Do you know that some of the best thoughts occur to you while taking a bath.........

Because when I was taking a bath(which i rarely do ;)) yesterday, the thought that came to me was as evident as day light, but I couldn't see it earlier, as I thought more about it, I was so excited that I wanted to do something of this thought........

you know I always wondered why Archimedes, screamed 'Eureka' and ran out naked, I guess I now know why :)

Now don't let your imagination run wild, I dint run from the bathroom screaming “Eureka”, “Eureka”, (as much as I wanted to), but I dint something better

I came out 'after' dressing myself and sat down to write down the thought, and the thought is

GOOD GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST

You know its so true, person who are good and nice in nature, helpful to others always, and I mean always finish last. To prove that the band Green Day have also sung a song with the same name which brings more 'evidence' to my thought. ;)

The reason this happens is because you take the care of a person for granted, because one thinks, aah he/she is there na they always will be to care of us, thats the biggest and the most stupidest mistake one ever commits.

I think you all must have passed through this phase (If you have been good that is ;)) , that when you are always there for a person, caring about them and solving their problems ok. And when the problem is solved, the person just says how much he is thankful to have you and then couple of days later nothing, nada, no news from the person, when you message or call he/she doesn't even reply to it and we are thinking what has happened to him/ her, thoughts of something bad might have happened to them come to your mind, and you don't sleep properly in the night worrying about the person.

While after 3 months there is a scrap in your scrapbook saying “How r u? Howz life?” Aah its so irritating, first doing that and now doing this and when we reply saying “I am angry with you, why dint you reply to my msgs or calls?” 'couple of weeks later' another scrap comes saying “I was busy”

You know what is one sentence that I hate the most, its 'I WAS BUSY', its like telling you, “Dude I got better things to do than waste my time on you”, if you are so busy why don't you forget to dress everyday, its easy na yaar wearing no clothes you can save that time too so that you can be 'busy', why do you waste time to travel, just sleep and be at your damn office or school only and complete your 'busy' work. ugghhhhhh

I know I sound a (lot) little crazy, but its the truth, the least you can do is telling the person “Please don't feel bad I was doing some idiotic things which required my idiotic attention, I will return to my favorite idiot as soon as its done”, at least that will bring a smile on you friend's face, you will work everyday but you wont meet your friends everyday cant you at least do that by taking some seconds off from your so called 'busy' schedule??.

And just like Harshita and Kajal have said in their respective blogs some time earlier, Make someone smile today, its will not just bring happiness to that person but will make your life more beautiful too, really try it, and don't just do it for your friends but for anyone who is sad around you, trust me your day will brighten up like none other, kyon ki khushiya baatne se badti hain yaaro (because happiness gets doubled by sharing my dear friend).

I especially wanna say thank for all the guys, who make my day beautiful by sending me comments, you don't just give your opinion, but the words you leave behind spread so much happiness into my life that, you cannot possibly imagine about how happy I feel, thank you guys, thank you so very much.

I hope I made you smile today. :)

OK, so now the bottom line is WHY DO GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST??, the simple reason is because the person who cares for you is not cared enough, so focusing on that lemme just tell you please if you got a friend or a person who genuinely cares for you please for god sake I beg of you, don't take his/her caring for granted, but express how much you care for the person, if not everyday at least make it a habit to to say whenever you have time, it will not just bring happiness for your friend alone but for you too.

Status update: My journalism selection list went to hell, so no studying now, i am out on a job hunt, Reason was there was only one seat among 5o seats for students of 'Other university' (yeah life is cruel), and i wanna thank you for all the persons who supported me during my difficult time last week, i just cant thank you enough guys, than you for being there, thank you :)

Saying that I say sayonara, take care and make life around you beautiful by spreading smiles as much as you can. Take care.

Cries of a lonely heart

As I sit outside my house staring into a sense of nothingness that has engulfed in my life lately, I cant help but feel nostalgic, the feeling that I am just 150 kilometers away is the only consolation for that, but still being away from your family and your friends can be very hard for a guy who hasn't lived even 20 kilometers apart in his whole life.

As I look beside me towards the sun disappearing into the night, the hue that its leaving beyond is the prefect expression that my heart is feeling right now, it speaks about the emotions that I was once unable to feel, the wind whispers into my ears “You are alone my love, but I will be always be there for you” I just cant help but slip back into memories of how I become a person who I am now.

It was her birthday that day, 28^th December 2008 to be exact, and to give her surprise I had written about her on this very blog link. She was so happy after reading it, that she showed it to all her colleagues at work and they said, “you are very lucky to have a brother like him”, but I guess I wasn't lucky enough, because just after 18 days and that too just 2 days after my birthday, I lost the most important thing in my life, my happiness.

You know we say we share everything with our friends which we cannot share with our family, its true but still something’s which we cannot even share with our best friends we share it with our family members, and a sister or a brother are the best persons who understand our pain like none other.

My sister was the only source of happiness in my life, sure we fought everyday and I was jealous when she got more gifts for her birthday than me, but in my heart I always wanted to see her happy, but that wasn't to be as she left for a place where I cannot reach even if I want to, I miss her perking me up when I was down, I miss her stupid jokes which would make me smile, she was the one with whom I shared everything, but now when I want her to sit by my side and listen to my crying heart, she is nowhere to be found. Oh I miss her so much.

4 months back when I came to Mysore, I thought I would be able to forget the pain, how wrong I was.........., even though the pain has eased to a little extent, its still there like a never ending ocean and I guess it always will be, even though the happiness had come back to a little extent with my cousin brother, today that too was gone as he went to work almost 10 thousand kilometers away to a place called Panthnagar near Delhi, I am feeling so numb that the 2 persons who understood me better than myself are not with me, one has gone and even after an eternity will never come back and the other will not be with me for another year, The curse which had gone away for some time has come back and held me back so strong that its hard to breathe now.

The curse named loneliness has come back every time just when happiness had laid its beautiful footsteps into my life, like a soothing wave of cold air that comes just for a minute before an hour of loneliness holds me one more time.

The peacefulness which I found through sleep is now nowhere to be found, I wouldn't have written this, but the pain is so hard that today I had a feeling that, I should just leave writing, it scared me so much that I was crying at that moment, because writing to me is like breathing without which I cannot live for a moment, its like my passions, my ambitions, are all going dead, like a termite the curse is eating me from the inside and when I extend my hands for help they is no one.

I have seen this many times, things like this specifically happens to people who care about others a lot, who bear the pain thinking others might get hurt, who cover their own tears sensing another's pain and comfort them to make them feel better.

You know I never was the person I am now, cause even though I cared, I never felt a person's pain, but my sister's death changed all that, the emotions I felt that day were so intense, that I dint knew I had them in me, I was so depressed that if a moment where I could smile came to me I couldn't, because I felt I was committing some sort of a crime, but my friends in college were a great comfort at that period who helped me to come out of my pain, but after college ended they all went separate ways including me, that's when it went from better to worse cause the memories keep coming back every single day.

I just wish this phase would pass and I would be back to normal, but I think it will just be a dream.

If only i could find someone to share this pain, if only.......... Oh how I wish that dream came true, but I know it never will, because I think the curse will always be there, will always be there....... will always be there........,

Dusted from the past

When my friend jasmine told me that she liked reading poems, that was the 1st time when i thought of writing poems, i never believed that i could write them until she encouraged me

I started by writing this one below,

Poem 1
The time when I met u, the sun turned red
I suddenly thought is it time to bed?
But then I got to know what it means,
So beautiful it was, of all the scenes
It was a relationship, that no one knew,

I had found a beautiful friend it was you.

I know its not great, but she liked it and that boosted my confidence some more

The rest of the poems that you will read have all been written when i was in college listening to my lecturers :D, you will know the reason as you read them, have fun.

Poem 2
Sun, stars and moon I like to see
But it’s you, with whom I always wanna be,
I thought life is what, you make it to be
But it got its real meaning, with you as the key,
Never has someone come close to my heart
Without you, even a day I cannot leave apart.

Poem 3
The first time that I met you at a bay
All those beautiful dreams I saw in may,
It all came together in one piece
Like a moment one could never seize,
I got something as special as morning dew
Most precious & beautiful in my life, it’s you.

Poem 4
Money seems just like a waste
Even honey has lost its taste,
Morning sunrise doesn’t have that charm
When it appears above that farm,
It makes every moment in my life worthwhile
When I see that special warmth in your smile.

Poem 5
I gasped for a moment, when I first saw you
Because the beauty of your smile was so untrue,
I thought there was nothing to see in this world
But it got erased, as I was caught in your hold,
I can never forget that grace in your eyes
They can never be compared, even to the skies.

Parting Shot:"Whenever I count my blessings, your name comes first on my lips, because you are the best gift, god ever gifted me with"

And the above line is dedicated all of my beloved friends (yes you my blog readers) you make me happy everyday with your lovely comments, thank you,

The 'A' selection list of my college is coming up Friday so get back to praying for me OK ;), take care of yourself c ya soon.............

Laws of the past Hit or Flop?????

In my last post I had mentioned that in Gujarat, the chief minister is not approving scholarships for minorities and based on the couple of comments i got there, I found out that most of people don't like scholarships that are given on caste quota and would rather like scholarships based on the financial position of the student.

Well I discussed this with many peeps in my family, and guess what, they all had the same opinion, I and my mom frequently indulge in such debates, when i asked her about this she said “Government makes rules and then they are just bound by them, because when you make a rule or law some people like it and some don't and later when a decision is taken to change it, the persons who like it don't let the government change it, they protest and do all other things to stop it, why, just cause they are benefiting from it”

Same is the case with scholarships based on minorities, this system was all too good in the independence era, cause then the people really needed it, as minorities were among the smaller sections of the society, but now after almost 61 years of independence the whole position of the country has changed in such a way that nobody could imagine, but still the law remains that scholarships be given to “minorities”, but its turning out to be one of the biggest problems of the country, as many able students who are not “minorities” cannot continue their education further because of financial difficulties.

My cousin brother to feels the same he said “I totally agree, scholarships given to minorities should be stopped, and rather it should be given to those people who are not able to continue their education because they are financially distressed, it will not just help the poor section of the society but will improve the overall situation of the country, as able students will get through and not just because they are minorities”

The problem has taken a so diverse turn that now these quotas that they give to minorities is being misused, I have seen in some of the colleges they are just 2 seats for 'category 2B' i.e. Muslim category, they don't even look in the general category, I know you guys cant believe it, but seriously that is the case.

And its even worse in the field of job arena, for example teachers who are appointed for government schools in karnataka have just 2 seats reserved for Muslims in all over the state, they don't even look at the marks scored by the candidate, they see the category and put the application in that category and then select the candidate seeing the marks in only that category, my cousin sister is struggling for a government job from 10 years and every time its the same reason.

But no the people will not come forward and protest this why, cause they are “benefiting” from it, I mean come on, is it really the case??, why cant one see the bigger picture that, by providing quota's everyone is at loss including the one getting the quota's, we just need better laws and rules, but before that we need people to understand which is better and which is not, cause even we who are getting these so called quota's are not happy from it, lets just hope that happens fast and the situation gets better

With that I bid adieu, I especially wanna thank Gayathri and Ramya cause without them this post would never have been written, thx guys, well I got a a entrance exams tomorrow so pray nicely and wish me luck OK, take care c ya soon.

Peace, Frustration, Anger and a little of WTF!!!

Well I tasted success at last, the muddle that had appeared in my marks card is all solved now, even though the guy who was in charge of correcting those mistakes, was expecting money from me, I foiled his plan and made him send me the marks cards without paying any(Bribe)money, All thanks to my principal, who made him do it, even if he dint wanted to :P, But the same cant be said about the problem which I had, which came on me when I went to make an income certificate.

Oh my god, it was like I was having a bad nightmare which I couldn't get up from, I think anybody in India can relate to this situation, the problems they face when making a document which requires government officers approval are unimaginable, just like a rabbit popping out of the hat, the tricks just keep coming and coming, there is just no end, well here is the scenario of what happened to this poor soul.

Last Saturday I got to know that for all higher education courses, you have to attest income certificate too, (yeah dumb me, :P), so I traveled to my home town i.e. coorg and when I said it to my dad he said “Don't worry, it will just be ready within a day”, but when we went to the office we got to know, that the whole procedure was changed, you first have to visit a place called “Peace centre”( It was more like a hell centre ...), where you have to fill in a application, which they then send it to concerned officers, if everything goes in “Order”, you will get it after '15' days,

For a second I was in shock, cause i needed one within 5 days, and it seemed like an impossible task, when I asked the guy if he could quicken it up, he said, “Nothing Doing, it will at least take 12 days for sure whatever you do”,

I was doomed, but I filled out an application and gave to it the guy there, after this my dad called out his friend who was counselor of our area and said our problem, he agreed to help and the next day itself we ran to the officers, lemme tell you how this procedure works, first the village accountant prepares a report and signs it, this goes to the revenue inspector, he signs it, which then gets recorded in a computer record, then it gets passed on to the assistant of the Tahasildar she signs it, then to a clerk she signs it and then to Tahasildar where it gets signed for the final time, and then it comes back to the computer section where it gets updated and then finally we have to collect it back at the “Peace centre”, Hoof

I mean you get it right, now what if I told you we got to do this all in just 2 days!!!, (yeah I am good all right ;)), well it was not easy, cause at first my application was almost rejected cause the ass(the guy) at the “Peace centre” dint take the necessary signatures, and another reason being people there work so slow that even a snail would overtake them by miles, we had to run from this department to that saying our plea to every person, oh it was damn stressful.

Another funny thing that happened in between was, when the application reached the assistant, the woman checked the documents and asked me “Where is the proof that you are Muslim?”,
And at that moment I was like WTF?, first of all my name itself suggests that I am a Muslim, and when they gave me a income certificate 2 years earlier, they have mentioned clearly that I am a Muslim in that certificate too, when I told her this, the woman says, “That certificate is old, that cannot be considered now”, I mean wtf, Was I Muslim till that time only????, I asked her this, you know what she did, she just smiled, “what can I say, government rules” she says,

I then brought a stamp paper and registered myself from the notary, that I am a “Muslim”, only then did my application went further and I got the necessary certificate, and it was not free, my dad had to toil with me for 3 days, we spend more than 1000 bucks from autos to bribes, the bigger part being that of the bribes being given and finally when I went to the Peace centre 3 days later to pick up the certificate, the look on the guy's face was priceless, he face clearly said, WTF how did you?,
it was my turn to smile now :D

You know this made me think, I at least had the resources which made my work easier, but what about the poor section of the society, I met a woman there who is in need of this same certificate, and she hasn't got it till now even though its like 3 months since the day she has filled up the application, bribe is the only thing that works in government offices if you don't have it, then you don't get what you want, I mean WTF. Even though there are so many rules, recent one being cameras being set up in government offices, there is just no way out of it, and if you fight back against the system they just don't do your work itself, who is at loss here?? still the common people, WTF is all I can say

Another thing that makes me sicken is whats happening in Gujarat, Narendra Modi the chief minister, is not approving the scholarships sent to minorities, mainly that of Muslims, even though the central government has approved it, I mean is int it direct opposing of a government order????. well there is just nobody to oppose that, cause ministers in some place I heard are busy banning an on line comic named Savitha Bhabi and a theater play called Charandas Chor. WTF.

Well thats about government hassles, another good news is, that the supreme court passed a decision that now fees charged for students in private and unaided schools can now be regulated by the supreme court, I mean how cool is that, if you read my blog regularly, you might have read I once wrote about it here link. And within just a month or so the court passes order against it, I mean that makes it a whole lot cooler,

I know the decision wasn't just made by me writing about it, but i am very happy, cause it was the first time I wrote about something being wrong, and it got solved within just a month, Man thats gotta be the coolest thing happened to me ever. (See I am famous already ;))

OK now enough of me boasting, I am going to submit my application tomorrow for my admissions, pray that I will get selected in the 'A' list itself and then become a great journalist too, (yeah thats my dream).
Pray don't forget. :)

Until next time.
Take Care have a nice day........

The Pain Of Satisfaction - Part 5

Part 5

The plane landed at Delhi airport, farhana took her bag and went towards the exit gate, in a little distance she saw ankita, but before she could reach her, the media came onto her asking hundreds of questions, “why have you come to India?”, “is it because of you, that the riot started?”, “how was your house bombed?” “Is your dancing to blame for everything that happened?”, they were like blood hounds let loose, ankita's father Prakash raj, came in and with help from the police, controlled the situation, half an hour later everyone was home, as they were having dinner ankita looked at farhana, she saw that farhana was not eating properly, after finishing dinner ankita showed farhana her room seeing it farhana's eyes filled with tears, ankita seeing this consoled her, then when farhana got better she left, farhana sat on the bed and questions asked by reporters flashed in her mind, sobbing again, she clutched the pillow and cried her heart out.

Next day ankita came to wake farhana up, she was in shock to find farhana was not in her bed, she looked beside to see farhana crying silently in the corner of the room, ankita said “Whats the reason farha why are you here? and what happened?, why are you crying?”, farhana looked at her and said “I killed my parents ankita, because of my dance, I destroyed everyone's life and now I feel like burden on you, I don't wanna live, I just wanna die” saying this farhana brushed her aside and ran towards the window,

Ankita swiftly seeing this caught her hand and said “Stupid girl, what the hell do you think you are doing?, you are just giving up are you??. I know things that shouldn't have happened did, but that doesn't mean you give up, bad things happen, you just have to deal with it, and try to find happiness in new things which come into your life,” saying this she hugged her “don't you ever say like that again, we are like sisters, no not like, we are sisters from this moment, is that a promise?” farhana dint answer, “tell me farhana we are aren't we?” sobbing farhana said “yes”, Prakash who was watching all this from the door said, “i just had one daughter till today but now I have two” he came in and the 3 of them hugged each other.

In the evening ankita called in farhana for practice but she refused, ankita came to her and said “See farhana I feel how you are feeling, cause I felt the same when I lost my mother, I too dint want to do anything, but my dad encouraged me and thats when I took up bharatanatyam, and thats how I met you, if I hadn't moved on, I would be no where now, pain is always there in our lives, but we have to learn lessons from it and leave it behind, I know you are hurt, but believe me once you start back dancing you will feel much better” farhana raised her head, ankita said again “ believe me you will, and I too have to see how the dance queen dances , wont you give me a chance please my Barbie doll, please please please..........” a smile appeared on farhana's lips and it was just like moonlight appearing on a dark night.

Ankita quickly ran in and brought the gunghroos and tied across her and farhan's ankles, both of them got up, played the music and started dancing, as usual, it was picture perfect, the grace, the elegance was mesmerizing, but farhana was much better, ankita was just in awe seeing her and tried to match up, but how much ever she tried she just couldn't, after the dance both were exhausted and both were laughing, ankita saw farhana and thought “how good she looks smiling, I always will keep that smile on her lips, no matter what”

Months passed by and farhana got better at her dancing and also she cried less, but everyday she prayed for her parents and for the family she now lived with, one day ankita came screaming on top of her lungs, she hugged farhana and said “Guess what is happening in city after 15 days?”, farhana threw her hands up and said “How should I know, you tell me?”
“The biggest dance competition in the world is being held in delhi, dancers from every country are going to come and the winner will be awarded as the best dancer in the world, entries are for only one dancer from the whole country and guess what, you have been selected” said ankita, farhana was surprised “I haven't done a single show, how come they know about me??”, ankita answered back “I told them all about you and also showed them couple of your videos I had taken, and they were so impressed that they selected you right away”.

Farhana was so happy that she hugged her and she was crying again, ankita wiping her tears said ”why are you crying now farha?”. Farhana said “ I am so so lucky to have a friend like you ankita, i am the most lucky person in the world”

“Silly girl, we both are lucky to have each other, but I am more on the lucky side cause I have you” said ankita, farhana smiled again and hugged her, hugging her back ankita had tears in her eyes which she silently wiped off, without letting farhana see.

In the evening as farhana was practicing for the event, ankita was in her room looking at the form of the competition, it was always her dream to compete in the event, she was the one selected at first and when she got to know this, she was very happy, but farhana's face came in front of her and she convinced the judges that farhana was far better dancer than she was, at first they refused but after she showed them the dance videos she had taken at their home, they were impressed,

Ankita had sacrificed her dreams for farhana, but the smile on farhana's face made ankita's pain go away, and as farhana had suffered far more than her, It all seemed worth it, farhana suddenly came into the room and saw her cry, and when she got know what ankita had done, she refused to go to the competition, ankita tried to convince her but she wouldn't agree, in the end prakash hearing to both of them said to farhana “its only because she loves you more, that she cares for you, I know her very well, only and only if you go to the competition will she be happy, otherwise you and ankita, both will be sad, its your decision to take farha”
she answered “but uncle.....”

“No but, you are going thats it, now will you make me sad too??” prakash questioned, “But ....” said farhana, both prakash and ankita made puppy faces and almost were begging, she finally agreed and said yes, “My Darling, I love you so much” said ankita, the 3 of them smiled and hugged each other.

The day of the competition came and farhana was very nervous, but ankita gave her confidence and said “Everything will be all right, just be yourself and I am sure you are gonna win, you know why?, cause you are the best..”, her name was announced and she went on stage, music played and she started her dance, the same expression followed, one look at her dance and the whole stadium was silent, no one spoke, everyone was just looking at her, everything in her dance was perfect, as she was dancing faces of her parents and grandmother came in front of her and she started dancing more intensely, hundreds of emotions colliding in her mind and her heart just made her stronger, and she was even dancing when the music got over, in the end fully exhausted she fell on the stage,

There was ear deafening applause, with cries of “Once more, Once more” from everyone of them present, including the judges, she came down and hugged ankita and waited in anticipation for the result.

The host came and said, “Well the wait is over, Angola D Amgave of Zimbabwe is the winner”, hearing this farhana was left speechless ankita got angry and went on the stage to protest when the host started again “of the worldwide lottery held for this competition”, “the winner of the dance competition, the dancer who will be awarded 'The best dancer in the world' is........... Farhana Khan from India” the crowd burst into a much bigger applause, anikta bit her tongue and came down from the stage sheepishly, farhana saw this and couldn't help smiling, Ankita hugged farhana and sent her on stage, as she was walking towards the stage hundred of thoughts came in farhana's mind, it was her family and ankita that first showed trust in her, it was they who had first believed that she was the best, and now today the whole world knew that she was indeed, the best.

They were many sacrifices made, some by her, some by others, but they were all worth it. she walked towards the judges and when she received the prize she remembered her journey till this moment, the stage was where her life changed for the betrayal and the pain that started in her life, and it was the stage where all her dreams had finally come true..

Even though she had lost her family she had gained a new one, she had lost her identity but had gained a new one, she was satisfied of what her life had come to be from what it was, but also felt a small pain in the corner of heart, But now she knew what the pain was about, it was 'The Pain Of Satisfaction'.

Thank you everyone, for reading my story and writing in your valuable comments, i especially thank pawan and anwesa for their eagle eyes, for spotting a mistake when there was one, thank you very much, i also thank keshi for her very sweet comments, and choco and amanda for always being there and supporting me, thank you everyone once again ;), take care have a great day ahead, cya soon