The F.I.R Adventure

What is that one part of human life that a person will never forget in his entire life?,

Marriage..? (I guess men would never accept that :P) Your first kiss, ah... how can one forget that, but err… lets not stray away from the subject shall we…Lemme say the answer myself (As alwayz :P),

Its college life.

Because that is the place where you “mature” (In you thinking that is :P), you find friends who will stay with you throughout your whole life, where we live to learn a new “experience” everyday, and it was just the same for me.

When I was studying for my degree, I thought this life and I am so lucky to have it, I had tons of fun, messed around (Studied a bit too ;)), and got through with (Not so) flying colors.

When degree came to an end, I said to myself, “That’s it Thousif bhai, Time to get serious about life”. I guess god heard the disappointment in my voice that day, so he decided to extend my ‘happiness’ a bit more, and I came to Mysore to pursue my masters in journalism.

Coming from a small town, the new city gave me experiences I had never had, it gave me sense of freedom never attained before, and I found a new me…

From wearing a Saree, to jumping in to a lake half naked (even if there were girls looking around :P), From creating waves in panel discussions (As I was the only English talking kid in the group) to winning prizes in fests (even though it was just a 3^rd :P), and to say that I am just getting started, makes it all the more lovely…

Looking at it you might be thinking studying might have taken a backseat, but that is where the real fun is, oh.. the sleeping in back avoiding the lecturer’s eyes(that too in the 1^st period :P), the passing of comments and jokes, it’s even more fun than my degree, If you thought people doing masters are ‘respectable and disciplined’, you have to think again if you saw me with my pals.

The exploits are many but I am gonna share a new one with you, which showed me a side of law never seen before.

Couple of months ago, our Reporting ma’am ‘M’ had said for the practical record, we have to Procure F.I.R’s of 2 crime cases and one accident case, let me say in her words exactly as to how we were to do it:

“I want the reports first hand, if you see a crime and can report it, that would be great, but if you think you are one of gandhi’s monkey and can’t see a crime going on, then go to a police station and look into the F.I.R’s and copy them, same applies for accident cases, and for the interview assignment, I want you reporting some big shot. Ok”

When she said those words I was surprised so much that I fainted, when I got up in the hospital, all my classmates were beside me with a notepad in their hands asking questions, so that they could report about the ‘accident’. :P

Ok that was a lie, but still it surprised me, as I was from management background I had absolutely no idea how to do it, and I was thinking interviewing might be easy, but F.I.R’s how am I gonna get those? (I was a small town boy in a big strange city you see ;)), When I was talking on phone with my dad one day, the matter came up and he said “No problem beta(son), You come here, and I will arrange them for you”

I was so relived and when I came to my place dad took me to the police station, and that was where the real ‘Experience’ began.

Lemme explain there are 2 police stations in out place, City and Rural, we first went to city police station expecting that we would find the reports there, but a couple of constables there said,

“You won’t find them so easily, first you have to write an application to the sub inspector, and only if he gives permission you can access them, but in addition you have to pay a bank challan of 21rs each for an F.I.R, and we don’t have accident F.I.R’s here so you better go to the rural police station”.

That’s not so tough I thought, and we both went to the rural police station and gave the application to the sub inspector, his words shocked me

“Well it’s not a child’s play kid, we just cannot give FIR reports to anyone” he said mocking me

I said “Sir I am doing masters in journalism, and I want it for my record work, nothing else”

“But I can’t….” he said with a mischievous grin, I was like why is he acting like that, when he can give it, does he want us to plead? Just as I was thinking that, when my dad suddenly barged in and said
“It’s just for his studies; please, If you could help out it would be helpful for him”.

“Hmmmm……… ok” he said seeing my dad pleading, I got furious seeing the inspector’s change, but I kept silent, he then ringed the bell for the constable to come in, and said “Call the F.I.R handler”.

“The constable said “He has gone for lunch Sir”

“You better wait” said the inspector pointing to us…

We waited, and it was 3 pm, we haven’t even had lunch, we asked the constable at what time he would be back and he said that he had gone at 2.30 and will be only returning at around 4.

“Lunch for that long…?” I said,

“Government officials what can you say”, my dad said sarcastically, as there was an hour we thought of going back to home have lunch and get back, on my way I asked dad: “When he was going to give us the reports anyway, at first why did he deny?, and why was he talking to me like a +12 student, when he knew I was a PG student?”

My dad replied coolly “He is a police officer beta, he wants to show he has the power, that he controls, and only if he agrees our work can be done” hearing him I was like, what has the world come to.

We got back at 3.30, the F.I.R handler hadn’t been back, we waited, bless that day for sehwag was playing brilliantly, I and my dad watched him hit a double century in the police station, but power went off and we waited, time raced to 4 and then to 4.30 still he wasn’t there, at that time the constable felt pity on us and said “well I guess he will be late, so let me just show you about how F.I.R’s actually are”

He was very helpful and showed me how they were, at 5.15 the handler finally came

He asked “Which crime cases do you want?” just like a salesman asking at a mall

As I hadn’t committed many crimes in my life (Besides stealing and lying in my childhood :P), I was thinking..

While my dad acting like a perfect customer said “Oji… koi bhi dedo, jaise ki murder, half-murder, ya phir…. attempt to murder…..” (Give any.. like murder, half-murder or attempt to murder) he was only asking about murder cases, I saw the handler’s face and it gave an expression which comes when a kid asks for adult magazines in a store, I couldn’t help but let out a short laugh (just like in the picture :P)

The surprised officer then said “Err.. We cannot give murder cases just like that, but here are some missing persons F.I.R’s”

I was excited and started taking them, but a bulb glowed (yes it’s THE bulb :P) in my head and I said to myself “missing people… that is not actually a crime…. is it?”(I would be a great journalist na.. :P)

I quickly thought and said to him “Missing person is not actually a crime, do you have kidnapping, theft or something like that?”

He finally pulled out a theft and a murder (yeah he gave one by my dad’s pressure :P) and a accident F.I.R report… I quickly went in to Xerox them…. 2 were over while power went again while doing the 3^rd one… I knew I couldn’t count on power, so I sat down to copy them on paper, I had to catch a bus so that I could come to class the next day and it was getting late…… finally when I finished it writing in my beautiful (Read: Hopeless) handwriting, guess what, power came… we got another copy and when we went to return them, the F.I.R’s the handler said

“Why so late, I thought you ran away or something….”

“Well we dint knew 5 minutes were so important to you sir, we are extremely sorry”, my dad said sarcastically, and I was all smiles :)

And the biggest happiness came in the form that, no one took a bribe to do the work... Hurray :P

Well that’s the story about how I had a brush with the of law and got the F.I.R’s, but the interview is still up for grabs… if anybody of you are world famous in India, or if you can find someone famous (not your dog or watchman :P)… do tell me, let’s see what happens there….

Till next time, have an awesome (and a crime free :)) weekend. Take care……