The story of the faulty stairs and the head-butting goat

Work work work, that’s how life has been. But then comes the bonus of working in an AD agency every week. Holidays on Saturday and Sunday when I can finally go meet my parents and everyone living at my aunt’s. There are a total of 8 people in my aunt’s home and that includes 2 of my bhabi’s. Among them is my fav bhabi Tasmia :).

She is adorable and helps me out in every possible way. Cooks all my fav dishes and is a real fun person to be with.

I’ll tell you one thing, people who are nice are always taken advantage of and it was no different with my bhabi. Only this time, the advantage taking selfish human being was me. Yes, I can be cunning too :P.

I was on my weekly visit to my bhabi’s home, when I saw that they were shifting some things from their storeroom in the house below(in which they were living) to the house above(where they are living now). I saw them carrying heavy items and I being the nice guy that I am offered help. I started carrying things and then I saw the dinner set, entirely made out of crystal. It was a magnificent piece, so beautiful, and very costly. I offered my help in carrying it too, they were reluctant, but finally let me (Arey, I am 22 years old yaar, or 23? I am confused :P) .

As bad things always come my way, this day was no different, I started carrying and then it happened. I saw a cat at the road beside sneezing relentlessly and jumping up in the air. I started laughing totally forgetting about the dinner set i had in my hands. It started doing some really crazy antics, when the goat that was going beside it was irritated and rushed forward to head butt it when the unthinkable happened.

A guy who was walking without a care in the world got a weird surprise when the charging goat mistakenly head butted into the guy’s behind, getting its horns stuck there.

It was freaking hilarious and i was laughing so hard that I dint notice my footing on the stairs and lost my balance and DHADAAM!!! the whole dinner set came crashing down. Everyone in my aunt’s family came out, I looked at the man who was still struggling to get the goat’s head from his behind and I looked at myself and said ‘we both are screwed today yaar’.

My Bhabi saw the disaster of a dinner set and started yelling ‘What the hell happened here?’.

I quickly shifted my head from here to there and an idea flashed in my head. I yelled back ‘It’s all your fault’.

‘WHAT?’ she said surprised.

‘How many times have I told you to get those steps fixed’ I said pointing my finger to a dent in the stairs where the cement had come out.

‘It’s dangerous, dangerous!! I’ve said it so many times but nobody listens to me. Now see what has happened’ I said.

‘So you stepped on that and fell, and I have to believe it?’ she asked looking at me.

‘Then what bhabi, why would I lie to you?’ I said and my gaze shifted to the guy on the road who was now kicking the goat which was trying to head butt it again. I snickered.

‘See see’ my bhabi started ‘..breaks my favorite dinner set and laughs too’ she said pointing towards my smile.

‘How can you say that bhabi?? What if your son had dropped those plates slipping from those stairs, would you have blamed him the same way you are blaming me?’ I said hurt and started to cry.

Wow Thousif is so emotional you might say, it’s nothing like that. The reality is that I have this ability where I can cry without reason. I know it’s weird but I can cry at will, it’s not an awesome quality but I think it’s kinda cool.

So, I started tearing up and the whole atmosphere changed.

‘I could have seriously hurt myself you know’ I said sniffling and my bhabi melted.

‘I have said so many times to repair those stairs but you bhabi you….’ I sniffled ‘You never listen to me’ I said and sniffled some more.

She totally bought into it and said ‘It’s ok, don’t cry. Yes the mistake is mine I should have got your bhaiya to repair those stairs’ She said and started collecting the broken pieces. I joined in smiling as I thought how cunningly I escaped from the situation; later in the evening I saw my bhaiya fixing the stairs.

Good day indeed I said to myself; even though it started with a horrific accident. Yeah, sometimes you have to be cunning to escape from a bad situation, even if it means crying fake tears. I am so proud of my abilty :P.

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The wrong time to pickup something

Every morning I have to travel in buses to go to work and it’s packed in such a way that you ask yourself, ‘Am I travelling in a bus or Winrar’s edition of human compression factory??

It’s very difficult and one of the unsaid rules which you have to follow when you are in a bus is: Never touch a girl, even by mistake; else you are beaten to pulp. I thought the Monday morning of 12^th November would be a normal one, but this day would bring me something I’d remember for a long time in my life.

I got onto the bus and it was packed as ever, I was pushed and pushed and pushed from the back till I reached the girls section of the bus in the front. Among the girls many were students who were on their way to college. I was behind a girl and I saw her hair, it looked beautiful and smelled like dove shampoo. At least some good things happen in bad times I thought. I tried to back away but the bus was very full and I continued to smell her hair, involuntarily, its then when I saw it.

I saw that her bag was open and something fell out from it. I let my hand slide from the bar I was holding above my head to pick it up. As I bent down I dint notice that the pin in my watch got stuck to her dupatta and slid down with my hand and to everyone else in the bus it seemed like I was pulling the dupatta forcefully from this girl’s shoulder.

‘STOP! STOP! WHAT ARE YOUR DOING??!!’ She screamed.

I looked up and said ‘What?’, totally clueless and then I saw what had happened. I was about to explain when I saw the conductor rush forward towards me.

The bus was stopped and every eye on the bus was locked on me like hungry cheetahs waiting to tear my flesh apart.

My brain analyzing the situation saw that there was no hope for me now and said ‘Dude, goodbye it was nice living inside of your head’ and shut itself off. That’s what brain does right?, shuts itself off in these kind of situations, especially mine.

The yelling began: ‘Hey, hey hey..’ said the conductor ‘Was it you who stripped the dupatta of this girl’ he asked

‘Yes, it was me’ I said confidently. I was surprised at the confidence in my voice.

‘Oho ho look at the audacity of this guy..’ The conductor said ‘..does such a dirty thing as pulling a girl of her respect’ he said addressing to her dupatta ‘and admits it too. Come let’s beat him up’.

‘WAIT!!’ I yelled. ‘I admit I did it and I’ll do it again if I have to’ I said.

(I am a good guy, believe me....)

There was a collective haan running through the bus, like this was the most disgraceful thing that they have ever heard. But what could I do!! With my brain asleep I was saying what I felt was right, but it was coming out all wrong.

The conductor came forward and held my collar, extending his arm out, ready to turn my face into a pizza base, when I screamed ‘But do you know why I did it?’

He was surprised at the tone of my voice; instead of apologizing I was arguing my cause. ‘No, we don’t want to know, I just want to bash your skull, join me in brothers’ the conductor roared. I think he had a vengeance against his wife who always used to beat him up, and he was trying to take it out on me.

‘It’s because of this’ I said holding a piece of paper, displaying it like the declaration of independence. It obviously was because it would guarantee my freedom from these guys.

It was a hall ticket for an examination the girl had to attend that day. She came forward and checked it and said ‘Oh, thank you so much but why did you pull my dupatta?’

‘It was because of this’ I brought my other hand into view. A pin was sticking out of my watch.

‘when I bent down to pick your hall ticket, your dupatta got stuck to my watch pin and followed its stride down, making me seem like a… you know who’ I said embarrassed.

Everybody understood that I was innocent and I saw the girl smiling towards me and then giggling when she understood her mistake.

‘Hug her’ my brain coming back from its slumber said. Oh lord, my brain.

Everybody sat down and I went up to the conductor and said. ‘Next time when you try to beat a guy black and blue, listen to what he has to say first. Not everyone is a pervert’ I said firmly.

He lowered his eyes and went back. I sat beside the same girl listening to her talk, it was nonstop. I smiled at what could have been my half-murder for sure. ‘Thank you’ I said to the god above and smiled at the memory made.

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest ‘Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

The wrong turn to the right side

I love Sunday morning, you can do what you want when you want; given that you can wake up on time. I was excited from the time I woke up because I’d be going out with my friend to watch a movie. We went on his bike finished watching the movie and I was riding back with him. We had made plans that we’d go to a friend’s place and surprise more friends with a party. We were riding shouting the movie’s dialogues at the peak of our voices when suddenly a traffic inspector called us to a stop. ‘Oh, shit’ we both said in unison.

‘Take out your license’ he said.

My friend took out his license, he showed all the other necessary documents required and I thought we’d get out without any fine. I thought wrong.

As it was Sunday and ‘business’ was going low for the poor policeman, he took a thorough inspection of our bike. The fact that we were caught screaming in a lonely looking street dint help our cause either. He completed his inspection and said, ‘Your tail light doesn’t work pay 500 rupees’ I saw the tail light that the inspector suggested and said to myself that tail light is cursed sir, that’s why.The reason for it was, no matter what you did, how much you changed the wiring, bulbs anything, it never worked.

We put out a united front and said ‘Why sir. It’s just a tail light why are you charging us with 500 rupees?’

‘Don’t speak too much, give me the money or else lets go to the police station, now’ he ordered.

I had had enough ‘Sir, it’s just a tail light, you can let us go with a warning, why do you want to take a bribe for it, that to 500 rupees?’ I said.

Taken aback for a second, he looked at me. I being a fat looking lean guy had no power in my arms. He weighed his odds that if a fight started, getting punched by me would be next to nil, so he came forward boring his eyes into me and asked me ‘You won’t pay?’

‘No, to hell with it. We dint break the law, I know our taillight doesn’t work but that doesn’t mean you ask us for a bribe’ I said.

‘The punk who has come yesterday to Bangalore will teach me what to do and what not..’ he said and raised his hand to hit me. Just then a jeep came from around the corner with a bunch of guys screaming “Free our nation from this curse, kill corruption in its base”

The jeep was a part of the rally being done in the name of Anna Hazare (bless you sir), and these guys were going to the main stadium where the meeting was to be held. I agree there wouldn’t be any praise for their poor rhyming skills but these guys would eventually save my life so listen.

I ran in front of the jeep and told them what the inspector was doing and how he was asking for money. They got down and started walking towards the Inspector with clear intentions that they were going to beat him down when I meddled in and said ‘Don’t hit him, let’s take him to the police station’.

He was reluctant, cursing and saying so many colorful words (which are not meant for younger viewers), when the guys thought they had had enough they pushed him into the jeep. Screaming his name along with the corruption slogans, they made the run to the nearest police station where they explained the whole situation to the inspector there.

Seeing so many people at once the inspector was scared for a second. He listened to both the sides and then led us out with a warning, booking a case against the inspector.

We came out of the station among a fleet of guys who thought corruption was killed that day by saving us. They started lifting us up as we were some sort of heroes and they pushed me up higher and higher. I was afraid, if I dint get kissed by the officer’s hand earlier, I’d surely be kissing the ground below if these guys pushed me any higher. But I saw their smiles and I understood that it was a win for both of us. I joined in with them and had a magnificent day ahead cursing the corrupt leaders of our nation and partying with them later. It was a good Sunday indeed; I saved my behind and saved my nation a little too. Hurray ;)

This post was written for the Indiblogger contest 'Sets you on fire’

Disclaimer: All images have been taken from google. I have no right over any of them.

A message of love

I am so lazy guys nai? sometimes I am so lazy that I myself am surprised ke MY GOD, how lazy can i be...

EVIL M: is par awards bante hain America may... * laziest kamina award* char pade huwe hai tv ke upar... gadha..

(Rolls eyes) hmm to what I was saying ke… I had been reading one of my old posts...

EVIL M: Ahaha (Enter old 70's style saas blaming bahu voice) karam jali ke karname to dekho... dusroon ke blog nahi padta... khud ke blog post bar bar padte rehta hai... stupid..

Haan dey galiyan de... pura haq hai tujhe...

EVIL M: galiyan nahi... bum pay char laat padegi na... tabhi.. tabhi pata chalega tujhe... kaash arpit or suruchi kahin ass pass hote... itne lagwata tujhe... itne lagwate na... hmph

EVIL M naraz hai... kya aap log bhi naraz ho? (Gum naam hai koi song plays in the background because of all the sanaata as people are nowhere to be found) mere khayal say ho...

The reason for the blog post is solely you guys... every one of you reader out there... I read the Bangalore kid post... and I read the comments and I felt so good... reading all your comments it made me smile so much...

Yes I am busy... yes I don’t have time to even pee sometimes...

EVIL M: Kuch chahiye kya... not peeing problem solve karne ke liye? jaise ki... he he *evil laugh*... diaper mangwadun adult wale.. size 'S' :P ha ha ha... I am laughing so much..

EVIL nai sudharega... I have no time... but I so wanna write. I did some amazing things ... and amazing things happened to me... like I was caught by the police one time and also where I was thrown into a 40 feet deep water hole even when I said to a guy that I donno swimming... and those incidents are true... unlike the other fancy ones i mention sometimes... and I so wanna write... but am not able to find time.. I will write... I am making a promise now... that I will write about all those times... :)

Any way this is just a update to tell you.. I miss you guys and yeah I am alive... I miss all you guys who read my blog and love me so much... I love you all for coming here.. reading whatever I put out (EVIL M: which is mostly crap :P) and loving me so much..

It felt really great to read those comments... I read them at least 10 times ... so guys thank you so much... you guys always make me smile with your comments... :)

I will be back soon... promise :)... this time real promise... not the promise tooth paste wala promise... (Is that toothpaste even in production rgt now ?:P)

LOVE U :)

An 'bang' to remember

Evening sunlight….Nobody at home…. Music playing on the stereo….. All this makes a recipe to do that one thing….One thing you always wanted to do when you are lonely…With nobody to fear too, You just enjoy while doing it…Even though it hurts sometimes…Ah the pleasure … Yeah… It’s…….

Head Banging :P

That was exactly what I did just 2 days after valentine’s, my aunt had this wedding (Read: tragedy) to attend, and she with all the family members would be gone from 6 in the evening to 10 at night, I was free in that time, till my brother would come back from work…So with the suggestion of EVIL M, I indulged in my coveted hobby, Listening to songs loudly, I put up songs so loud, that the neighbors thought ghouls and dogs had started a Gig of their own, with lighting in the mix… It was loud, I mean so LOUD that I could not hear myself.

Alice cooper, Motor head, Bullet for my valentine, AC/DC, I listened to them all, I head banged so much, that I had a sprain in my neck, but I also had this pain in my ankle, and in my wrist, and in my hips, and I have no idea how that happened.. But kudos, in addition to that sprains and pains, I also had some gains ;), I lost weight :P, maybe it was due to screaming, like a bad pressure cooker, or the donkey on weed dance (just imagine…Actually Don’t :P ),I “worked out”, and when my bro saw me the first day, all drenched in sweat, he asked “Dude…Did you break the shower again?” :P

I had so much fun, I forgot all about the lousy V day that went by, where I was stuck eating a bad curry, with pasta and noodles (made by me) which looked liked 2 brooms burnt together, I was thankful for the 2 whole days in which I enjoyed freedom… ah… so all you children out there, here is some advice from EVIL M himself…

“Head bang and you will lose weight… Guaranteed results”

(Sprains may occur in neck, leading to brain injury, adviser is not responsible in anyway for your attempts)

Then 2 of the most unexpected things happened, I never in my life anticipated them, but well, they were bound to happen someday, still they gave me shock of surprise when they finally happened.

One was when my very good friend (You will know, why I am calling her very good. very shortly ;) :P)

R.J went to her home in Kolkata for a week after the exams on a V.L (Voluntary Leave :)), and she messaged me after getting back that she had, so much…., so much….., so much fun,

EVIL M said “Visiting home is fun, but why is she so…, so…, so excited?”, I had no idea so I asked her, and when I got to know the real deal…. Oh….She had fun all right….

The temple of Karnack in Luxor, the ancient library of Alexandria, the catacombs, Cairo, sphinx, and THE PYRAMIDS, she had visited all these places in the past 2 weeks, I and EVIL M both were like Wha….. with both our mouths wide open, she said of all the experiences she had there, and also she had a surprise for me, I was like, that was the surprise, I could now brag to everyone saying, I know this friend who went to some of the “hottest” places on earth and everyone else who heard that story (added with a lil masala and exaggeration… of course :P) would be all open mouthed, just like me, I thought what could be the surprise????

(The Tickets)

So when I got to the college the next day……

I dint get to know what it was, cause she was suffering from jet lag, I thought I would get it the next day, but there was this informal holiday so I dint go to college, but she had come, so I dint get it that day even, and when I went the next day, I got to know she was suffering from fever, and it was the same case the next day too.

Surprise+Waiting can be a really…., really bad combination, so I just prayed to god, that she get well soon (I dint do it for the surprise, I did it for her. Honest ;)) so on Monday I got to know, she was all good, (I silently thanked god :)) I waited, she came to class and after the first class, R.J unveiled the surprise, she had bought me gifts from Egypt(Wohooo, yeah…. yeah the excitement hasn’t got down… still), there were 2 things, one a very beautiful original papyrus book mark, and 2^nd ……, hey…… you guys have seen that black insects in the movie mummy right?, that eat up human flesh, ok I am not scaring you :P, but the souvenir was shaped like that, with a electric blue back casing, and Egyptian encryptions all over it, it was a show piece, I was just amazed by the beauty of it, I have never got a gift from a foreign country, maybe bandanas, or fake moustaches for the fancy dress competitions, but they were all “foreign” if you know what I mean… this was something authentic, so true, I mean I showed it to my parents and they were like “awwwwww you lucky dog”…. It was beautiful…. And I was happy, really happy.

“I know R.J thank you is not the word I should be saying, but I am so thankful to you, I will preserve it till the last moment of my life :), thank you so much, you are a very good friend ;)”

(The the papyrus book mark)

The other one i will leave it for your imagination :)

I thought, that was all for the week, but it was not meant to be; it ended with a tremendous bang. A bang of gigantic proportions.

My brother works as a marketing executive, and he has to travel to many places including villages, where as every Indian knows, roads are drivers and never good, so last week when he was going to a village with a friend, he had an accident, it was a bad accident, my bro was sitting in the back of the motorbike, he was hit bad, but not as bad as the driver, when I got to know, I couldn’t go there immediately, because there were too many people in the hospital and none at home, so everyone said me to stay back at home, I said “No, I won’t, I wanna be there too” but they assured me that, my bro was all right, there was a bad muscle tear, in his thigh, and some damage to the jaw, nothing serious. So I stayed back, I thought I would go there tomorrow and help in any way possible, as some of the family members had to go to Bangalore the other day.

So I went, with my bhabi at around 7 in the morning, and you know hospital rules like no screaming, no playing around, no dancing, no farting, so…… it was pretty boring there, I even fell asleep couple of times in the chair I was sitting, and then my brother got up and said he wanted something to eat, I went to the “nearby” (Read: half a kilometer away) shop and got what he needed, and then the relatives started pouring in, and some of them were taking unfair advantage of me “Boy, go get me a coffee”, “Hey thousif, I need a tea, run along, and get me a cigarette too ok”, I was running back and forth to the “nearby” shop like a marathon with no stops. It went all through the morning, the afternoon, the evening, I even got to know about the kids of the shopkeeper, for Christ sake, In the end I got so pissed that around 6 in the evening when my (accident) brother said me to get some coffee for him, I was so angry, that I huffed out of there.

And that is when I heard a voice, it said to me in a cool and calm manner “Thousif, you shouldn’t have been angry, does this happen every day, that your bro getting in an accident and sleeping here…, no na, you enjoy every day, you dance (if you can call it that :P), you sing (if you can call it that :P), you have fun in college, but today your family needs you, Your brother needs you, sure those relatives were dumbos (I really don’t wanna use the word the voice used) but do this for your brother, I know you are a good person, screw those relatives, go get some coffee with some biscuits for him. With a smile… OK”

I was surprised, and when I really got to know whose voice was it, I was even more shocked; I thought I would faint at that point, It was the voice of EVIL M.

I said to him “EVIL M turning HOLY M, Waaav (yeah the Saif wala wow :P)” and EVIL M said “Yeah… but don’t you go bragging about it to everyone, I have a reputation to maintain to”

I was all smiles, and I realized that decisions taken sometimes in anger can be wrong, very wrong, I was really glad, EVIL M was there at my side, and I can always count on him when needed, and even when not needed :P, life can be tricky, because I learnt the real meaning of a saying that day

“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”

Have a wonderful weekend guys…. And happy holy to every one of you, let the colors of happiness touch you all, and may it leave its mark on every human heart. and EVIL M’s for that matter… ;) Take care. Have fun.

Love to hate it.....

Life, Ah…., just as I say that word it makes me think, what is it?, is it something we love to live, or is it something we live to hate, or is it a combination of both… don’t worry no philosophy is coming from this journalism student(Who doesn’t know banana’s worth of journalism :P), but if I have to say about my life, it has been a roller coaster, literally, I mean I am finding new things everyday, which sometimes bore me cause they are the same things.., but sometimes they surprise me to a extent where I ask a question to myself “Do I really know the REAL ME?” well that exact question was answered a couple of days ago

My shopping friend ‘D’, I guess you have read her exploits earlier, If not read it here and here well I honestly dint believe that a person who doesn’t know what she is gonna do the next moment (except chat on her phone or eat ice cream all day :P), would make me experience my life in such a way that would surprise even me.

Well the 2 instances that you are about to experience now, taught me that sometimes what we hate to do, can turn out to something, we would love to do again.

#1. Last Friday as soon as classes got over, plans were made to watch a film, film in my friend’s circle strictly means only kannada, cause reason one being ‘Good’ English films don’t come very often here, and hindi.. woh toh kisi koh samjh may hi nahi aati (Because it is not understood by any :P) except me and a couple others (and to think these are all Hindustani’s lol :P)

So, we were deciding upon the film, when I asked “Which is the film?”

All (A group of ten) replied, “When you get to the theater you will know….”

I knew I was in trouble, I guessed either it would be a cry baby film, or a chick flick(both are same right? :P), but I heard my mind say “Dude you have no idea….” And it smiled an evil grin.

My mind usually doesn’t interfere, but I know whenever it does, it will be a experience which I would remember my whole life, just like when it had spoke on 2 previous occasions, and both the times it had got me stitches, one on my chin and another in the back of my head ;).

We got to the theater when I finally got the surprise, that the film was ‘Arya-2’

Don’t let the horses of your brain run afar, it is a telegu film (yeah, they are making sequels in regional films too nowadays :P).

I backed out my hands that instant saying I was not coming, as I dint understand one word of telegu, They said you have too… when my mind suddenly interrupted “Friendship can make you do many crazy things, like drinking tequila and throwing up in a disco or jumping out of an airplane without parachute… what’s this… dare boy dare….”

I hit my head and retorted back saying “I can’t, I don’t know a word in that language, it would be like watching a Chinese movie without subtitles, spare me, I hate telegu films”

I begged and cried (with fake tears of course :P), but to no avail, they literally were dragging me into the theater, I was a holding a lamp post just like a dog hugging to its bone , when suddenly ‘D’ came to me and said in a threatening tone “Listen….I am crazy (No doubt there, I said to myself :P) , I mean ccccaaaarrrrrraaaazzzyyyyyy fan of the film’s hero….. allu arjun, even I don’t know telegu(surprise, surprise), still I love to watch him, but I am not going in there without all of my friends, so don’t act crazy, and get your ass in there, or else I will never talk to again” same threat followed with all the others

I was in full surprise, because, barring 2, none in our group knew telegu, I was wondering why are they all so excited to see the film?, but when I looked at ‘D’ smiling I knew… she being a crazy fan of the hero had convinced all that it is a superb film, and as she is THE moodiest person on earth…, all had succumbed…

I said ok, but I got the real shocker when I got to know the ticket fare, “Shell out 170 bucks” she said, I silently gave her the money,

“Extortion, that’s what it is” I cried after her…

“What?” she replied turning back

“Nothing, damn mosquitoes…” I said waving my hands, at that time my mind was laughing like the joker in the film dark knight “170 bucks for a movie which you will not understand a single word… Muhuhaha… one more addition to the ‘most-stupid-thing-ever-done’ list”

I hit my head and said “Be Silent…..” Couple of girls gave me a weird look, smiling nervously at them, I went inside.

Ah the movie…….it was………….. Hell, I mean, the songs were good, I guessed I could understand even chinese to some extent, but not this, and the only image that was flashing in my mind was of a Sikkim girl who studies in our class, because classes are usually done in kannada, and at that moment I knew how her suffering would be everyday, My mind dint leave me here too, it began “Your reputation of ‘No1 Kanjoos’ was ripped to shreds today…. Congrats… but don’t worry, look...The heroine is cute... Maybe she will say ‘I love you thousif’, but you will never know.. Muhuhaha”

I hit my head again, I had a headache and I dint knew, was it due to the film or due to me hitting my head, “Awesome film na?” asked ‘D’ in the interval, I showed her a thumbs up sign with a smile (fake one of course), and took in the grueling second half, everyone was laughing at the jokes except me…

Finally the film ended and I ran outside the theater and waited for others… It was my turn to threaten “Everyone of you are coming to 3 idiots when it comes out….anybody backing out … I won’t talk to anyone” (No we are not 2^nd grade children, but honestly we are people studying our masters :P)

All gave me big smiles and said “Sure”, and the biggest smile was of ‘D’

Suddenly I dint feel so angry on anyone, but happiness engulfed me from inside as I saw them smiling towards me,

#2…… Monday… I came to class, looking at me the group said “We are bunking class, and going to an engagement of our senior’s sister in a village some 150 Kms away”,

“But you know na yaar, I hate travelling…” I said

“Nothing doing, get your ass in gear, we have a train to catch” they said pulling me out of the class and we went.

‘D’ was on the train before anyone, all dressed up, “Hi.. you came?... I am surprised” she said

“Yeah me too” I replied

We reached the place, my ass aching due to the journey and I got another surprise when I learned that we have to go in a goods carrier auto to the place, so we went…. seniors and juniors all including a group of 16 in an auto(If you think how we fit in, don’t ask…), humps were pounding my ass like hammers but as I was going, I saw the lush greenery of the fields which is nowhere in a city, the sun silently smiling from above, the fresh air purifying my lungs, and the screaming by all like monkeys gone wild, I said to myself this is not half bad, but only when I got to the place did I find the real surprise…

The senior called everyone into the home, and we sat beside 200 tons of tobacco (They are agriculturists) and kids playing beside, but it took my breath away when I saw the house layout, Even though the hall was small, the woodwork of the ceiling was like rainbow painted across the sky, and it was so cool in the house even in the boiling sun outside, I mean I have had perspiration even in an AC room in Mysore (sure I had an exam that day :P).

The engagement took place and I saw the whole village had come to participate, there were traditional pujas, music, and it seemed like the whole village was celebrating some sort of festival, we had lunch and when we were to leave, when the senior came to us and said:

“Thank you all for coming, I am so very happy that you all came” she said specifically pointing at me, and gave us the biggest smile I have ever seen, sure the ride back included 13 people crammed in an Omni car (my legs and ass still hurt..), but the experience was invaluable, as I saw the things I never knew existed, and got to see the smile which I could have never seen in my entire life :).

These 2 things that I hated to do till that day taught me one very important thing, that sometimes, what you hate to do, if it brings a smile onto your friends face, I guess one should do it, cause we would not lose anything as we already hate to do it, but if we do the same, the happiness and smile that comes on to your friends face is worth it for every second that it lasts, I mean it’s absolutely worth it…

And, a merry Christmas to everyone of you, may god's blessing be always on you, and may you have a fabulous new year, I thank all my readers for being there for me all this year, and i look forward for your 'divine' presence next year too....love you all :)

Till next time, keep smiling and make your friends smile too…. Take care. :)

A 'Girl's' day out Part-2

Its Sunday on the clock, and thousif is back to blog, (cool rhyme eh? ;))

Well this past week has been eventful, in some ways it was awesome and in some ways its was sad, but one event surpassed it all by bringing happiness and joy in my life after a long time, and the event was the birthday of my shopping friend 'D' :)

Well you guys know about how I helped (Read: Suffered) 'D' with her shopping for her birthday and on 26^th her birthday came, I had prepared my self earlier getting her gift which were 3 pairs of stylish(Read: Cheap) earrings along with a a very pricey gift wrap (It cost more than the earrings itself, you know :P)

(cute eh? :P)

But before the night of the birthday, my T.A Bhabhi was a lil unwell, so in that concern, I forgot to bring along the gift. I remembered this on the way to coll in the bus when I said “Oh, Shit”(The girl beside me eyed me with weird looks) and said to myself “I am dead, she is gonna be all over me demanding gift what am I gonna do?”

I decided to buy couple of 2 rupees roses on the road, but thought “No, mai sach ka saamna karonga, whatever happens let it be.”

I reached coll and waited for her, and some time when I saw her coming, I was lil surprised, cause everyone around her was wishing her and I said to myself, “Saala, Its not been 2 months since we joined college, and this girl is already so popular, hmmmm”. But only when she came to me that I knew what was the secret of her “popularity”.

She was saying everyone, “Hi, Its my birthday, wish me,Its my birthday wish me” I was puzzled “normal” persons always shy away from saying anyone its their birthday, and this girl was opening announcing it, I thought “ This girl will be the chicken in everyone's gravy today, everyone will ask her for a treat and she has to because they all have 'wished' her”

She came towards me and couple of guys waved their hands from the back saying “Don't wish, dont wish”, but I dint listen and wished her, then she asked for her gift I said, “There was no gift that matched your stupid err stupendous personality, so I dint buy any” she was disappointed and I couldn't see that, so I told her the truth “Its OK, but don't you forget tomorrow” she ordered, I saluted her with an army stance and agreed, she smiled and continued with the 'please wish me' regime.

I was just smiling to myself seeing her, she was living life to her fullest and I must say she got a lot more wishes than what I got on my last birthday ;), but couple of my friends dint wish her at all, they said “Till you get us sweets we wont wish you”. She apologized and said “I will get them by evening but please wish me now please” she begged but they remained adamant. I wondered why, and when I asked them they said “we have organized a surprise for her in evening, so we will wish her at that time itself”.

You had to see the how she was asking the not wishing guys to wish, but even after having a hearty lunch sponsored by 'D' they dint, she was visibly sad, seeing that I asked those guys to wish her, but they refused, in the evening she brought sweets from bakery and gave it to everyone, the not wishing guys said, “we will wish you come outside”, and when she went outside everyone brought in a big cake and huge gift. Then those guys closing her eyes brought her in and gave her the surprised, she was astonished seeing the change in the room.. after we sang happy birthday, she tried blowing the candles, tried, because they were magic candles and after 2 seconds would light up again, oh my god I was laughing so much seeing her trying to blow out the candles, she blew and blew till she was blue, just as her dress(which I selected :D)

(Thats the cake we gave her)

Then everyone feeling pity blew together, cutting the cake she distributed and that was where the real fun started, cause where there is a cake there has to be a cake fight right?, thats what exactly happened, cause she and couple of others were smeared in cake from face to hair to shoulders my god I thought I would die laughing seeing them... though I escaped with 'minimum' damage, and then after everyone got cleaned up, 'D' suddenly had tears in her eyes she said “This is the best birthday party I ever had, ever, you guys are the best friends I have got, and I think I will ever get”, we all joined in with her all emotional, and I gotta say, even if it was her birthday it was more of our birthday than her.

She opened the gift to find a big huge pink teddy, It was so very cute that I was hugging it more than her (Now I know why girls love teddy's so much ;))

(So cute Teddy na..)

When I returned the next day I brought her the earrings and she disliked the one I liked, but the other 2 which i dint like so much, I asked myself “when will I understand girls?” and the answer came automatically “Never”.

I talked with her and simply asked her “What is the most extreme thing happened to you?”,(I ask everyone that, cause you know I gotta boast about the fact how I was struck by a shock of a lightning and survived, so :P), she said “I got current shock when I was playing with the switches one time” I said “Everybody once in their lives gets a current shock, tell me something extreme” you wouldn't believe the answer she gave she said “I have eaten hailstones fallen from the sky” and I was like :P.

Thats it guys till next time god bless take care.

A 'Girl's' day out ;)

Couple of Days back, for the first time in my life, I did a great achievement, I did something all the men dread to do, I did a thing that I am not so proud of, but still am, sort of ;), wanna know what it is????, Well........

I went shopping with a girl :P

I can already see your face expressions, guys would be laughing their asses off saying “Dude.........”, and girls would be thinking what's the big thing in that?, correct hai na..

About the experience what can say........, was it valuable? Yes. Was it good? Not so much, Was a lesson? Definitely yes ;).

It all started when my friend, 'D' told me, “I wanna buy a dress for my birthday” I was all enthusiastic, and I said “I would love to help” cause I never had gone for shopping with a girl, I had heard “rumors”(Read: Truth) that, it will be experience through hell and you will be crying at the end of the day, so whenever my frenz who were girls asked me to come shopping with them, I had always shied away from it, but my brain was frozen as I had eaten a lot of ice creams that day. So I agreed.

She said “I want to buy jeans this time” And I said “I know a nice place where I buy jeans, but they have also a girls section, so you can check it out”, she agreed, and when we reached the place, she suddenly saw a long line of shirts and started seeing through them, I saw her till she made a decision screening through almost 60 shirts and after trying a couple of them, she said she dint like any, and after I followed her out, she blamed me saying “There isint a nice thing there!!, what shop is that?, No nice selection itself!!” I said “ Ok baba, but why did you just browse through shirts, you said you wanted a jean right?”, she said, “Na I don't want one now, lets see if they have any salwars”, I agreed and went to another shop nearby, she browsed again, and said, not good, I agreed this time, cause the shop keeper was only showing BLUE dresses (He seemed like a huge fan of the film!!), So we went to another shop which she suggested.

Being 3 years in Mysore, this silly girl still doesn't know, which road leads to where, she asked me to guide her through(The just arrived guy :P), and some how I manged to get her to her shop, and that’s where the real torture started. She went in the shop, and the sales girl started showering us with salwars, literally.

She was selecting and I was repenting, for the decision, the sales girl picked many, but she dint like any, then the fed up sales girl said, “you only come here and decide”, she went beside the counter,. And started browsing, she would pick one and ask me, ok na?, good na?, I had to answer, that too faking a smile on my face, and after trying more than 6 dresses, she seemed to like one, but was still asking me, “Its good na, its good na?” when I said “Yes, its better than the rest”, she dint seem to agree, so she tried out 3 more dresses, and when finally some other customer pleaded, “Can you please lend me the room?, I have to reach home early today”, only then did she leave the changing room, and finally asking me 5 more times, she agreed to buy a dress, which I had earlier said yes too.

When we got out, I had sweat on my face, even though we were just coming out of an AC show room, so you can imagine what kind of situation I had to go through, but when she said “Birthday dress is the most special dress for me, thank you for the help” and smiled at me, I thought it was worth it. You know the difference in a guy's shopping and girls shopping is that girls buy with their heart whereas we buy with just money. I think that’s where we feel short, it’s the heart that matters and I think they got plenty of it.

Saying that I wish all my readers a very happy and prosperous diwali, have tons of fun, be smiling and be safe ok, take care :)

100 "Fabricated" Truths ;)

Well i looked back at all my posts from the start, and there hasn't been a tag which could help you know me better, So i decided to face the truth, and took up the "Sach Ka Samna" kinda quiz which i stole from some plce :D, So here goes.....

1. Last beverage: Pomegranate juice(And it tasted like tonic, yuck)
2. Last phone call: Vodafone customer care(I hate them as much as you do)
3. Last text message: Again customer care, I tell you these guys should be shot, drowned and quartered.
4. Last song you listened to: Kanye west-Heartless (Awesome song that)
5. Last time you cried: I cry when I get sad, to answer the question, It’s been a week, I guess….

HAVE YOU EVER...
6. Dated someone twice: Recession is going on, So No.
7. Been cheated on? Yeah, my friend stole 2 rupees from me and he is still hiding........

8. Kissed someone & regretted it? No......
9. Lost someone special? Yeah when my frog Sammie was kidnapped......

10. Been depressed? I have lost count of that......
11. Been drunk and threw up? Never have, Never will….

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Red

14. White
15. Black again :P

FIRSTS:
16. Made new friends: In virtual life yes :), In real life No :(
17. Fallen out of love: Not exactly, I donno, Maybe
18. Laughed until you cried: Many many times, most of the times watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S(its an awesome show na??)
19. Met someone who changed you: Yes, Rakhi Sawant. :P
20. Found out who your true friends were: Other than my pet frogs Tammie and Pammie, yeah they are many ;)
21. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah Tammie and Pammie were talking y'day it was so awful, that I cant tell you...........

HAVE YOU

:22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: lemme ask my frenz itself, guys I am ready whats your opinion???? ;)(girls only ok) :P
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Except some of my Blog mates, All

24. How many kids do you want to have: 3 maybe 4, I am not sure yet. ;)
25. Do you have any pets: 2 frogs, A cat, 6 kittens, and uncountable cockroaches......
26. Do you want to change your name: Naaa, A Genius is known by his original name you see ;)
27. What did you do for your last birthday: As it was in coll, had a tanker load of fun, it was the best b’day ever
28. What time did you wake up today: Exactly @ 10:36:42 :D
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: Listening to Songs, while my mom was screaming @ me ;)….
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The day when my frogs will grow up to be responsible citizens in their community. :P

31. Last time you saw your father: He’s here, watching TV.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My dreams are so big that I wake up from my sleep everyday, wish my head was a little bigger so that they could fit in, :P

33. Most visited web page: Of course my own, knowthousif.blogspot.com.

Whats your:
34. Name: Thousif Raza
35. Nicknames: Gamer, Music freak, Sweeto, Pagal, Blog addict etc etc
36. Zodiac sign: Capricorn with 2 big horns, beware you non commenter's on my blog :P
37. Male or female or transgender : Definitely Male.
38. Elementary: Sri Rajeshwari Vidyalaya
39. School: Same as above
40. Colleges: Field Marshall K.M Cariappa College
41. Hair color: My fav color Black
42. Long or short: Short an spiky(my hair that is) :D
43. Height: 170cms I guess,
44. Do you have a crush on someone? I think so...
45. Ever been in love? As shaggy sings, what's love gotta do with it?? eh ;)
46. Piercings? If stitches count then yes, 3 :D
47. Tattoos? Lemme check..................... No :P

48. Righty or lefty: Lemme check............ Mouse is in my right hand, so I must be right handed, so righty :P
49. First surgery: None, but I got couple of stitches from my childhood adventures ;),
50. First piercing: When I fell from top of my house gate, I got 3 stitches in the back of my head :D
51. First best friend: Vinod. Best and always will be
52. First sport you loved: Truly Indian on this, Cricket ;)
53. First pet: Cat, couple of Hens were also there I think;)
54. First vacation: Whole of Mysore, Still remember it….

55. First concert: Still to…….
56. First crush: She was the cutest and also 2 years senior when I was in school, Sanchan :P

RIGHT NOW:
57. Eating: My nails :P
58. Drinking: Other than my saliva nothing.......
59. I'm about to: Freak out after answering so many questions
60. Listening to: My mom begging me to take a bath :P
61. Waiting for: Water to Boil, So that I can take a Bath, its been a week you see :P

YOUR FUTURE :
62. Want kids? A whole bunch of em.....
63. Want to get married? I am still having my thoughts on that :D
64. Careers in mind? Journalism, or Photography or Advertising

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: Eyes
66. Hugs or kisses: Both,
67. Shorter or taller: Medium Is good ;)
68. Older or Younger: Obviously younger yaar
69. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous is always good
70. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both
71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
73. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker, just like me :D

HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: Lemme check the list and tell you........................ Hmmmm No.
75. Lost glasses/contacts: Mujhe char anhke nahi chahiye dekhne ke liye(I dont need four eyes to see), I have two and they work just fine
76. Broken someone's heart: Never have, Never will.
77. Had your own heartbroken: I am still picking up the pieces.........
78. Been arrested: Lemme check and tell.......... hmmm No...........
79. Turned someone down: Maybe yaar, itne sare proposal the(i had so many proposals), I don’t remember :P
80. Cried when someone died: For a month, and I still do sometimes, it was my sister.
81. Liked a friend that is a girl? Hmmm Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: Yes very much
82. Miracles: Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have passed in my exams you see ;)
83. God: With all my heart.
84. Love at first sight: No, because she may also be a psycho you see.... :P
85. Heaven: yes, and just like Eddie money sings, I got two tickets to paradise, one for me, one for my 2 frogs ;)
86. Santa Claus: Lemme ask and tell..... Santa Claus showed the finger to the guy who prepared this tag :P
87. Kiss on the first date?: Yes, and I would say make it a double please, :D
88. Angels: Yes.. My mother is one of them.
89. Devils: Have got many as my ‘Frenz’ ;)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: (what was i doing until now then :P)
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : Yes, my friend who stole my 2 rupees..........
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? : Ek hi nahi milti, dusri kahaan se laoo??? (I cant find one itself, where would I find another one????)

92. Wanted to kill someone ever? : That 2 rupees guy….
93. Among you blog mates, who would you like to kiss? : Everyone of them, boys included, because everyone writes so awesomely....... :)
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? : I have committed one by taking this tag, and I think if not me, you guys will be definitely regretting after reading it.......
95. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? : Stealing is a bad habit, dint your mom tell you not to steal????.

Associate with something you wear:
96. White: Nice to see.
97. Black: My favorite color
98. Pink: Girly, So don’t have anything of that color
99. Red: Another favorite color, I got a real good T-shirt, Fav of all
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? More like hundred fabricated truths :D

For the people who sat through these hundred questions, I worship you literally, for those wondering why I have written Hindi lines in English also, that's because I got couple of international readers too you see, (if you think I am showing off, then you are absolutely right :P)

And i pass the tag to whoever is courageous(Read: Stupid) enough to take it

Hope you had fun, take care cya soon............

Good = Bad, Bad = Good / Life

Well i am drenched, exhausted, sad, angry and a lot more from my visit to mysore, my life has changed a hundred folds, from living in a small town called coorg, to the city that i live today, it has also brought a lot of changes in my life, i now wash my clothes myself,(Damn its back breaking job), i now iron my clothes myself (but most of the time its done by my BIG cousin bro ;)), i now take the responsibilities for the mistakes done by me, in short, i have grown up from a small town guy, to the next big thing in the city :D,



I also learnt a very very good thing, i think we all can relate to that, its called 'making wrong assumptions', in our life, what we assume to be good becomes bad, and what we assume bad becomes good, Life is all about learning, getting experienced, and ultimately taking decisions which would change you for the better, well I have been doing just that, and getting to know more about the beast called life :), but from a week or so my life has changed with so many twists and turns, that if it would be made into a film..., I think it would have won an Oscar, so without further delay let’s gets started with the Oscar process,


Start camera, rolling…..

ACTION…..

Scene one: When I went to make a PAN (permanent account number) card, I went to the office, there I saw a girl who was the assistant, one look at her face and I thought my work is not gonna be easy here, she seemed all snotty and like a person who is completely frustrated with her job and life, I asked her “can I have an application?”, she handed me one, and told me what all to fill out, and was the most helpful person ever, she talked so sweet and in such a calm manner, you had to hear her, it made me feel so very bad about my assumption, ohh I can’t explain, I hated myself at that instant, that’s when I got to know Bad what I thought was, actually = Good

Scene two: When I first read her blog, I thought, here’s a girl who’s got attitude like none other, and also she is the coolest girl I have seen err read about, I mean she can beat anyone in coolness(amith beware ;)), she can even make ICE jealous of her and make it melt, that’s about her coolness, when I read the blog further, I thought she doesn’t care about any other person, and just likes to live in her own world, but when she wrote a post, about her relation with a child link, you have to read those words to get to know her, She has got attitude all right, and seems strong as rock, but beneath all that she is the most caring and the sweetest person, she really cares about others, but does not let them know that she does, I made a terrible judgment call when I thought she was just another bad person, my apologies yaar ( i think you know who you are, ;))very sorry about that, that’s when I got to know, Bad what I thought was actually = Good.

INTERMISSION

(Go grab some chips, a coke and get back quick ;))

(Back already?? ok nice, lets continue)

Scene Three: After winning a war (Read: Writing Exam), I was talking with my friend (let’s call him ‘Mr Fool’) and coming back, he has been good at times, so I made an assumption he would be of a good character too, but here I got to know what he is really like, We were just talking about college stuff when I mentioned to him, “Nikhil (name changed) is very intelligent na?”, when I told him this, he got back at me saying, “What?? Him!! I hate that guy, Intelligent my foot, He is just a bluff man, what do you think thousif?”, actually I too don’t like nikhil so much, I would have told him this, but these guys (i.e nikhil and Mr fool) are like bestest frenz ever, and when he told me like that, it got me thinking, I somehow sensed, Mr fool is playing with me so that I say something bad about Nikhil and, he would say the same and make me look bad, My brain bulb lighted up and I said “No yaar he is better than me and you both, but i will let nikhil know, what you think about him!!” and put a stop to his evil idea, he sulked about not getting his prey and went home, this was the 1st time when I got to know, Good is actually = bad, :o.

CLIMAX

Scene Four:

I was returning from town, after a winning another war ;), while I saw my uncle, aunt, their kids and some of their relatives walking on road, my uncle’s kid named Sawan Kumar (Name changed :D) is crazy about me, the only reason for that is, he is not actually crazy about me, he is crazy about the computer I have, because it has all the latest games, so whenever he sees me he flings on me like a frog's tongue jumps on a fly :D, so as he saw me he got all crazy and started screaming all over the place, but when I saw my aunt she had turned her back towards me, it was as though like I was not there itself, while I was just 2 feet away from her, uncle called out and said “see, Thousif is here” she turned back and said “ooh when did you come?”, it was like she dint even knew I was there, but it got me thinking, while someone screams, you either have to be deaf or either you have to ignoring someone, she was definitely not deaf ,she was just ignoring me….

It wouldn’t have hurt me so much, but when she sees me she cares about me, but the ignoring part happens every time when her relatives come to visit her or when she sees me on road and all, what I thought was care, was actually FAKE care which she showed just for the heck of it, that’s when I got to know another time, Good is actually = Bad, : o,

Message of the film: Never make a judgment call before you know a person completely, give him/her a chance, they may be nice, but never let your guard down, they may also be evil.

THE END

So will it win an Oscar???

I already know your answer it’s BIG “NO” lol, but if you have better views about people, then enlighten me with your comments, they will be duly noted. also dont forget to state a name for the film too :P.

and for my regular readers, i know this wasnt much of my best post, but behold, cause there is a feast coming towards you in my next post, i have been indulging in something creative and will let you know about it all in my next post, so dont you miss out, cause if you do, you will lose BIG time, so start getting psyched right now :P......

take care all of you, may god bless you all with happiness to last for a life time, cya soon