The impact of negative thoughts

What do we do when we are feeling very low? We try to find inspiration and motivation from people who have achieved greatness in life. We look up to those who have succeeded in-spite of difficult circumstances around them. We look at the ones who’ve created an impact on several lives.
We see these people and then try to reassure ourselves that everything is going to be alright by updating our status to positive sayings from famous people and writing blog posts about how everything is going to be okay.

I am 28 years old. By now I have had a lot of breakdowns. Every time this happens I want to give up everything and run away. I want to go to a place where I can just read novels and eat pizza and ice cream all day, every day. During these breakdowns, I used to wallow in self-pity and self-sympathy and cry myself to sleep for a few days. And just like that one morning, I used to wake up and snap out of this whole self-pity thing. I used to take charge of the situation, read a little motivating & inspirational stuff and come out of this blackness into the bright light and again everything used to be colorful and fun and nice until the next breakdown. That was how it was, every time.

With experience and wisdom, I started questioning all these motivational and inspirational sayings. One time I found a saying which said "Do what makes you happy" and I started thinking maybe I am in the wrong profession; maybe this is not what I want to be and I should do something which makes me happy.

I would dream about a job where just reading novels all day would get me paid. I would totally rock at that job. While in this search for what makes me happy, I stumbled upon another quote "I don't think you should just do what makes you happy. Do what makes you great. Do what's hard and uncomfortable and scary and hard but pays off in the long run." After reading this, I thought, I shouldn’t just do what makes me happy. I should do something bold and brave even though I wouldn’t like it sometimes.

Thoughts like these make you question everything you have ever believed in. You suddenly remember that saying which you really took to heart about how "If it is supposed to happen, it will happen" and think what if it was supposed to happen but I didn't make it happen; what if I had tried harder and made it happen. And with this thought comes a flood of regrets, a night of crying and a blizzard of what-ifs. Navigating through this minefield of negative thoughts drowns your energy. It messes you up. You break down again.

So, I made my own quote, which I say to myself all the time "Papple"*in little minion voice with a big toothy smile* and in addition to that, I keep telling to myself "It will be alright. You will pull through. I trust you."

In the end, it’s not about finding the right motivator to follow. It is about being your own motivator. You have to write down about all your breakdowns to learn how you got back up from them.  You have to never quit on life. You have to tell yourself that how you will never quit. How you will never give power to negative thoughts and let them impact your decisions. Because the truth is, you are the only one who knows you best. And that means when you breakdown, you have to be strong enough to pick yourself back up and live life that’ll make you happy. 

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.