Be Afraid of The Bankster

Just like how a rope takes form with several small threads binding together to make it strong, The Bankster by Ravi Subramanian combines several stories to form together a novel that while having its problems is certainly a standout among the brainless love story induced novels that are tumbling out these days.
Staring from the diamond mines in Angola, South Africa, The Bankster gives us a quick peek in what we are in for.  As you turn the first few pages, you learn about a family based in Kerala who are harassed by the police into admitting guilt towards a crime they didn’t commit.

With its first chapter, the book introduces us to Vikram, Head of Retail Banking in Greater  Bostan  Global Bank or GB2 and shows us how a bank of international standards works.  From the start we get to know, that Vikram is a womanizer and is a pro at office politics. Flirting with Tanuja, Head of the HR department in the bank, he gets several things and pulls strings to make employees within the bank dance on his terms.

The other aspect of the story relies upon Krishna Menon trying to address the concerns about the Trikakulam Nuclear Plant, where he feels the government has built something that is unsafe for everyone living within Kerala and the whole country in general. He does this because he lost his son in the terrible Chernobyl accident that happened in Russia. While this should make us care about Krishna Menon more, I didn’t immediately care about the characters. Explaining hurriedly in a few pages, we are thrown into situation where is approached by an NGO named CNRI (Conservation of Natural Resources through Innovative use of Technology). Teaming Together with Jaya, Head of CNRI, Menon kick-starts a massive protest setting the nation ablaze.

On the bank’s side of things, we see a battle between the RM’s and get to know that newcomer Zinaida Gomes is a hot-favourite among everyone as she is not only beautiful, but also very cunning and smart. This makes the veteran RM Harshitha jealous of her and she heads for mental breakdown as she obsesses over her losses turning into Zinaida’s profits. Harshita feeling overworked over things decides to takes a holiday and heads up to Vienna where we get the first irritating product placement in novel. Yes, you read that right; a product placement in a novel.

I don’t know whether it was intentional or part of the story, but I thoroughly hated that fact that the character of Harshitha went on and on and on about the free Wi-fi in Coffee Day in Vienna. I hated that fact in the story. Later on the Author explains about Apple iPad’s cloud technology too. That didn’t feel forced and seemed necessary for the story, but the free Wi-fi thing was irritating to read.

Anyway,  both of these stories move at a steady pace introducing new characters and addressing their concerns. Seemingly unconnected, both stories have a massive impact on one another.  As the novel moves from a simple bank story into a murder mystery and conspiracy of international proportions, we are introduced to the brain child who uncoils every major secret in the story, Mr Karan Panjabi.

Karan Panjabi learns various things and many shocking and dirty secrets tumble out. The climax of the story is good and throughout the novel I wasn’t bored, except those product placement pages where the author went on and on about the products rather than concentrating in the story.

I loved the research in the books and several other things that were related to banking. All were neatly explained and some of the facts actually surprised me. In that way the novel was enjoyable.

I give the novel a solid 3.5 stars and it deserves every star of I give. I want to give it a 4, but that Coffee Day free Wi-fi thing is the reason that snatches the half a star away from it. Pick it up if you are planning a long ride back to home in a train. You won’t be disappointed. 

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It's all about love

“I am going to marry him, no matter WHAT YOU SAY” screamed Priya.

Priya’s father, Mr Abhishek sharma was immune to the screams because he knew his daughter’s temper. But he was really surprised that day as Priya was yelling in front of everyone who had come to see her as a potential bride-to-be.

“You can’t just surprise me like this dad.” She said “I had no idea you were inviting guests over.”

Pradeep and Abhishek were family friends from years. Their son Sheker has just returned from US after securing a job in IBM and due to family pressure had agreed to come see Priya at her home.
The poor chap has no idea that Priya was not informed. He watched in mock horror as Priya who came in giving him a huge smile, turned into a screaming tigress within seconds when she got to know what Shekar had come in for.

Priya looking at her father continued “I have known Manish from 3 years dad. We both were friends for a long time before I said yes to his proposal.”
Everybody was staring at Priya so she continued talking further.
“Sure he doesn’t have a job now, but he will find one really soon. I wanted to tell you about this, but was waiting for a right time.”

Rekha, Riya’s mom, was staring at her daughter and had nothing to say. She could not believe Priya would talk in such a manner with friends at home.

“Just listen to me” said Abhishek.
“I don’t want to listen to anything dad. You should have told me beforehand” barked Priya
“I did tell you that Shekar and his family are coming home today” said Abhishek.
“Yeah… but not for this. You didn’t tell me they were coming to ‘see’ me” said Priya.

Without considering anyone’s emotions Priya stormed out of the room. She was so angry with her family that she went straight into her room and started packing her bags.

Riya, Priya’s twin sister, ran to Priya’s room with her.
“What are you doing di?” she asked looking at her sister pack.
“I am leaving this house once and for all” said Priya.
“No. Don’t do that. Mummy and papa will be devastated” said Riya.
“I don’t care about them, because they never thought about me” snarled Priya and with that held her suitcase and stormed out from the backdoor.

“We have to talk to her” said Abhishek to his wife after he had apologized for the 100th time with Pradeep.
“Yes” replied Rekha “We have to.” She said.

Riya came running into the hall where her parents were seated and said with impatience “Priya has left and has taken all her luggage with her.”
Stunned, both Abhishek and Rekha ran to the back of their house to stop Priya.
It was too late. She was already in a taxi and would not meet them for the next 12 years.

12 years later

Rekha was on a hospital bed when she got a call back from Priya.

Coughing she answered the phone and asked “Who is this?” as it was new number.
“It’s me ma, Priya” said Priya.
Rekha was surprised beyond belief and sat up bolt upright as she heard her daughter’s voice.

“Where are you? What happened? Why didn’t you call after that day?” Rekha started asking one question after another like a misfired machine gun.

“I’ll tell you everything ma, let me come in” she said and cut to call to enter through the enclosed doors in her hospital room.

The bulb glowing on top of Rekha’s hospital bed gave out a faint yellow glow. Rekha saw her daughter and was about to ask another question when Priya closed her mouth and said “Let me talk.”

“After I ran from home that day I went straight to Manish’s house. He was surprised to see me, but when I explained him the entire situation he understood everything and said it was ok.”
“The first thing he after I had calmed down was that I should go back home, but I said no. I was so angry with you guys that I said if I went back home now he would never see me again”

Rekha just looked at her daughter as she continued talking.

“We stayed together after that day and there isn’t a day when he hasn’t reminded me that I should call you back. But I was stupid and arrogant and I just did what I pleased.”

“Are you awake ma…..?” said Riya as she came through the door and was stunned into a shocked silence as she saw her sister.

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?” roared Riya.
Rekha held back Riya’s hand and said “Let her talk first, we’ll have time for questions later.”

Riya sat down, anger burning in her eyes. She looked like she would jump onto Priya at any second and tear her into pieces.

Priya looked at her mother and started talking again “We got to know each other pretty well after that day. Manish and I used to take walks in the park and laugh merrily and some days we used to fight like we were thieves quarrelling for stolen gold. But I always found comfort with him.”

Priya continued “We both knew we loved each other, so no matter how much we fought we knew we both would be there for each other. He understood my likes and dislikes and we used to spend hours cooking together in the kitchen and then he would feed me with his hands.”

Priya had tears in her eyes, yet she continued “Knowing him from a long time I became so comfortable with him that I forgot you guys.”
Riya let out a sharp gasp at Priya’s revelation.
“Yes” said Priya “I did forget all of you. I only talked once with dad and he said he’d be ok with Manish once he finds job. I knew it would be difficult because Manish wanted to work in an architect firm in Malaysia and they were hiring only after a year.”

“Living with less to almost no money was very difficult. Manish’s uncle Sameer came to our help and helped us out as Manish didn’t have any parents.”
“I helped Manish in any way I can and even joined an advertising firm. It got better after that and I didn’t feel bad even for a second because I was living with Manish.”
“You could have had a better life” said Riya.
“Let her finish” said Rekha.

Priya continued “We were very happy with each other and after one year Manish found the job he wanted and I never looked back. I flew to Malaysia and had been living there for the past 11 years.”

“Why are you here then?” asked Rekha.
Priya took a long time to answer the question and finally said “Because Manish is dead.”
Both Rekha and Riya huddled together and took Priya in their arms.

“You should have listened to us and married Shekar” said Rekha stroking Priya’s hair.
“and end up like Riya?” asked Priya.
Riya snapped back from the embrace and said “You don’t have to be so mean.” said Riya.

Riya said “After you left, dad was devastated as he had lost all his respect. First you ran away and then all his friends at office looked at him as he was some sort of a criminal because of the Shekar fiasco at home.”

Riya continued “One day after coming back from work he asked me would I consider marrying Shekar?”
“Seeing his sad face every day was driving me insane and I said yes, I would. I just wanted to see him happy.”

“He was very happy marrying me and Shekar, but I was wrong in my decision.” Said Riya

“I didn’t know Shekar. Growing up with an army retired grandfather Shekar was very strict about things. I could not go out with friends, listen to music loud and do many other things.”
Priya looked at her sister with sad eyes “It was good that you didn’t marry him. He never compromised on things even if I tried very hard.”
“I constantly tried doing things that would please him, but he never reciprocated. It was all about him and it was not because he couldn’t marry you, Arathi, my mother-in-law told me that he was always like this: never compromising to anything.”

“Dad was furious when I said I wanna divorce him, but one day he finally saw Shekar’s true colors when he slapped me in front of everyone for talking loudly.”

Priya got up and hugged her sister. She then turned to her mother and said “This is the exact reason why I left home ma.” She continued “For a marriage to work you first have to know a person. His good habits, bad habits everything should be out in the open, because that allows you to take a proper decision”

Rekha looked at Priya and nodded as Priya continued ahead “Even if the decision is wrong it would be our own decision. There would be no one to blame. Not knowing a person completely and committing to a big thing such as marriage can always lead to problems.”

“Even if I am not with Manish anymore I will always cherish the memories, because we made them together” said Priya “Love always kept us together and I am glad for that, while in Riya’s case things didn’t work out because she never got to know who Shekar really was.”

“I had known Shekar was like this from his X girlfriend” said Priya
“Why didn’t you tell me then?” yelled Riya.
“I was in Malaysia by then and didn’t know what was happening with you guys. If I had known I would have never agreed to it and would make you come with me” said Priya to Riya.

“I should have been there for you” said Priya and started crying.
“You will be now” said Rekha and hugged her daughter.
Riya slowly joined in and she swiped away the image of her dead father from her mobile phone.
In that moment they were a family again and would always be. Priya would make sure of it.

To participate on the discussion whether love marriage is best or arranged visit:

A future beyond tomorrow

 I feel nothing when I land in the year 3000. I am lying flat on the ground as I open my eyes to a sky that is filled with dust. The dust is of a heavy glowing kind and it is settling on me with rapid force. I am asking myself what is this, when suddenly I feel sharp pain behind my ear and my eyes open up with the flood of information that gets pushed into my brain. I am trying to make sense of what I am seeing when I black out.
The first thing I notice after opening my eyes is that I am breathing differently. A mechanical voice speaks with a very soft voice inside my head.

“Hi, I am Increima. Please don’t freak out listening to this voice in your head as I am a super computer designed just for you.”
I freak out nonetheless and I can’t stop screaming. I scream, scream and then scream some more.
“Stop screaming Thousif. It will get you nowhere. I have answers to all your questions. Just ask me patiently.” The voice says
“Who are you?” I ask in panic.
“I told you. I am Increima”
I hear the cool voice and finally register that I indeed have super computer affixed to my brain.
I notice my irregular breathing and ask “Why is my breathing different?”

“Because you are breathing out oxygen with every alternate breath” says Increima.

“What?” I say
“See..” says Increima “I can make out that you are a human belonging to species known as Homo Sapien. I don’t know where you were from the past 723 years. So let me explain you in-detail”

She starts “Global warming killed every living thing on earth expect humans. The reason humans survived was because of a scientist named Insre agre. He created a chemical that would mimic photosynthesis in humans, allowing humans to breath out oxygen into the atmosphere”

My jaw drops down as she keeps explaining.
“Humans were not able to stop climatic changes. So this idea helped, but it’s not perfect as you should breathe in oxygen with every alternate breath”
“The idea was to maintain the level of oxygen in the atmosphere. If you haven’t known already, Earth is actually a tourist planet now”
I have lost words, seeing this Increima continues “Before I continue just take a look around you.”
I see that I am on top of a balcony. I look down and see people walking on streets. The streets have a highly reflective material and I can't seem to take my eyes off it.
‘Solar panels that create electricity, using photovoltaic's’ Increima says.

I look into the sky as I see vehicles that are shaped as triangles, hexagons and some other designs which I can’t explain.
‘Anti-mater powered solarcrafts’ adds Increima.
My eyes adjust automatically as I see people almost 1000 metre away like they are in front of me.
‘Auto-adjustable optical lenses with focus power upto 1000000000X’ says Increima.

I see that people are talking and have weird carvings on their skin.
‘Visual representation of a planet they are visiting from’ adds Increima.

‘Where do humans live now?’ I ask
“I think you would better know it as Kepplar 22b” she says

I gasp as I see robots sweep across the sky with superman like ability. “It’s a nanobot powered with a blood type known as Electidel. It thinks like a human, acts like a nanobot and has body tissue made out of Tardigrade microbe.”

All my mind registers is What? What and what?

Increima laughs and says “Let me start with Tardigrades. They are amazing microbes which humans were able to culture and commercialize in 2203”
She continues “These microbes can withstand a temperature upto -272 degree C, withstand upto 1,200 times atmospheric pressure, take in up 5,000 Gy of gamma radiation and  can even undergo chemobiosis”

“OH MY GOD!” I say
“Yes. Humans made body suits out of them and with the help of nano bots started space mining and exploration, allowing humans to terraform different planets.”

I raise my eyes and I see the world around me changing every second. Once which was a building is a space dock now. Once what was radio telescope is a satellite communication system e. It keeps changing with such a rapid intensity that my eye hurts registering the change.

“Communication through Tachyonic antitelephone” add Increima.
“Whats that?” I ask

“It’s the ability communicate faster than the speed of light, allowing you to send messages into the past. This ability helps humans to correct their mistakes in past, thus creating a new future in the present” she adds coolly.
My eyes do the eye popping dance again as they register surprise after surprise.

“Humans were able to harness the power of exotic matter in the year 2435. A travelling meteorite deposited huge amounts of matter on the moon, giving humans yet another breakthrough”
“What? I ask.
“Power to travel through wormholes and black holes”
“HOW?” I scream.

“Wormholes open up at random times in our universe. By using exotic matter, you can extend their lifespan. Humans travelled through it to reach other planets faster. We built a coat of Tardigrade on our ships and travelled through black holes to collect more exotic matter as the vacuum fluctuations near a black hole are exotic.”

I am just registering this when I see large meteor coming directly into the earth atmosphere at rapid pace.
I let out a shocked cry and see as the rock the size of maybe a 1000 football field keeps rolling into earth’s sky.
I ask “Wha….” and I am cut off as I see my entire body disintegrate and I feel a distant movement that pulls me back to the year 2012.

I see the eyes of Professor Sarchin - The mastermind who was able to tele-transport me into the future. I look into his eyes and I know the answer.

I ask “Tachyonic communication?-” and he just smiles.

This post has been published by me as a part of IBL; the Battle of Blogs, sponsored by Join us at our official website and facebook page.

Disclaimer: all photos have been taken from google: i am NOT an owner of any of the photos used in this post.

Not so simple thoughts

I know i havent been around much. Maybe i'm just too lazy. Well, this is sort of a return. I donno when i'll be back again, but i hope its soon.

To start things off, i have written something(finally! :P). I was in a fight with myself when i wrote it. Its not exactly the best poem i have written, but i like it. It speaks to me. I have put in straightforward words whatever i felt at that moment. Hope u guys like it :). thank you all for reading my blog and constantly leaving comments. I know i dont reply to them, but i always read them and i love each one of them :). I will reply to them all in this post. Well, so without further blabbering... here's the poem...

Dare to dream
So rough these lines in hand; each trace in it distinctly reminding of what I have come to achieve.
In sameness I live.
Each morning I wake up the same way as y’day, waiting....
Waiting..... Every day, I wait some more.
I know it’s there. Its mine for the taking, I just have to be brave..... But I can’t.

Reasons are aplenty.
Easily i point my fingers to a new one. every day.
Each one is a lie, responsibility being the most believable one.
Moving on is easy. It’s the looking back that hurts.
I know I have it me, I can feel it, sense it.....

It’s not easy.
I know I am holding myself back, but there’s fear and I can’t seem to overcome it, not by myself.

Baring my soul is easy, it comes naturally to me.
If only it was possible now.....
I tend to hold onto a long forgotten dream, desperately.

It’s funny how memories work.
Things that I can’t hold onto, i try high and low to keep them in my grasp. But the ones that I can actually achieve, I run away from; I don’t even try.
Both come easy to me, the latter being the easiest.

Magic works; the magic of sleep.
Erasing everything I thought last day, was fighting with.
I don’t feel like surrendering, but I have to.
Reluctantly, helplessly I surrender.
I live another day; daring to dream; daring to turn that dream into my favourite mirage, reality.
<3 u all :). Take care... till next time.....

A promise kept through time


Childhood is a great experience. While you’re growing up you will never know how cool and awesome it is. You will know it only when you’re hurrying off to work and sit down in your office seat, dripping sweat from your forehead, that it was one of the best phases of your life.

The same thing happened with me as I was pushed back into one of the proudest moments of my life, when someone asked me “Do you smoke?”

My mom was getting me ready to send me off to school. I was 13 and It was my first day of high school. My mom was fixing my tie as I saw my dad enter through his shop. We had a shop that led directly into our home. I saw my dad was smoking. He picked something heavy with both of his hands and was balancing a cigarette on one of his lips at the same time.

I heard my mom say… “Now you are big boy Thousif. There will be ‘friends’ who will teach you things that are not good.”

“Hmm..” I murmured as I continued seeing my dad do the balancing act and go into the shop. My eyes followed him the whole time.

My mom continued “You should be aware that, there are bad things that you should not try.”

“Like what?” I asked.

My dad entered to pick something again. My mom looked towards my dad, “Like smoking” she said

My dad turned around. He was in one of his moods, but I could see a sort of helplessness in his eyes which said ‘I am addicted to this son and I can’t help it’.

“So I shouldn’t smoke if my friends ask me to, is that what you’re saying?” I asked

“Yes” she replied “Smoking is a very bad habit, it ruins your lungs, health and most importantly your life” she said curtly, looking at my dad.

I innocently turned my eyes towards my dad, “but why shouldn’t I mom?...” I said “Dad smokes!

My mother was surprised at my retort. “Well…she said “I have no answer for that”. She looked at my father “Why don’t you ask your dad if he has one?” she said, smiling an oh-you-are-in-trouble-now-daddy smile.

My dad just stood there, stunned by what I had said. The cigarette he was balancing on his lips fell to the ground. He quickly stomped on it. He looked at me and calmly came towards me.

‘Oh man. I am gonna get spanked’ I thought. I saw my dad come near me and sit on his knees. He looked into my hands, held my hands and asked me “If I stop smoking from tomorrow, will you promise me that you will never smoke in your entire life?”

From the time that I had seen my dad as a child, he had been a chain smoker. Having his own shop was an added incentive to his habit. He would smoke up to 3 packets of cigarettes a day. One after the other, one after the other; It never stopped.

All the while I had watched him, I wanted get rid of his habit. My mom always used to show me pics about what horrible things smoking cigarettes could lead to, and say “Stay away from cigarettes”. And whenever I saw them, I wanted to make my dad stop smoking cigarettes. ‘If I could just get him to quit’ I used to think, ‘If i could just…’, and lo here was the chance.

I met his eyes and said “No dad. If you stop smoking from tomorrow, I will never smoke in my entire life.”

My dad looked into my eyes, ruffled my hair and said “Ok, why tomorrow! I am quitting cigarettes right now!”

I turned towards my mom and saw the look in her eyes. It was like I had done the impossible. She had asked my dad to quit many times, but he hadn’t. It’s not like he hadn’t tried. He’d quit for a couple of months and then start up again. You can exactly blame him. He had the poison right in front of him every day, and he just had to smoke.

I saw my dad after that day. He struggled. The initial days when you quit smoking after having smoked for like 20 years is never-wracking. It’s not like doing drugs, but its close. I saw him every day and he never put another cigarette on his lips.

As I was growing up, I had many instances where my friends forced me to smoke. Seeing that I had a shop which sold cigarettes, they all wanted me to start smoking and be their supplier. But I didn’t.

It was tough. Every day I used to be around cigarettes, and seeing my friends smoke and say it was amazing to smoke, I wanted to try too. I was made fun of, bullied and made to feel that I was missing out on something great. Some days I was so frustrated that I used to take a cigarette and keep it on my lips and suck the air through the cigarette, just the air. I wanted to see what the fuss was all about; but I never lit one and smoked.

As I grew up, each time a ‘friend’ asked me “Do you smoke?” it used to remind me of that time, and that promise my dad made and kept.

It has been 13 years since my dad quit smoking and each time anyone asks me the question, I say “No. Never have, never will”.

Every time a conversation about smoking comes my way, I am reminded of that promise. I say to myself. “My dad left smoking cigarettes for me. He could have said I won’t stop, but he did. He kept a promise made to his son, and I will keep the promise I made to my dad”.

It has been 13 years and both of us haven’t smoked a cigarette. I could say it is because of that promise, but what I see is love. Our love and respect for each other has made us stray away from a dangerous habit.

I see my dad now and feel proud. My dad sees me and he feels proud. That moment in my childhood was 100% real. It taught me that parents can do anything for a child and if children try, they can do anything for their parents. It might be a small thing, but for me it means a lot. It made me see my dad as a entirely new person. It made us a family; a loving, caring and 100% real family.

This post has been written for 'The Kissan 100% Real Blogger Contest' on

Disclaimer: The images have been taken from Google and I do not own any of these photos.

The truth

One of the values kids are taught at a young age is to tell the truth. The same was with my family. My mom was very strict about me and my sister telling truth. She used to say, “No matter what you have done, always tell the truth. It is much easier and it’s always, always the better option.”

In my childhood I was naughty kid. I used to get into trouble every day. As I started growing up, it continued, but the naughty turned into something else when I saw kids at my school wear new clothes, buy new things.

Every time I used to see my friend buy new things I wanted it. It wasn’t like I was obsessed about it, but I wanted it. What I dint know at that time is that there was one thing that would grow into an obsession.

It was the year 2000 and computer games had just made its way into my small hometown of Coorg, Madikeri. Everybody was playing. Kids, adults, you name it they were playing it. I so, so, so wanted to play them as everyone in our school was describing how amazing it was.

I had just passed out my junior high and entered my high school. My dad had given me 20 bucks on passing the exams. I took the money and ran to the cyber café to play the games with my friends.

I dint know squat about computer games. My friends cheated and played with my money for 2 hours, leaving me bitterly angry and unsatisfied. I said to myself, ‘I will play games all by myself without anybody’s help’, and that’s what I exactly did. The feeling I used to get when I played the games was amazing. Just like the feeling I used to get when i drank juice made from Kissan squashes; 100% real and amazing.

I was addicted and spent all the money I had on the computer games. Times were not as expensive as it is now. I used to get 5 bucks every week as pocket money, lesser sometimes. As we had our own shop, every time I used to ask my dad for more money, he used to say “When you have everything here, what do you need money for? If you want something I will buy it for you.”

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to play computer games and that was it. My dad wasn’t so rich that he’d buy me a computer, so I thought of a plan. Every time I was home after school my dad used to make me sit in the shop and go for a coffee break for 10 minutes. I hated sitting at the shop, but I did it anyway because I wanted my dad to rest.

One day as I was sitting, minding the shop, my eyes fell on the cash register. I saw the money my dad had made the whole day. There were a couple of 20’s, 50’s and a lot of 10’s. I saw how my friends looked at me when I played the games. I was good, not just good, I was goooood. We competed in car races and I always own. I wanted to maintain that winning streak and so I took two 10 rupee notes from the register.

As soon as I had the money in my hand I started panicking. I thought, ‘Will I get caught?’, ‘What if dad comes to know about the missing money?’, ‘What would happen if I get caught?’ A hundred questions crossed my mind. I was sweating and put the money back. I saw my dad come in. He saw me, smiled and said to go play outside. I went.

The thought never left me. My mind said ‘You could have just taken the money and left, dad wouldn’t know!’ I said to myself ‘No I can’t do it. It would be stealing and then if he asks me, I’d have to lie. I don’t wanna do that.’ There was no voice for some time, but as the evening progressed the thought never left my mind.

I met my friends next week and as I hadn’t played the games for a week, I was sloppy. I lost all games and I was angry at myself. I said to myself “Enough is enough, I am a winner and that’s what I will be.”

I went to my dad and said “I want money to play computer games!”

He said “You play a lot of games thousif; no you can’t have more money. Your grades will go down, sit and study rather than playing games".

I was pissed. I was so pissed that I when my dad went for his break that day, I took two 20 rupees notes without a guilty conscience. I went and played games without a worry in the world.

My dad didn’t suspect a thing, so I started taking money every day. What started with 40 bucks soon grew 50, 60 and more. Whatever I dint spend on the computer games I used to save up.

After 3 years I had collected a lot of money. Yes, 3 years; 3 freaking years. I would have continued if it wasn’t for my sister.

One of the saddest things in my life was my sister’s death. That event led to everyone in our house become zombies for weeks. I used to fight with my sister a lot and when she passed away I blamed myself for not asking sorry. Remembering her I used to cry on my mother’s shoulder and howl with pain, asking my sister to forgive me. It was normal childhood fights, but the pain of not getting to ask sorry was real and hurt every day.

As I was crying one day, I remembered what I had been doing for the past 3 years. I felt ashamed and I wanted to say it to my parents. But my ego dint let me. I was very afraid thinking what my dad would say, but the guilt was eating me out. I stopped taking the money, but I had the money I had saved. I may have had like 10,000 bucks with me. I wanted to put it all back, but my dad would ask ‘Where did all the money come from?’ and I would have no answer.

I wanted to say the truth and now I couldn’t. I was in agony. I felt like I was on fire, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

One day I fought with my mom. It was a bitter fight. She was crying and I was still angry. Suddenly I saw the picture of my sister on the table and I felt pain. I thought how I used to fight with her and now I had done the same with my mother. An inner voice told me ‘See thousif, you can’t ask sorry for the bad times you had with your sister, but you can set things right by asking sorry with your mother and telling her the truth’

I remembered what my mom used to say ‘Say the truth, no matter what.’ I went to where my mom was silently sobbing. I saw her, went near her, held her hand and let her to my bedroom. I sat down and said “I am really sorry mom” She stopped crying and saw me. I said how sorry I was for being such an arrogant child, and that I was sorry for all the bad things I had done in my life. She said that I wasn’t a bad kid, only a little stubborn sometimes but that was ok. I dint listen to her. I had taken a decision and I would abide to it.

I started talking about my sister and said how sorry I was for fighting with her and how sorry I was for fighting with my mom. I started crying, i was hysterical, like I couldn’t stop myself. It was 10 in the night and listening to my crying my dad silently came from the shop and stood near the door. I started crying, asking sorry and cried some more. My dad came near me and seeing him I just broke down. I wanted to confess and finally I thought it was now or never and I did it.

I said how I had started taking money and how I spent it on computer games and how I had saved some of it. I took a long time to confess and when I had finally finished my dad said only one thing “I knew.”

I looked at him and he hugged me and said “I knew about it, but I wanted you to stop it by yourself.” “You took a long time to stop, saved up a lot of money, but you did it.” he said smiling. I blurted out a laugh and looked at my mom. She came forward and hugged me and said smilingly “I knew too” I looked at her and tears flowed again. “Don’t cry” she said “I know you lied to us, but you taking initiating and confessing you did something wrong and admitting it is a huge thing.” I heard her say this and cried some more.

“Stop crying my child” my mother said hugging me tighter “You took a big step and see now we know you will never do it” she added.

I looked into her eyes and knew that I had cleansed my sins through the tears I cried. My parents rather than being angry were happy that I had realised my mistake. Both my parents got up from my bed and my dad took my chin into his hands and said smilingly “If you ever need money just ask thousif, everything me and your mother earn is for you itself. It always has been.”

That moment was real for me. More real than anything I had experienced in my life, ever. I learnt that whatever happens in life my parents will always be there for me. It made me feel so good to tell the truth. It made me and my parents grow stronger as a family and since then I haven’t taken a single rupee without asking.

That day I learnt that truth no matter how hurtful it is, is always a beautiful thing to say. I learnt that the real thing to have is a family that trusts you, no matter what you have done. It made me feel that saying the truth will always be better than telling lies. It’s your family that counts, the trust they have in you that counts. Lie never mattered and never will. I had their trust and from that day till now I have honoured that trust, always will.

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