The Brand New Bangalore Kid

Somewhere in a far off village in India, where the power comes once a week and internet connection only lasts for 10-15 minutes. There are 2 girls speaking to each other about a unique phenomenon.

Girl 1: (Whispering) I heard he is coming back.

Girl 2: Are you sure?. I thought it was a myth. He has been silent for so many months I highly doubt that he is even alive!

Girl 1: He always comes back from the dead don’t you know?!... He is the only reason I even have an internet connection in this god forsaken village. His blog posts are like the breath of fresh air. It livens me up from inside. They are… my way of life…

Girl 2: (Getting jealous): Yeah it is, but he is my way of life too, his writings, makes me laugh so much. I sometimes fantasize about him when I am with my boyfriend.. God.. His writings are so cool and amazing… I wonder how he is in person!!

Girl 1: I hear he is amazing, so hot, and handsome. The only sad part is he has been away for so long that I miss him so much, SO MUCH…..(breaks down in tears)

Girl 2: Don’t cry, he will be back… for the love of all his readers (secretly points towards self). He has to be back…

For your reference EVIL M is my EVIL MIND(EVIL M: Hell Yeah :P)

The sound of farting come from a far of background, as the laziest person in earth gets up from his sleep. BRRRRRRRRR..

EVIL M: (Are taliyaan to maro… Evil M is back :P) What the F is this Thousif, every morning? Every morning… sheesh

Me: Kya karoon yaar… acidity hai…

EVIL M: That’s what happens when you eat outside always, not eating on proper time, hmph I am fed up of your stomach and its rear exhaust.. Sheesh. Anyway.. what is the plan for today, besides going for work?

Me: Have to write a blog post.

EVIL M: DON’T YOU F**ING KID ME MAN, DON’T YOU F***ING DARE!!!!.

Me: Wo wo wo, whats up with all the rage?,

Evil M: do you even know when u visited your ‘soul space’ haan? Do u?

Me: What?? It has been like 2 months?!!

Evil M: 2 months… 2 freaking months… do u have any respect for yourself!!! Sheesh… Even FU seems like praise… god you are so lazy

Me: Hey, I wasn’t lazy ok, I work every day!!!

Evil M: Everybody works ok!!!, look at remya… that girl is so passionate about her life and blog, look at suruchi… my god that woman… she has a child, a husband to take care of and she teaches too!!, and she updates regularly.. What the hell is wrong with u, itna bhi to kaam nahi hai na?

Me: yes man, I feel bad

Evil M: You should be ashamed, people love you so much, those 2 girls in that far off village, quarrel with their boyfriends every day, fantasizing about you, unke liye to blog likh…

Me: hmph you are rgt…. I should write, and I will write a blog post rgt now…

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Me: Oh shit yaar, bathroom jaana padega!!! Kal likhta hoon

EVIL M: !!#!%&&*$*$*%#&% wait!! Did I just praise him? That Ass****.

Hey guys hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. (Dodges shoes thrown by, Arpit, Arpitha, Charu, Suruchi, Akki, and some other loyal followers) arey, marte kyun ho yaar!!! Aa gaya na!!

Arpit: (In blind Rage) Haramzade!!!, ab aaya hai ab??…2 mahino ke baad!!

ME: Arey arpit chill yaar, itna kyun gussa ho raha hai?

Arpit: Gussa na hun to kya karoon, kahaan hai meri gifts, kahaan hai mere awards? Is saal ke RAZA awards ko kya huwa?

Me: Wo funding may thoda problem ho gaya yaar, aur u know… Acidity problem!!!

Arpit: !#!$%#@^!^^%&

EVIL M: @#%$!#@%!#^!^

Thousif’s mother comes from the kitchen..

Mom: “Ya mere Allah, THOUSIF!!!, how much more will you swear in this beautiful house of mine, and make it dirty than a filthy pig sty.. What is wrong with you and that stupid friend of your’s….”

Arpit runs outs my house like his ass is on fire… there’s even some smoke like thing left behind… *maybe he farted*

ANYYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOO… getting back to the issue… I am back yes I am, so let me tell you what I have been upto :)

I am now a trainee copywriter at Rediffsuion-Wunderman… and the job is amazing here…

First time I am all on my own in life, from making food to cleaning toilets and it has never been so eventful before, so many experiences. SO MANY and my god, it’s barely been a month… I thought I will feel alone in this lonely city, where everyone just runs after money and fame. I thought it dint have a soul at all, people would be self-centered. But I got a BIG sucker punch to my stomach.. This city is actually beautiful. It has its own personality, and it’s amazing.

Let me tell you how, first week out, I went to see Transformers 3 with some frenz of chavan(my roommate) the film was amazing (my first 3D film :D) and then we went to a pub.. I dint drink though!!

Evil M: Daddy’s lil girl he is toh, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, I donno why he even lives his life…

ME: I live for the beauty of life ok, life is not all about boozing and smoking!!!

EVIL M: yeah rgt…. Anyways… please continue your gun gyaan :P

ME: I don’t need your approval..

EVIL M: !~!@$%!#%$^^^

Mom : THOUSIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABT THE LANGUAGE???!!!

EVIL M: Muhuhahahahaha

Evil to evil he rahega… anyways I went with them to the pub…

EVIL M: and they raped him…. Ha ha ha

ME: WTFF (i.e. what the f**ing F), that’s not what happened….

EVIL M: (sings in a 1950’s tune) Ram teri ganga maili ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ho gayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P

ME: oh my god, you are a nightmare… F*** U…

Evil M: (eerie static sound…..)

Thank god he is silent, so anyway we went to the pub, the guys ordered drinks, and when I said no to free booze…

Arpit: (jumps up from his bed) FREE BOOZE!!! OH MY GOD!!! Did someone say free booze… kahaan, where, tell me now!!!

ME: Arpit ji calm down… it’s here in Bangalore, and it wasn’t all free..

Arpit: (Inflates down like a sad balloon. purrrrrrrrrrrrrr :P)

So I said I don’t drink, and they respected me for it, they never forced even for second, except saying it tastes good, and making me feel like I was missing something good, at some points I wanted to try, but I have made a promise to someone, that I will not take any drugs of any sorts. So I wanted to keep that promise :). Not that I have drug abuse problems :P. just promised :)

EVIL M: that’s what all the drug abusers say :P

(Gives a stinky eye to EVIL M) But what followed in this session was, I felt the guys open up and talk about so many things.. The party which started with a PG rating soared onto XXX :P and what not… I have never laughed so much, I was so happy to be around… The feeling was so amazing, and I wasn’t even drunk :P

They kept asking me, am I enjoying myself?, you are not feeling bored? And were so caring, I loved the attention and at the same time saw them enjoying themselves, it was one of the best things I have ever been a part off…

I remember a joke from the night..

Chavan: how will you go back home man? What if the policeman catches you and asks you to walkin a straight line?

Sunil(one of the frenz): I’ll walk… I am good at walking on straight lines…(he sounded so drunk)

Chavan: (looking at others) This guys is so drunk, he will yell at the policeman saying… “Damn you man, first draw a straight line and then tell me to walk on it, drawing a crooked line and asking me to walk straight…what the hell is wrong with you, are you drunk?” :P

To top it off we went for a walk at 1 in the night and sat in front of Croma electronic store (no I am not getting paid to say that :P) and I just took a look at the city.. The guys were still laughing remembering some instances and I laughed with them.. I felt like I was always a part of their lives, and sitting there I felt like I am part of the city too… That day was amazing… it will always be in my memory, that when you are with Frenz nothing matters, and they became my frenz so quickly… In just a matter of hours I felt this instant connection with all four of them, I was so amazed, I loved it… it was so simple yet so very special, that just talking for a couple of hours could lead to something that is sooooo good. It made me see Bangalore, its culture, its people in a whole new way, and I loved it.

We are meeting again this weekend, and going to another pub, hope it is the same as last time, I know it will be :).

Well that just me giving an update… I have many more stories for you guys….

EVIL M: … from getting molested, to how he was ruthlessly beaten up with a slipper by a monkey… to letting out a loud fart in a very important business meeting… it’ll all come… don’t worry…

Well as EVIL M said… there are some things worth sharing… till then :) I love you all… have a very beautiful day ahead :)…..take care I have missed you all.. yes including those 2 girls :)… :).

P.S: A very special thank you for these people who would have kicked my ass, if I hadn’t wrote again and made me write these… Arpitha, Arpit, Suruchi, Anwesa, Viddhi, Remya, Saru(thank you for a very sweet email (*points fingers at other instructing a ‘see and learn gesture’:P*) and a couple other who’s names I forgot :P…. you guys are very special in my life… Thank you. Muaaaaaaaah (Dodges slippers thrown by you-know who ;)) bye guys :) :) love you….

A special day

So i'm not dead..... *silence* ok you can celebrate ;)

ok so i'm back like the undead mummy in all those mummy movies...... for past 2 months except remya nobody even cared to ask where was i!!! well tuku asked once and also anwesa... ok ok but nobody else... how mean of you guys... i loved you (for boys in a non gay manner mind you :P)....

anyways bad things aside today is a very special day... so i'll let you skip by... becasue today is friend jasmine's b'day :)

I met jasmine online 4 years back through orkut and we have been best frenz ever since and today is her b'day.. yay.. i'm so happy :)

It was jasmine who filled me up with confidence which i dint have and gave me a reason to live life... she has been a part of me all the time from i met her... she has been there when i creid, weeped, got kicked in the balls, when i fell in love with a girl, when i fell out of it, and rgt now when i chasing another ;)

Jasmine is the mrng sun... no matter how dark the ngt i can expect her always to come back :)... ok that wasn't original.. so i'll explain her in my own unique way...

Debaraty majumdar(i always miss spell her name, and i have a difficulty in pronouncing it ;) always :P)... or jasmine as i call her... made me what i am today... i was nerdy geek(even more) and shy as a new born calf when i met her(online ;)) but she showed me how the world is, how beautiful it can be... and how immense are the possibilities in which i can achieve my dreams :)

She has been my rain, my clouds, my sun, my sky, my earth, but most important my best friend :).... there is a part of me which remembers her everyday(even though i dont msg or call for like, months :P, because both of us are stingy :P)

But jasmine is one of my best gal pals :)... its because of her i learned how to talk to girls, how to impress them... how to become a man from the boy i really was... and thats just the one thing...there are so many more things that i have learned from her :)

Jasmine is the one i care about... everyday... even though she's far from me. e
Every time i feel sad because of something i remember her... every moment i'm happy i wanna share it with her... and i'm so so glad that its her b'day today and even greater news that she landed a government job... in SBI y'day, which she was yearning for so long :)... i think god has his own way of giving us presents ... and i'm glad she is happy :)

Just wanna say happy birthday to my dear, very dear, cute, funny, sweet, best friend jasmine :) happy b'day to you :)... frenz for life, you and me jasmine :) take care


Well thats about that... guys i have so much to share and talk abt and i'm going to the indi blogger meet on Sunday to bangalore... its gonna be the first time i'm visiting it... and i'm so so so so excited... i'm so excited that my farts can blow me to the moon :P... anyway... cya very soon to share that and more experiences... :) love you all.... take care :)

The Return

“(Lightning sound) Muhuhaha....Buhuhahaha..... (Lightning sound)

Bow to me...Bow...You....F.......Fa.....Fabulous ;) people.....I am back. *smiles*”

That was EVIL M making a dramatic entrance as always....Hey guys how have you been?...I was out of blogging for a long time, as you might have noticed(You have noticed haven't you?)

Well as I said, I had exams and many different things to do in the holidays (Which I had planned for months), and different things I did, just not which I had planned of...

So this post is the update about what I was upto all holidays....So let’s begin. :)

Well to start things off, let’s start with the bad news shall we...

1) I dint go the internship as said, I know many of you would be going as 'Awww why?' (Say yes at least this time yaar!) Well i'm assuming you asked why (With an awww of course ;))... well our dear chairperson in the department got changed and with that the whole regulation changed.

She said “You go that internship young boy, and you will get your ass whipped till it turns red, blue and god knows what color”

Well no, she dint really say that, she just gave some boring reply that I should go at the end of my 2^nd year because the rules have changed or something like that, so I just paraphrased her words(In my way of course) (God, i'm gonna be one hell of a journalist :P)

Anyhoo, (I learnt that from choco ;)) so I dint go, and I thought that was the only disappointment i'm gonna have this holidays, but no, there was another one.

2) I decided i'll go to my best friend chavan's room in banglore, I go there whenever I feel low (and whenever I can, for that matter ;)), because we 2 have so much fun, my mom even asked one time, “Thousif, You spend more time with chavan that coming here to your real home in coorg, I hope chavan hasn't adopted you already?”

I was so so excited(as you know he has 24 hours Internet, a karaoke machine, 108inch LCD TV, no rules whatsoever), I wanted to give him a surprise by going to him unannounced, but something clicked in me

(EVIL M: It was me!!)

Yeah and so I sent him a message on the eve of going, saying 'i'm coming tomorrow', and he replied by saying, “Don't come, I changing my room this month”, putting another end to my well planned plan.

I was sad, I hopped onto my bed, rested my head on my pillow drank a cold beer, ate some wafers, and looked up to the sky, and asked god “Why god, why, why did you ruin my plans?”

(Lightning sound)

Suddenly everything went dark and I closed my eyes, after sometime I opened them, when a divine voice said to me “Get the hell up, it 11'o lock in the morning you ass”, That was SAM, my cousin bro, I woke up from my bed and was all sad, he asked me and I said the reason.

He looked at me resting his hands on my shoulders and said “Life happens when you are busy making plans”, I was amazed, my dumb bro, giving me knowledge(stolen of course ;)), I have got to be dreaming but my other bro FAR hit me with a tennis ball in my family jewels proving me, I was(painfully)awake.

And so I thought, I thought about SAM's stolen thought, and decided i'll not make plans,i'll just enjoy what comes along in my life, so now comes the happy news...Be prepared :)

1) As I couldn't go to chavan's home I decided i'll go to my own home, mom had been asking me for ages to come home, and I had just gone twice in a year, reason for it was mostly because, mom and visited me once a month.

And as I thought, I realized I was just wasting holidays in my aunt's home, why not go home! what have I got to lose.

But I did lose, I lost the loneliness which I was suffering from due to a break up(which happened when my exams were going on, so god knows how i'll fare in the exams) I came home, I mean really home, sitting beside mom watching all those hindi serials, (which are as long as the wall of china). Ah bliss ;)

I got so addicted to those serials; i'm watching them now, daily. See going home changes ya ;), but it was not the serials, it was the joy in my parents eyes which held me, mom wanted to make me all the special dishes she is renowned for(She makes the awesomest kheer, and biryani) but I couldn't enjoy that too, because of the acidity problem I was having. But beside all that, it was the love I felt, there were more rules than my aunt's house, like bath daily, get up early, Cut your nails(What am I? A baby), but as I said the biggest perk of all was being there to see mom and dad every morning smiling towards me.

Every morning I used to have the dreamiest of breakfast I have only dreamed of in my aunt's home, every morning it was a pleasure to wake up to, uh I loved it, and then while I was living the dream, another awesome thing happened by which I had to get back to Mysore (Enter a high pitched shriek here)

2)

I became a Chachu. Again ;)

Yes, my bhaiya and bhabi gave birth to a son, just kidding, well actually it was just my bhabi :P.

EHAN .The proud new addition to our family, you gotta see him, ah he is so cute. You know I dint like kids very much, in fact until I came to Mysore I had never held a baby, because of the fear that I would drop them. And with Ehan it was even more(I still haven't picked him up yet) but honestly, when I touched him, it was the warmest of feeling ever, The color of his cheeks, the innocence his eyes, the way he smiles, Oh, I loved him then and there.

Every day I look at him, it makes me fell so good. I imagine this was how I looked when I was born, this was how my mom and dad took care of me, the crying, the sleepless nights, the love which I got from my parents, i'm witnessing all that. And I feel so much more love for my parents, they were there when I was born, and are still there while i'm pursuing my dreams, I feel so blessed, and i'm so happy for everything god has given to me.*Cries uncontrollably*

Enter EVIL M.

Stop crying like a baby, thousif cries whenever he is emotional, let him enjoy his girly moment for a while. So let’s carry on the good news shall we, what did you think, that was it.... Nope there is still another one.

Well this one actually started before the holidays, during his exams. Thousif met a girl, well actually no, he hasn't met her after they have got to know each other, but its coming soon.

*Blows nose* Ok i'm back, hope EVIL M wasn't much trouble, so as he said, I've met someone. Before I start the 'goon gaan' about her, lemme just tell you some thing.

I'm assuming you've all seen Salaam-Namaste, so in that the heroine Priety zinta is frenz with Jugal hansraj in her college. Who have this awesome friendship between them (If you don't remember anything, go watch the movie again you IDIOT, no that’s became a nice word of late, lemme rephrase that, You STUPID), if you don't remember, here is a recent observation

I hope to god you've seen Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, you have Na? ok in that film there is this friendship between jaggu (The weird hair styles guy) and Aditi's friend who is a girl (Not boms)(I forgot her name :P :P) who have this awesome friendship between them

So I hope you've remembered

(EVIL M: I have a headache, would you get to the point already?)

Point ok here it is, from my childhood I....

(EVIL M: Childhood, really?? from childhood!!, you hated girls till your 1oth standard remember...)

Ok not from childhood then, from my Pre university college days....

(EVIL M: Better....)

Ok from those days I wanted a to befriend a girl, who would be cool, with whom I could be me, With whom I would not pretend about things, with whom I could talk anything, anything.. With whom...

(EVIL M: Oh god, we get it, enough with the “with whom's” already, continue would ya...)

So as I was saying, a girl who would not pretend, with who you can have an actual conversation with, a friend who would be there when you are in trouble, a friend who would give you some real advice in difficult situations, whether its for buying sneakers or knickers for that matter :P.

A girl who would be just like Preity in salaam namaste, and that 'other girl' in Jaane tu....

(EVIL M: Kill me god, please kill me...)

Oh k, getting to the point, I have found the perfect friend, a girl with whom, you can talk anything, with whom you can crack the lousiest joke and she would still smile (Just to see you smile), a friend who you can rest assured, will be there when trouble strikes. (I'm talking about all sorts, girl advice, style advice, or any advice for that matter ;))

I have always been the guy who values friendships because of the comfort they provide to you, because they give the meaning towards one's life, and with her I found another beautiful meaning of what friendship is all about. Her name is Shruti (I call her pihu :)).

Pihu is the most good hearted person i've met till now, but she has a killer anger (So, i've been warned ;)) When I first looked at her, I knew she was nice person, but when I got to know her, I really got to know, how sweet and nice she really is. She is the person I can’t count upon any day and i'm proud to say, that she joins the elite club of my best frenz. *hugz*

P.S to pihu.

Pihu here is the magnificent, majestic, maggi....no.... magical (and virtual: P) crown of my friendship which I gift to you :) You are officially my best friend now...*Cries uncontrollably*

Enter EVIL M

I.am.sick.of.that.guy, even a girl wouldn't cry that much. Right girls? So would any of you girls wanna adopt me....as your boyfriend* (wink)

*(Offer open only for beautiful girls ;))

I'm back... so that’s that guys, I had a holiday like i've never had before, and found many things, which i'm really proud of and happy for..... hope you have a guys awesome week ahead... :)

Take care, love you all :)

The motion act

The post that you are about to read is extremely stinky, airy, and god knows what... so beware... you were WARNED. but if you do dare, you are gonna die laughing ;)... your choice ;)

“Ah....” I opened my mouth aloud as I got up from my afternoon nap... I felt something going around in my stomach. It felt like a train chugging along a mountain path, and I instantly knew I was in trouble. I ran to the bathroom

Drrr......Brrrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH..........

Me singing in a satisfied(Read:Very bad) tone “I feel good...., I knew that I would now. I feeeeeel..... bad”

Run... Run...Run.....

Drrr.....Brrrr......*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH................

Singing again “I feel good.... I knew that I........Oi”

Run.....Run....Run

Drrr.......Brrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH.................

In a sad tone “I feel.... empty”

“Uh.....i think something is wrong with my stomach” I said

“You think” replied EVIL M imitating in Hannah Montana's voice

“I told you, not to eat that thela wala Gobi Manchurian... now suffer you dimwit” said EVIL M

“But my frenz said it was good, and so I thought you were tricking me, because I deleted those Megan Fox pics from the computer”

“I'm still angry for that, and looking at you right now, kinda makes me happy” said EVIL M “but, kinda sad too, because if you continue like this, I wont be able to relish the taste of all those pizzas and chats you eat” he paused to think “and something else that is very important... which I'm forgetting...”

“Girls...” I reminded him.

“Correction...hitting on girls” he said and smiled, “so get ready now, lets go the doctor and get you fixed.”

So I got ready, my god it was like a herculean task. I was completely unsure of my stomach, it was like a time bomb, which could explode any moment.

I was sweating(like every time ;))

“Oh for god's sake, we are not going to kargil war, stop sweating you pig” screamed EVIL M

Ignoring him as always, I got ready and reached the doctor, after examination he said “I think its loose motions” he said with a sad face

“You think?” shouted EVIL M, “What kind of a doctor have you brought yourself to thousif? saala, meri yaha phat rahi hai, and dukh isko ho raha hai....”

I shushed M, getting a weird look from the doctor. I looked at the doctor and asked him

“Whats do you mean by 'I think' doctor?”

“You have severe gastric problem, and your body heat is more than normal, so I'm pretty sure that's what triggering your bowels in the wrong way” he answered.

I then thought of mom who would always say to me to eat at proper time and me being the typical teenager never would. I silently moved down from the examination table holding my stomach like a pregnant woman.

“Slowly lady, you might trip...Tumhare pao bhari hain beti, Sambhalke...” EVIL M sniggered

The doctor prescribed some medicine and then laid out my food plan for the next 3 days...and when I listened to him about what I would eat ....I fainted.

“CURD RICE, Three times a day” he said waking me up.

“Nooooooooo....I wanna strangle the doctor.... let me.. let me” cried EVIL M from my head mentally lunging towards the doctor.

I mentally held him back and said

“But doc...”

“No buts, if you wanna be all right. This is what you will eat, with ORS”(Oral rehydration Something :P) he said with a commanding look.

“Nooooooooo....I wanna strangle the doctor.... let me.. let me” cried EVIL M again from my head mentally lunging towards the doctor. Again

I again held him back, and said “Behave yourself”

“What...Did I do something wrong?” the doctor said bewildered.

I waved my hands saying nothing, paid him and then quickly reached home...

I reached home and crashed onto the couch, 2 hours passed by and thankfully, the bathroom dance dint happen

“I think we scared it away when we went to the doctor, I am so smart aint I” said EVIL M

“Yeah, very...” I said

Just then my stomach howled like the were wolf, who desperately wanted to meet his partner.

Run, Run, Run

Drrr......Brrrr....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH

“Ah.... ahhhh.... my stomach feels like a burst out drum” I said

“Muhahahaha” laughed EVIL M “I'm so enjoying looking at you right now, but its hurting me too, drink some water” he advised

And I drank.... glass pe glass, glass pe glass, and just like Mc dowels wine AD, my bhabi would say “Ek aur ho jaye”

I somehow managed through the evening, When my bhabi came to my room and called me for dinner

I saw my plate, Rice soaked with curds. “Is that what I think it is?” asked EVIL M startled

I nodded, “My god, I didn't knew you would actually put me through this” said EVIL M

“Put you through this. What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I screamed,

“Even though its you who eats, I am the one who has to experience the taste, Why god oh why?” wailed EVIL M.

I put a spoonful of rice into my mouth, it had a (very)sour taste, nothing else... I munched the rice, still no taste... I put in another spoonful, it was more sour than the last one.

“Oh god, someone please give me some poison, at least that would have some tangy taste, I wanna throw up” said EVIL M.

“Oh please stop over acting, its not as bad you assume, and if we have to eat all those chats and pizzas, we have to brave through this, so help me out and think of the most delicious food you can think of, so we can gulp this down” I said and pointed towards the rice.

EVIL M smiled and thought of every tasty food imaginable and the rice was in my stomach in no time, the night passed by without any more encounters, but still the tiger in my stomach was far from tamed.

It growled through the night, and I woke up the next morning half asleep along with fuzzed up hair.

“Ahhhhhhhhh” my bhabi and bhaiya screamed together looking at me early in the morning.

I covered my ears and said “Not, so loud jeez..”

“Thousif, listen to me, you are going to cut that hair first thing today, or else I am gonna cut it myself” my bhaiya barked “and believe me its not gonna be a pretty sight”

I bathed my hair and made it 'look nice', looking at it, my bhabi started joking..

“It looks like a cuckoo's nest”

“Cuckoo doesn't build a nest” I snapped

“Why should it?, when you are building one on your head” she giggled running a hand through my 'nest'

I was getting frustrated. My stomach acting like a hibernating bear at one side, and my hair looking like an abandoned forest on the other. While EVIL M was acting like a school kid who is forbidden from sugar.

All this was driving my nuts. So I finally took matters into my own hands. Which proved as always....Brilliant :)

I finished college then went to my regular barber, and got to know that he was out of town, so I went to the one beside him.

He was a old guy with trembling fingers, so I thought, the only safe hair cut would be a military cut, with a little spiky hair in the front.

I got the same, and was satisfied with the result, not because of the haircut, but because my ears had survived the 'cut'.

I came home had a bath, heard some growling in my stomach, so in the evening, ate the curd rice(again) hearing to the wails of EVIL M(again).

Finishing the dinner and Drinking the only drink I was allowed to. The ORS. The slimy sweet, salty liquid. I put the crying EVIL M and myself to sleep.

At 12.30 in the night I woke up hearing a roaring sound, I looked out at the window, and saw there was no thunderstorm. I was surprised and was thinking where had the sound came from.

I couldn't think half asleep, so I as I was about to go back to sleep. I heard the sound again and came to know it was own stomach.

I powered up my computer and started listening to some (very)sad songs. Half an hour later, I found out my stomach had fallen asleep, so I put off the computer and went to sleep.

I woke up in the morning feeling a little better, and for break fast. I had the rice again. I then asked bhabi “Whats for lunch?”

“Do you want me to answer that?” she asked with a mischievous look in her eyes

I brushed past her and then went to college.

Finishing college, I came back around 3. I went into the kitchen to pour myself some curds, when I smelled a fragrance so rich in taste, that the flood gates in my mouth broke open along with EVIL M, who woke up with a start(he was sleeping the whole day, even in class)

“Whatever it is eat it, I don't care, eat it” he cried

I saw that bhabi had made biryani for lunch, I looked at it. And my eyes were all gold.

Just like a lion sees its juicy prey before a kill, I saw the biryani devouring it with my eyes.

My bhabi came in and said smiling “Stop staring, you dirty boy"

Pulling my eyes out of the biryani, I walked towards my room, sad, when my bhabi called me back and said “howz your stomach now?”

“The tiger is not tamed yet” I said

She smiled “Then have some biryani itself na, maybe that will help. Reverse psychology” she said and brought me half a plate of biryani.

After 3 days of eating just curd rice, and now looking at the heavenly smelling dish, I couldn't take my fingers of it. I finished it in 5 minutes, and was already asking for more.

“Not so soon, its enough for now, have a little more at dinner” she advised

I agreed halfheartedly. And looked at my stomach. It was as quiet as a baby sleeping in the night wearing pampers. The tiger had been tamed.

Night came and I ate some more biryani, and then in the morning I was fit as a fiddle. I was laughing, smiling, dancing and crying, and wonder of wonders this time it was not me. It was EVIL M.

“We braved it, we braved it, we won the war against our enemy” said EVIL M with tear filled eyes

“Yes we did buddy, we won” I said smiling back to him...

The next morning

Drrr...Brrr.....*Unimaginable sound*

FLUSH

My bhabi came out of the bathroom looking just like me(the 3 days before wala me ;)) and said “I think something is wrong with my stomach”

I and EVIL M looked at her smiling the most wicked smile ever and said “you will be all right in no time bhabi, no time” we smiled again and said “We will help you through it”

“Nooooooooo” she screamed and what happened next was.... ha ha... ha ha.... “Muhahahaha” ;) I guess you know... :)

Have an awesome week ahead guys. :) take care. And thank you so much for reading completely (If you read completely ;)) Love you all :).