Confessions/Love Dissected

As I sit back listening to Gavin Rossdale singing his song “Love remains the same”, it feels so good when I hear it, like its soothing my soul, and I want to believe him, that, love will remain the same, but I just can’t, you know why.., cause love doesn’t remain the same, the bitterness which comes into a relationship never fades out, your heart may skip a beat when you see the person you once loved, but it just doesn’t beat like it did, when you first saw the person whom you fell in love with, you feel sorry, not for yourself, but for the person, because the person was just not worth your love.

when she came into my life, my life blossomed into the most beautiful thing ever, which I thought was only possible in dreams, but as time went by the magic disappeared, she started ignoring me, I tried and tried to recreate the magic but to no result, I tried telling myself ‘everything will be all right’, but it seems like, it never will, the dream which I once loved to live in, has shattered into a million pieces, and every piece pierces my heart with a sharpness of a needle, and with the force of an axe, it happens every time I think about her, and just like Gavin sings in the song ‘I am done pretending’, I too am done pretending, I know I gotta move on, which I eventually will, but still, the part which loved her doesn’t want to, why?? I don’t know, I want to find out but I just can’t, I want back the things as they were, but just like a star falling out of the sky, there is just no getting back to..

God it hurts, how I wish love remained the same, maybe I should get the punishment for loving her, maybe this is the punishment, maybe I should just close this chapter of my life and move on, But,

the damn But, doesn’t go out of my life, it just stays back, telling me, it’s your fault, it’s your fault, even when I damn sure know it isn’t, the only crime I did was, I loved her more than what I should have, but is there a limit for loving someone??, that you love this much and that, No Right…and just like that, she became a part of me, its 2 in the night when i write this and not a wink of sleep is in my eye, why?? Because I love her, I hate myself for loving her, but there is just no turning back, why?? Because I love her, I just ask myself 1 Question,

Is loving someone honestly Wrong??, and the only answer I get back is Yes, Yes, Yes it is……… I gave her all the love I had and got none in return, why?? Because I loved her with all my heart in it, I did, and for the crime that I committed, I am suffering, suffering miserably, just like that I am……

They say love has the power to heal any pain, but for me, it has just become a pain which has no medicine for it, if only………, if only I could find a cure, but no I can’t, why?? Because I love her..

And just like Gavin finishes the song, by saying, everything will change, we could last forever, I want to believe him, and in a way I do, why?? Because I still love her…