So i've got exams, that is like from 2 days from now.... so i wanna write many many(boring) new things but because i am so busy doing(lazy) things... i'll just stick to posting this poem which i wrote like a month ago... i just got up in the morning one day, took my pen and paper and started writing this poem, one my classmates said, its my best work till date :D, i was so happy... so here i present to you...
The Glories We Conquer
In the wake of the red mist, i open my eyes to see a flood
A flood of friends and foes scattered horrendously welcoming me. Lifeless
A second ago dying to open my eyes
Now only wishing if i were blind
A second ago what was filled with life
All now a proof of nightmares, A nightmare called death
The earth which smiled of a lively green
now only screams in the color of agony
The earth with a promise of warm sunshine
Now spews out a cold stench, reeking of bitterness and hatred
Perplexed, helpless, shocked i see
A sight which was never meant to be
The plants which once seeked water to flourish
Grow now with a taste of someone's life
A slow calm voice rises in my head
My mother teaching me when i was young
Every other man is your brother
I now in the distance see one, taking the life of another
Gathering the strength left in my arms, i stand up to a view of devastation
A moment of history made yesterday
A history no one will ever be proud of
I take a step forward and crush it into a stranger's eyes
The eyes which had dreamed of a son, growing now in his wife's womb
A son who will never see the shine
The shine of his father's green eyes
With another, i step onto a man's hands, breaking them. Forever
Hands which carried his daughter to school everyday, while he was home
Just like that i walk on,
from a warm place, where i took an oath to save every life,
to this wet place now, crushing and destroying dreams and memories
what starts as a walk, turns into a run. A run for my life
Falling into someone's arms which held life once,
to another's who always thought hatred was the answer
I cry now, breathing hard, cause i cant walk but crawl
So i crawl now, exhausted. My strength slipping down a stream of tears
Every movement i make, dragging me into a stench
A stench which seeps deep into my skin
Never to be washed of again
Crying, screaming and with utter despair
I reach the end of the sight
A sight no human should ever see
My mother waits for me in my distant home
Where she has promised me porridge, If i return home safe
Safe. A word me neither the world will ever believe in
Unwillingly and with an herculean attempt i pull myself up
to walk towards a will of mine, to live
A voice inside asking me just one question.................. "for what?"
Well, i know its a lil emotional, but don't be too sad cause i will be back to make u laugh sooooon... wish me that my exams go well, cause i haven't studied much(Read:Zilch :P) so... cya all soon. have a nice month ahead take care :)
Today is the day.... Today is that new, superb, bright day ......EVIL M: what? When you finally change your underwear?
M..... at least today you can let go biting my ass..God...Its the first day of the year...
EVIL M: there's no rule against it...and I wont let biting your ass ever, because lets face it, there wouldn't be much to me, if it weren't for embarrassing you or make fun of you in this space..
I will NEVER change... *Enter EVIL M's evil Smirk here*
So guys hi I know I promised I would wish you a new year so here I am on the first day of the year, wishing you.... A very very happy new year to you... :)
May all of you(only who read my blog regularly :P) have a really wonderful year ahead, and reach your goals which you've made to yourself and a little nearer to your dream life which you have always dreamed of. I wish you luck and loads of good health :)
EVIL M: and making out with girls :P, Thats my wish for boys, and for girls.. well you can always go for shopping with the guy, he'll hold your bags and even pay for the same :D, both happy :D
So thats the wishes from me and M both... now lets get down to the real (EVIL M:boring) deal
From like 2 or 3 or is it 4, 5 maybe anyway...i donno... I haven't blogged,
EVIL M: liar liar, ass on fire :P
whats with you and my ass.... ah if I let M out any further, he'll just be talking abt my ass all day...
EVIL M: Ass...
see, so anyways lets stop talking about my ass because lets face it, it is not only you who would be embarrassed to read about it, I too will be embarrassed to write about it
EVIL M: liar liar... as...
Oh shut up... so where was I ...Yes... the most important and the most awesome thing I did last year..
EVIL M: Kiss a girl like after 10 years in your life :P....
Shhh, hey thats private Ok no talking about it...
EVIL M: like your ass??? eh?... ;) *wink wink*
oh...*mentally strangles EVIL M* no you cant... krr..... Static... more static...
I haven't felt this good since 1998, the day when I fell on my head and suffered temporary memory loss :P... feels so good... so the topic I was talking about is...
*Glorious music playing* *Huge applause* *huge applause again* *again... ;)*
The day when I flew a plane(a real one ;))
It was a dark Sunday .....or Saturday morning in November (Yes I am bad with dates and days, and names... and clothes, socks, shoes, staying clean... and something else... anyway)
So it was someday and some date in November. My classmate and very dear friend Suguna Saravanan is married to Wing Commander N Saravanan.
pick up your jaws already, yeah I know the most cool people there ever are in mysore :P get over it :P he he
So she called me one night and said,
“There are some NCC students who are here in Mysore for a camp and my husband is accompanying them and will be in charge of a very special assignment, Teaching how to fly a plane” I was listening as she said, how its an awesome experience for the students where they can fly the plane accompanied by Wing Commander N Saravanan as the main pilot where the student is the co pilot, and at times they are given full control of the plane, but it was what she said in the end was the thing that took the breath out of my chest, when she asked me
“Would you like to try flying a plane?”
Me and EVIL M where like holy *beep* ..*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep pa beep beep*
in all the beeping I said Yes..
She said its just a joy ride but if I liked it, I could go to a competition and win a cup and all, if I had the talent and brains, EVIL M smirked at me at the point when she said brains, I gave him a dirty look.
So she told me that her husband would pick me up at 5.30 AM on a Sunday or Saturday morning from a place we decided.
I sat in my bed thinking just a day before, to reach the place at 5.30, i'd have to get up at 4 at least, wash my face in the ice cold water, make my hair look able, and go with my brother in the dead cold on a bike to the meeting place. And pee too, EVIL M made me remember, yeah that too.... I mentally made a checklist.
So thinking all this I went to my brother to solve the first thing of this puzzle and told him about my plan. He said sure, I'll take you no problem, I was so happy, because this brother of mine loves his sleep and he telling me, he'd take me, I felt so great I wanted to kiss him then and there, But EVIL M held me back saying, 'Dude, bhabi will get jealous, and surprised, and shocked and even a little suspicious....' So I controlled my emotions.;)
I got up at 4, pee'd, got ready, brushed before that :P, made my hair awesome and went to call my brother, he got up with sleepy red eyes(They just had a baby, now you know why I wanted to kiss him ;)) he pulled on a sweater onto himself and we went.
My god it was cold, it was like I was in Antarctica or something, fingers cold, face cold, Ass like stone, whoever think what may, I hugged my brother tighter, he got a lil uneasy, but dint say anything. Somehow with all the cold wind, the shivering, me howling in between(Twilight fever don't ask :P) we reached the place.
It was a road junction, there was no one except a girl with her mother, I went and asked is this the pick up place for the flight training, she said yes and we waited and exactly at 5.29 (That day I got to know about punctuality :)) there it was... a green or a yellow jeep(yeah i'm bad with colors too :P). I and the girl got in with another girl coming just before we left, or was she already inside, I don't remember, it was long time ago yaar, understand :P he he. So anyways we got in.
Wing Commander N Saravanan introduced himself and that day I got to know a little about introductions too, strong, sturdy and in control, I squeakily said hi,(It was because of the cold ok :P) and we started talking, he said how he handles camp in between his army duties and he said how good the experience can be. He then talked about the aspect of me in the competition. He said I had to study, trigonometry, calculus and all other maths stuff if I had to continue after today.
I failed in all those when I was studying my PUC, yes those exact subjects, how can one let kids read that subject, its so horrible and my test scores were like alien readings every time. Ask my dad he'll tell you...
but there were kids studying PUC in the jeep so I couldn't exactly blurt out the truth I said. “I have studied them in my PUC so if I brush up on them maybe I can compete” EVIL M was like a maniac laughing away saying 'I want front row tickets to see that, oh cross that, I will have them anyway because i'm in your brain' We talked a lil more and reached the place.
6.02 on the clock an we were at the Mysore airport, we had a quick tea and the officers residing there brought out the plane. A Micro lite something (i donno the exact number)
I took a look at it and it seemed like a toy plane, small engine with tarpeline like wings and tail fin, and I was like... i'll fly this plane into another oblivion and get it back.
'Say that while you are in the air, Johnny Bravo' said EVIL M
The wing commander got in with another joy rider who had come with us, vivek, vishwas, or something. (lets call him vicky)
After a few seconds. They started the engine.
OH.MY.GOD. The sound was deafening, unreal. The engine which looked so small earlier roared like an angry lion, I donno the HP and all, but the sound,wow it was the most powerful thing i'd ever heard, EVER. They took the plane and went riding it like a bike to the airport landing strip. I and the other students went inside the Plane shelter and waited, and after some time I saw the plane was air bound and circling above us, I looked at the plane and I was like, i'd be flying that that in a few minutes, I was excited and a little scared and..
EVIL M:... pee'd in my pants.
Yeah, I mean no, I was just amazed, utterly amazed to look at the plane and see it fly. After some time the officers said to get on the jeep where we could go to the landing strip everybody got it and we reached the landing strip, a few minutes later the plane after circling another time above us landed.
I looked at vicky's face, it was white as a zombie. The officers said i'm next, As I walked to the plane I saw vicky walking towards me as we met in the middle he looked at me, I saw his eyes, deep and black, and..
EVIL M:.. fell in love.... :P
no it wasn't like I was looking for love in his eyes or something, his eyes were speaking.. something like this 'Holy *beep* dude, that was awesome, but i'm too cold to speak'
I looked at the time it was 6.30, the sun was coming up brightly as I took my first(awkward) steps into the plane. It was a 2 seater, The captain N saravanan told me to put on my headphones, they were huge, I slipped them on and then he guided me about the controls I practiced it for 5 minutes while I got comfortable, he then slowly took the plane air bound.
I was in the air holding the controls, but he(the captain) was maneuvering it, I was just looking at the view, oh my god, its completely different, people who have traveled in plane(With window side seats ;)) will know what i'm talking about, but this was completely different because I was directly in control. Not technically but still I had the controls ok. So it is being in control
EVIL M: Dummy controlled.. :P
Yeah yeah whatever, but I was in control, I just kept enjoying it as we finished half a round when he said, “i'll give you the controls now, just the handle you try maneuvering it”
Holy *beep* the moment I expected had come. The engine roaring in front of me, and me on the controls, I turned a lil to the left I saw the plane going to the left. It was like my whole body was in a drum full of adrenaline. The cold air, the excitement. Whew. It was exhilarating. Pure thrill pure pure thrill, now I know why pilots love their job.
I then turned a lil to the right, while the plane nosed down, the captain said to pull it a lil up and I did the same, the plane rising, and I steadied it up.
As I was coming towards the landing strip he advised me on how to land it, but I got confused and came down a lil soon, so he took it up again, and I controlled the whole next round, this time too, the view, the thrill, the excitement exactly the same. I felt something else at that moment like no one could catch me and I could do anything. I dint feel the cold air, I dint feel any fear, it felt like I was experiencing freedom in a whole new meaning and manner. I got so jealous of the birds flying beside me that morning, I thought blessed are these birds who get to experience it everyday, and mentally thanked god for showing me this day.
I screwed up the landing controls again so the captain landed it for me, I controlled it, but he applied the brakes and made it land safely :P
The captain asked me, “Do you wanna participate into the competitions?, because if you do you would have to put in a lot of work, morning 6 to evening till you sleep, you have to be very dedicated, because in the competitions they'll be no one if you go wrong, maths is what will save you, so you have to work very much on it”
I really wanted to say yes, I really would have gone to tuitions and stuff and studied, but with my course study it would have been just too hectic, so said “I cannot, with my course work, with my lab journals I just cannot”,
He said “Its Ok, I understand, we can do this another time when i'm free, just the joy ride”
I got out and I had a big smile on my face, I was walking out when vicky asked me 'how was the cold above?'
'I said I dint feel it, I just felt awesome'
He said 'I salute you dude, I do' and smiled.
Later I saw the other students boarding the plane and controlling from the initial point, the start, the take off, landing, everything done by themselves and these were kids who were studying just 12th, I felt so bad, not because those students could ride the plane, but being so young they had experienced what I hadn't. I remembered my school teacher's words when she asked us to join the NCC, and we being the punk and naive boys we were, thought NCC is not 'fun' enough. How I regret it now. But nonetheless I was happy, so happy, it was like a experience of a lifetime. It took a lot of time sinking in. I called Suguna and thanked her for the wonderful opportunity she gave me. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't even get near to touch a plane, let alone fly it. I cannot thank her enough.
So there it is, the experience of a lifetime. I'll tell you, flying a airplane big or small is a experience like none other, none other at all. It is just something else, it's like you are not bound to anything, where you belong to just yourself.
Being the pilot is tiring but I think its the best job there is, because you get to love what you do, and experience freedom in its truest sense, given the change to re-live my life, I would really opt to being a pilot,ace in my maths test before that :P. but nonetheless learning maths is so worth for being a pilot. Its a wonderful wonderful feeling flying a plane, I tell you that :)
So thats me.. I wish you had a nice time reading about it. :) because I had a great time writing it.... so anyways its already late. I hope you have many things to attend to,
EVIL M: passing out after drinking too much being one of the things :P
M!!! anyway.. I wish you a great year ahead, and may you have experiences like none you had last year, let them be completely new and completely awesome. Not like like being stuck in a toilet without toilet paper, or kissing your girlfriend and getting to know its actually her newly married sister-in-law. No those experiences are horrible, the aftermath being the worst of it and not just by the hands of your girlfriend, there are other 'hands' involved to... I just wish you an awesome year ahead...
and this is just a part of awesomeness i had last year... i'll be back with more :D...take care love you all :)
So so so i'm not dead :P... ok you have heard that before, but still (guess it should be my daily status update :P) any hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
OK got a lil bit of tarzan into me :P so anyways... i'm ALIVE.... hurray :D
besides a couple of very low sounding yeah yeah's and under the cough swearing of 'oh shit' :P...i'll shamelessly continue!!
The year is coming to an end so there are a lot of memories to be shared
From the time i flew a plane(a real one), to a place where i lost like 10 competitions in 2 days but gained tremendous self confidence. From a place where i thought i'll somehow get up at 6 in the morning to a place where i slept at 2 every night(yeah it was the same day i made the resolution that i'll get up at 6 :P) Everything!!.... is to be shared.... but till that time (yes i'll be back again!! yes, this month itself. God u guys ask so many questions :P)
Here is something i wrote,so that u remember me by and appreciate the love we have in our lives :) enjoy..
EVIL M: Shut up and write quickly would ya... hey guys hi:) *wink, wink* that winks are only for the hot girls out there OK... gay boys... shoo shoo :P
Words are the only thing i can give to you my darling
Because they whisper a small volume of the valley of love, i have inside
Many feelings in my heart i feel
but words seem like a disgrace, to describe their true appeal
The feel of which i speak to you
is not just in my heart, its in my soul
because its yearns for and finds true love, in only.... your's
Its not just what we have in our hearts that makes us...We
Its who We are and what We have become
From the timeless eternity love has proved its place among us
And made everyone believe
That no matter what you are or who you might become
any day, and i mean any day, love..... will give you that strength
Even in the weakest times in your body, or
in the hardest of times in your lives
Love will always make you strong
and make you believe.
That love wasn't born out of life.
It was life, that was and always will be born out of
......Love
Till next time its me Thousif Raza, (and EVIL M ;), wassup girls!!!! ;)) singing off... have a blessed christmas :)... and no new year wishes cause i'll be back till then ;)
.....And if you wanna give me gifts, well send me a email, my account number is a big 16digit code ;)and CANNOT be leaked out so... jaldi say send me those emails ;)
Take care everyone...cya soon love you all..XOXO . Christmas hugs :) XOXO take care :) :) :)
So everybody's missing me which is so great to hear.... awesome... :D :D .... I was extremely busy this last month (work busy... not lazy busy :P) I was covering a international conference... got noted for my work...other things... taking bath for once... so you know. i was busy
But looking at you all miss me like this makes me all emotional... thank you so much guys for your constant support :) and sorry i haven't been around, i'll be ther as soon as i can.
I just wrote this couple of nights back... so I’ll be sharing it with you. I’ll be coming back soon, within a week, till then I hope you like it...
The Walk of life
No truth, no lie
On this path of nothingness I stand
Trying to prove what I want
Hundred paths leading to the same way
The only way where I want to be
Each one a mystery than the other
Everything what I believe in at stake
Every step I take. Careful
Will i meet my destiny as i've thought
Or will destiny itself pave new roads for me
The path of nothingness
Leading to everything lays ahead of me
Looking forward Unperturbed and unfollowed
I Walk
Here's another one...i wrote this one just last night...
Tell me i love you with so much depth
That the ocean itself, screams out looking at your's.
Tell me i love you with so much strength
That the hurricane falls down on its knees, weeping out of its glory.
Tell me i love you with so much intensity
That even the raging forest fire turns itself to dust, in shame.
Tell me i love you with so much love
That love itself may find its true worth today.
I havent named the latter one, so any suggestions are welcome, i hope to see you guys real soon, and thank you once again for your support :), love you all :)
So i'm not dead..... *silence* ok you can celebrate ;)
ok so i'm back like the undead mummy in all those mummy movies...... for past 2 months except remya nobody even cared to ask where was i!!! well tuku asked once and also anwesa... ok ok but nobody else... how mean of you guys... i loved you (for boys in a non gay manner mind you :P)....
anyways bad things aside today is a very special day... so i'll let you skip by... becasue today is friend jasmine's b'day :)
I met jasmine online 4 years back through orkut and we have been best frenz ever since and today is her b'day.. yay.. i'm so happy :)
It was jasmine who filled me up with confidence which i dint have and gave me a reason to live life... she has been a part of me all the time from i met her... she has been there when i creid, weeped, got kicked in the balls, when i fell in love with a girl, when i fell out of it, and rgt now when i chasing another ;)
Jasmine is the mrng sun... no matter how dark the ngt i can expect her always to come back :)... ok that wasn't original.. so i'll explain her in my own unique way...
Debaraty majumdar(i always miss spell her name, and i have a difficulty in pronouncing it ;) always :P)... or jasmine as i call her... made me what i am today... i was nerdy geek(even more) and shy as a new born calf when i met her(online ;)) but she showed me how the world is, how beautiful it can be... and how immense are the possibilities in which i can achieve my dreams :)
She has been my rain, my clouds, my sun, my sky, my earth, but most important my best friend :).... there is a part of me which remembers her everyday(even though i dont msg or call for like, months :P, because both of us are stingy :P)
But jasmine is one of my best gal pals :)... its because of her i learned how to talk to girls, how to impress them... how to become a man from the boy i really was... and thats just the one thing...there are so many more things that i have learned from her :)
Jasmine is the one i care about... everyday... even though she's far from me. e Every time i feel sad because of something i remember her... every moment i'm happy i wanna share it with her... and i'm so so glad that its her b'day today and even greater news that she landed a government job... in SBI y'day, which she was yearning for so long :)... i think god has his own way of giving us presents ... and i'm glad she is happy :)
Just wanna say happy birthday to my dear, very dear, cute, funny, sweet, best friend jasmine :) happy b'day to you :)... frenz for life, you and me jasmine :) take care
Well thats about that... guys i have so much to share and talk abt and i'm going to the indi blogger meet on Sunday to bangalore... its gonna be the first time i'm visiting it... and i'm so so so so excited... i'm so excited that my farts can blow me to the moon :P... anyway... cya very soon to share that and more experiences... :) love you all.... take care :)
