know its actually her newly married sister-in-law. No those experiences are horrible, the aftermath being the worst of it and not just by the hands of your girlfriend, there are other 'hands' involved to... I just wish you an awesome year ahead...
and this is just a part of awesomeness i had last year... i'll be back with more :D...take care love you all :)
